Boys are dumb.

My dad and my husband spent a good two hours last night talking about stupid crap they used to do to their buddies with pellet guns and such. Morons. I started the Somewhat Cowel. It's an experiment in yarn substitution. Miss Wendy used Blue Sky Alpacas, Alpaca and Silk, an alpaca silk blend. I'm using Knit Picks Andean Silk, an alpaca silk blend. The difference is one is sport weight and one is practically worsted. So what I did was take my guage swatch and figure out how many stitches would equal my bust size. Then I took the guage in the pattern and figured out which size multiplied out with the same stitch count. Now what I'm doing is following the directions for the 36" size but the measurements for the 44" size and praying that this very dodgy conversion system will work. It sounds good in theory, right? Right?

Merry Solstichramadahanukwanzaa and a Happy New Year (and a belated one to our Jewish friends)!

Did I get everyone with that? Solstice, Christmas, Ramadan, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa. Yeah I think that's it. Thanks for all your fab comments on the overalls. I'll be sure to post pics of the recipiant's face as soon as we're back from all our Christmas travelling. Thanks to everyone who read this thing for doing so, you all are my outlet and I thank you from the bottom of my drawer- er, heart. Mushy-mushy gross, gross, gross. Love, Sarah

The moment you've all been waiting for.

That's right, it's time. Here they are in all thier flabberghasticity. That's my new word. And the back: And a close up of the top: Here's a detail of the buttons I used. Not good. Here's a good shot of the back straps. Look at all that Bernat Disco. A very bad ass indeed. Now this is where I stopped caring about quality and, if you can believe it, how these things looked. Yep it's where I just tied the old ball of yarn tothe new ball and kept right on going. I just wanted to be DONE! Consequently most of the ends were knotted in some way rather than woven in. Forgive my crappy craftsmanship but I didn't actually want to look at these ugly things anymore. I'm only human! Project Details: Pattern: Overall Shorts (#33) Knit.1 Spring 2005 Yarn: Lion Brand Magic Stripes in Denim Stripe, Bernat Disco in some sort of awful brown, an unlabeled orange fur yarn, and Lion Brand Fun Fur in I lost the ball band so let's call it Bright Fucking Yellow. Notes: Even without trying this pattern is a disaster but when you are trying, lordy, lordy.

Sneek Peek

I'm done with the knitting and am doing the finishing today. Tomorrow's blog entry will be pictures of the Overalls of Shame in thier full flabberghasting glory. For you today I have a sneek peek. A sneek peek of the project that my little brother said, "If someone gave me those I'd throw up on them and then I'd run to the bathroom and cry," about. Yeah, they're as bad as we all thought.

Baby Beetons

Bonus Post! Two in one day? You bet! Here are a few pics of Baby Girl's handwarmers. I saw the pics of Mrs. Beeton from Knittytm and thought they might be cute for my little one but didn't have any yarn the right weight and was NOT going through the hassle of beading handwarmers for an 18 month old. In my typical fashion I just jumped right in with some leftover Panache and Andean Treasure (they match a lot better in person) and ended up making a simple project INCREDIBLY complex. To do these the way I made them requires use of size eight and six DPNs all at the same time. It's like double knitting but even more unwieldy. Anyway, here they are. They're a tube with ribbing at both ends and a bit at the wrist. The ruffle was joined double knitting style. There are small buttonhole openings for her thumbs but I don't think she'll wear them that way. In fact, I don't think she'll wear them at all. But hey, I tried.

Overalls of Shame update

I've almost finished the bib of the Overalls, I'm on the buttonhole row. I had to take a little break to knit my anemic baby girl some hand warmers. Yeah she really is anemic. We went to the doctor yesterday for her 18 month visit and she got stuck seven (one finger prick for biliruben test, six shots) times. Hard for any mom to watch but even better was that we did The Boy's 4 year old check up at the same time and he got stuck five times (one biliruben test, for shots). Yesterday was not a fun day. At least now we know why she's always got freezing hands. She's on an iron supplement and a multivitamin, no big deal. I think the main reason she was iron deficiant was because she was refusing to eat while she was sick for like a month. Anyway, back to the Overalls. All that's left is the back straps and the finishing. I've decided that instead of doing a single crochet edging around all the edges (I'm still not getting the crochet thing despite my SP's Crochet for Dummies book, perhaps someone should write: Crochet for Inept and Blithering Idiots who Don't Know When to Get Someone Else to Do it) I'm going to do I-cord binding with Fun Fur. Oh the humanity! For your viewing pleasure I've included a rejected proof from our family photo shoot. This pose was rejected on the basis that I look like I'm going, "S'up?"

I sewed something that doesn't suck!

My in-laws are really nice people. I know, you didn't expect me to say that. It's almost shocking that I'd say such a thing given how I'm prone to rant about any given noun. Really, though, my in-laws are very nice people. That's not to say they don't drive me crazy at times because they can. Oh how they can! Most of the time though the driving me crazy is just a result of their eagerness to please or belligerent hospitality. So imagine my surprise last year when my sister-in-law's boyfriend of three years (the first year he didn't come to Christmas, the second year he was fighting the [insert appropriate adjective here] fight in Iraq, last year being the third year) was assigned a Christmas stocking that had belonged to, not one but, TWO now deceased cats. Man, was that a long sentence. I don't know if my mother-in-law thought he wasn't going to last or what but it was just sad to see that stocking (my in-laws fill a stocking for everyone) with Sneakers written on one side and Zebo written on the other (okay, I don't remember which cats were on it but those are two of their previous cats so that's what I'm saying was on it) assigned to poor Joe. It also struck me as odd since she had gone and gotten those $1 stockings for my kids. Why not just get one more? Anyway, I'll get to the point. I told them that I was going to make Joe a Christmas stocking. I totally forgot about this until about two weeks ago. Oops. I call up my mother-in-law yesterday and ask some questions about the stockings and we (yes, we) both thought it might be nice to do stockings for all four of us recent additions that matched with the ones she had made for her kids/husband/self 30ish years ago. So I set off to Michael's. DEAR GOD! The line inside the store wrapped around the inside of the building. They also didn't have everything I wanted so I left. I dragged Red Todd Kidd to Joanne's Fabrics for red, white, and green felt (yes, I did tell the clerk I was making a sparkly Mexican flag). They didn't have exactly the right colors so I grabbed the closest match which was sparkly. I'm hoping my mother-in-law doesn't mind. I told RTK that it was perfect because we're all shiny and new. He didn't get the joke. Neither did my mom. After much frustration I made the stockings. I can't draw so I was hoping to trace cookie cutters but I forgot my cookie cutters are in storage. I had to free-hand all this stuff. The actual stocking pattern is my felt boots, though, I traced 'em. Hee-hee! RTK cut out the Christmas tree for me but other than that I did it all. I'm pretty proud of these considering that most projects that involve a sewing machine, scissors, glue AND me usually end in disaster. Merry Christmas everyone!

Random quiz

You Are 80% Weird You're more than quirky, you're downright strange. But you're also strangely compelling, like a cult leader. How Weird Are You?

Promises, promises.

Okay so I know I promised you recipes and pics of firemen and you may be wondering where those are. Well, terribly sorry, my scanner is throwing a fit and won't scan the entire calendar pictures. If you want pictures of a fireman's nose though, I got ya covered. So here's my compromise, I'll give you a recipe and show you a picture of my uncle who is a fireman. Deal? Great! Oh let me disclaim this picture a bit, I took it nine months ago at our family's Easter barbecue, he's wearing the goofy girly sunglasses because he's a goofball. He took them from his little sister (the blonde lady next to him). Ain't family fun? As for your cookie recipe, this is brought to you by Fire Chief Robert Pereira of Murphys: Mint Chocolate Cookies 2/3 c Butter, softened 2/3 c Sugar 1/3 c Dark Brown Sugar 1 Egg 1 tsp Vanilla 2 (1 oz.) Squares Unsweetened Chocolate, melted 1 1/2 c Flour 2 (4.67 oz) packages of Andestm Creme de Menthe Thins, coarsely chopped Preheat oven to 325F. In a large bowl, with an electric mixer, beat butter, sugars, egg, vanilla, and melted chocolate at med-high speed until fluffy. Reduce mixer speed to low. Add flour; increase mixer speed gradually and beat until just blended. Stir in Andestm Creme de Menthe Thins. Drop heaping tablespoonfuls of dough 2 1/2" apart onto prepared cookie sheets. Bake for 17 minutes or until tops look dry. Place cookie sheet on wire rack for 5 minutes to cool then transfer cookies to racks for complete cooling. Makes about 2 dozen cookies Okay now let me just say, they sound fussy but they're not. The most important thing about these cookies is they do NOT taste right just out of the oven. They need to be room temperature to really be good. I actually like to keep them in the fridge or freezer. Also, the dough for these is OUTSTANDING. If you can't make chocolate chip cookies without eating all the dough, you will be in trouble with these. Lastly, I don't make them as big as the recipie says to, I find it just doesn't work. I use a teaspoon to put them on sheets and I get about 3-4 dozen depending on how much of the dough I eat. Okay, I still get 2 dozen.

Things I want to say.

Everything's Not Lost -Coldplay When I counted up my demons. Saw there was one for everyday, With the good ones on my shoulder, I drove the other ones away. If you ever feel neglected, If you think all is lost, I’ll be counting up my demons, yeah, Hoping everything’s not lost. When you thought that it was over, You could feel it all around, Everybody’s out to get you, Don’t you let it drag you down. 'Cause if you eve feel neglected, If you think that all is lost, I’ll be counting up my demons, yeah, Hoping everything's not lost. Life is for Living -Coldplay Now I never meant To do you wrong That’s what I came here to say But if I was wrong Then I’m sorry I don’t let it stand in our way As my head just aches When I think of The things that I shouldn’t have done But, life is for living We all know And I don’t wanna live it alone

Catharsis

I haven't had the best of weeks. I had a falling out with an old friend and have been torturing myself about it ever since. Oh you know you do it too. "Twist the knife," as Red Todd Kidd likes to say. You know, you go and watch all the movies that remind you of them, listen to the songs you know they like, read old letters or emails. It's just something I have to do before I can let go and move on, catharsis the Greeks would say. Don't worry though, this post gets much better in a sec. On Monday I took my ailing children to the doctor's office and when I arrived home I had a note from the mailman saying he tried to deliver an insured package (because it was the two hours out of the ENTIRE WEEK that I would be gone) and that it would be redelivered or I could pick it up at the distribution center. HA! Yeah I can really imagine going to the distribution center in Otay in December NO THANK YOU. So I waited for the box to be redelivered on Tuesday. No package. What the hell? I decide to chase down the mailman. So when he comes back down the street in the other direction I stop him. Never mind that It's 3:00 and I'm still wearing pajamas. Never mind that said pajamas are covered in baby snot from the aforementioned ailing children. I stop that guy in the middle of crossing the street and ask: "Do you have my package? I got a note yesterday." "Oh do you want me to deliver it?" "Uh... Yeah." "It was insured." "Okay..." "I need the card back if you want me to deliver it." "I'll go get it." I go and get the card. "Here you go." "So then you want me to deliver it?" "Yes. Please. I don't want to go to Otay and get it." "Okay but it's insured." "Okay." "Okay." I was so baffled by this conversation that I wasn't even rude. Like I would decide I didn't want something because it was insured and I missed it the first time. Our mailman is an okay guy but man alive, that is one flickering bulb. Anyway... I got my AMAZING haul from my Secret Pal who turned out to be punkrawker86! She totally gave me a huge hint by sending mixed CDs in both packs but for someone who can figure out the ending of Law&Order in the first 5 minutes of the show I was way more than slow on the draw. So my bulb fickers from time to time too. Now I feel all judgemental. Eh, I'll get over it. So here's the break down of haul: -A box of Cheeze-its -A bag of Oreos (all mine keohinani!) -Three packets of Kool-Aid -A very groovy tiny candle in a jar (it's the red feathery thing) -Bryspun DPNs, the short kind you use for gloves and such -AN ADDI TURBO! (My first one!) -A teeny weeny circ for god knows what but I'll find out! -Tim Burton's Garden of Nightmares -A fridge magnent that looks like Frankenstien's monster with the explaination that she couldn't find a zombie-lol -A mixed CD (That's pretty awesome BTW, great job!) -Four balls or partial balls of Fun Fur for the Overalls of Shame And my two favorite parts: -NINE BALLS OF ANDEAN SILK!!! In cranberry. Oh do I have just the project for those... -SheMADE me the most beautiful knitting bag! Do you see it there? She MADE it! With a matching little bag for notions. She MADE it! Just for me. In her note she said she was sorry that she couldn't afford to buy me one so she made me one. punkrawker86, you couldn't have bought a bag like this. I love it. It's totally unique. The fabric is fantastic. I love the colors. I'm just floored. I feel so special! I've even done something that I've never done in my life. I named it. Yes that's right, I named the bag. It's name is Mao Yin which to fully understand would require me rehashing a LOT of personal trauma so suffice to say the bag is helping me to get over some stuff as well. Thank you. THANK YOU. THANK YOU! It's awesome.

The Twelve Days of Christmas.

I haven't been posting regularly and I'm sorry. I've been dealing with the horrors of preschool. My son has gotten every cold that exists from his school and then shared it with his little sister. My kids have been sick on and off since the middle of September. It starting to get a little old. Anyway I've decided to keep the Overalls of Shame under wraps until their completion. Unfortuneately since my knitting time is minimal and they're my only major project that means no photos for awhile. But I have come up with a compromise: I'll post the rest of the fireman calendar cookie recipies and photos until the overalls are done, starting tomorrow. One more thing. I was inspired by Keohinani's Twelve Days of Christmas and have decided to do my own version. My Twelve Days of Christmas: On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me: A seagull in a palm tree. On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Two cookie plates and a segull in a palm tree. On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: FIVE TAMALES! Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Six Christmas parties, FIVE TAMALES! Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Seven mall disasters, six Christmas parties, FIVE TAMALES! Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Eight border crossings, seven mall disasters, six Christmas parties, FIVE TAMALES! Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Nine school productions, eight border crossings, seven mall disasters, six Christmas parties, FIVE TAMALES! Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Ten tangled tree lights, nine school productions, eight border crossings, seven mall disasters, six Christmas parties, FIVE TAMALES! Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Eleven knitting projects, ten tangled tree lights, nine school productions, eight border crossings, seven mall disasters, six Christmas parties, FIVE TAMALES! Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree. On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: Twelve tequila shots, eleven knitting projects, ten tangled tree lights, nine school productions, eight border crossings, seven mall disasters, six Christmas parties, FIVE TAMALES! Four screaming kids, three gift cards, two cookie plates, and a segull in a palm tree.

...and ride off in my time machine to victory.

Among the many things I did yesterday, I got a phone call from my friend Lucky. Lucky amuses me. Like a dancing monkey. If he read this he wouldn't even be offended because I'm pretty sure that's his goal. Anyway he was going on and on and I wasn't really paying attention when all the sudden I hear, "...and ride off in my time machine to victory." That's why I love Lucky, because he plots revenge in ways he can never achieve it but it still makes him feel vindicated. I think I'm supposed to help him get revenge on someone this weekend but since I wasn't paying to close attention to the conversation at that point (being knee deep in finishing Elizabeth) I'm not really sure. Suffice to say I'll call from jail and someone will post an interesting story on the blog on Monday. So Elizabeth is finished. Well, except for the buttons because I haven't bought any yet. I never buy buttons for a knitted project until I'm done because I always get the wrong size. Of course there aren't any buttons in my button box that will do, they're all either white or blue. How does that happen? Anyway, the yarn worked for the project but I can't say it was the best of choices. It was a bit too bulky so it was a little difficult to work with. Also my gauge was off just enough that I didn't notice until I got through two pattern repeats at the top and was where I should have been after three. I just left out the last repeat and the whole thing turned out fine. The only way to really tell is that mine has four buttonholes instead of five. Big deal. I was also unable to get a good picture so you get two crappy pictures. The second one has more accurate color. I'll try to get my mom to model it for me later when she comes home. Well, I'm off to get back to the Overalls of Shame!

Fireman!

I really have to get knitting so for today I'll just leave you with the picture of the guy who came up with the cookie recipie from yesterday. Meet Mariano Elias Jr. of the San Francisco Fire Department. Have a good one everybody!