Underpants

When you buy new underpants and take it out of the package, do you always think: There's no way that will fit me! People could camp under that! Only to find they are, in fact, the correct size?

And suddenly I try to save the day (again).

This weekend we went and signed up Darth for flag football. When we arrived they told us that the team was full but that there were almost enough kids for a second team. Eight people had signed up to assist the coach of said team but no one had signed up to be Head Coach, which they must have to have a team. Somehow I volunteered. I think this was probably stupid. I'm really not sure why I do these things. Why do I always want to save the day? Why do I stay up all night making crazy birthday cakes or injure my hand trying to make the best cupcakes ever? Why do I have to make homemade gifts? Why do I wait until the last minute to do everything? Why the HELL did I just sign up to coach football for 5 year olds? Deep breath, it's only practices 5 days a week for two weeks and 3 days a week after that with games on Saturdays. It only requires that I get re-certified in first aid and CPR and that I complete at least 6 hours of training clinics. I only have to teach 5-7 year olds in untold numbers how to play a sport I have never actually played (with rules anyway). I only have to deal with 8 dads who didn't step up to coach and will now resent that I did. You know, no big deal. I'm insane. So I'm going to knit Enrelac's sock this week. I will have it completed by next week. I will. It has been decided. This is for three reasons. #1 She loved the first one, hooray! So I'm excited and want to get her the second one. #2 Football season is going to be starting and when it does my knitting will go on hiatus for awhile. #3 I still have knit my FIL a sweater before his birthday in August. To reiterate: I'm insane. It should be fun to watch me self destruct though, right?

Today is a musical day. A crappy musical.

I've had songs in my head all day today. Early this morning I was assaulted by Kansas as I checked out a friend's MySpace page. Carry on My Wayward Son was the song of the morning until it was replaced by Punkrocker by the Teddybears on my trip to pick up Darth from school. Just now an ad (for this website) on the side of some webpage caught my eye and suddenly, though no audible music was about, 2 Live Crew filled my ears with their ode to Hoochie Mamas the world over. It's going to be days before the jumble in my brain stops going "Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think I still was a mad man. I hear the voices when I'm dreaming, I can hear them saaaaaaaaay: She ain't nothin' but a hoochie mama! Hoodrat, hoodrat, hoochie mama! 'Cause I'm a punk rocker yes I am. Well, I'm a punk rocker yes I am..." Because I don't just get songs stuck in my head, they go in there and it's like a blender where they get sampled and compiled and turned into a crazy mishmash of crap that doesn't even make sense to me. This hasn't been the best of days anyway. RTK and I were fighting but are now resolved. My shoes came via Fed Ex but didn't fit. I can't find my sunglasses. Nothing is really tragic but all together it's pretty annoying. Oh crap! I just realized I never got the meat out of the freezer to defrost! My house is messy and I really don't feel like cleaning it. My kids are whiny. I'm whiny. Hey at leat I've got some beer in the fridge. No wait, that's root beer. I just can't win. If tomorrow isn't any better I'm totally punching it in the face. *If you google (image search) the terms Hood Rat and Hoochie Mama you actually come up with a couple of knit blog posts. I cracked up. Here's Hood Rat and here's Hoochie Mama.

I made stuff. Lots of stuff.

My road trip dissolved into the ether of unrealized dreams. Alas, it was not to be. So anyway, I actually do knit. In fact my lack of blogging has been because of a tremendous amount of knitting. As evidence I will now submit pictures of what I've been up to as well as a few pictures of FOs I hadn't gotten around to posting for some odd reason even though I finished them MONTHS ago. As always, click on the pictures for larger versions. First up we have Unbiased done in Patons Soy Wool Stripes that was a gift for Irie for her graduation. I have made Unbiased twice before in sari silk and have yet to really perfect this pattern. I have intentions to line this for Irie at my earliest convenience which will be sometime around 2022 when Lola graduates from high school. Anywho, the vital stats: Patons SWS. Britany Birch needles in size 8. Pattern alterations: Only increased to 5.5 inches so I'd have a narrower deeper bag. I actually did the whole purse in two days, in between casting off Entrelac's first sock and casting on the second. Lastly, when you seem this up in the weird order that I did you actually get something that looks like a giant goofy bra for a minute. Next up we have the Socks I'm knitting for Entrelac (Pattern from Folk Socks by Nancy Bush). I have finished the first one and am starting to panic that they don't fit so the sock you see here will be wining its way out to Texas for a fitting to ease my mind or make me cry depending on the outcome. At least it's cute, right? It's my first bit of Fair Isle type work and I'm in no hurry do do anything more ambitious. I'm very pleased with the way the first one has turned out and I'm hoping Entrelac really likes them when they're all done. She and I both live in the country's "No Sock Zone" but knitted socks are just too tempting. I love contrasting toes, they make your feet look smaller. And now the last two little projects I had been forgetting to post: Dashing and My So Called Scarf (which I have had bookmarked for years with nary the right yarn nor occasion) both out of Lorna's Laces Shepard Worsted in Mineshaft and both for my friend GK. I actually knit these up for him when he was going through a really hard time and had no heat in his house (he's in Pennsylvania). By the time I finished them it was spring and he had heat again. I've had these stuffed in a care package box that I keep forgetting to finish filling and mail. If only it were the thought that counted, eh? The scarf was done on size 11 Britany birch needles and only one glaring error was made. I didn't fix it so if you feel like it you can stare until you find it, it'll be like a really uninteresting Where's Waldo picture only instead of a cute drawing you're searching for my failure! Who could deny the fun of that? The wristies were done on Clover bamboo needles in size 7. I actually finished these up at the San Diego knitty meet up. Pomegranate has pics of them somewhere I think, I had forgotten my camera. I apologize for the shitty photos. I know pics of FOs just lying about really suck but I have no model today, Iman didn't show up and they gave Tyra her own show and I just didn't feel like trying to track down Kate Moss or Fabio because she's annoying and he's always trying to take stuff from the shoots.

It's going to be epic.

Tomorrow Lucky Champagne is picking me up at 7am (yes, on a Saturday) so we can go on a road trip. Our road trip was supposed to be a weekend and it was supposed to be to our friend's bar in Arizona. Now it's just Lucky driving to wherever we can get to and back by the end of the day tomorrow. It would not surprise me if we end up at the Center of the World. I know he wants to go take some paint to the guy at Salvation Mountain. Hooray, a field trip to the zealot swindler's place! Actually I know it will be fun because it will be something different to do. Plus funny crap just always happens to Lucky. I have no idea what tomorrow will hold, I'm just along for the ride. I will be taking my camera so hopefully I'll get some amusing pictures. I had hoped to show you one finished sock for Entrelac today but I totally fucked up the toe (all because I was totally caught up in that cinematic masterpiece The Brothers Grimm) and had to rip it out so you have to wait. Not that I expect anyone was falling all over themselves in anticipation. Oh, and since a few people have asked the pattern came from Folk Socks (Welsh Country Socks), I didn't come up with it. I did modify it a bit though.