A day in the life.

I'm totally cheating. This is a day in the life of the sun. And just to be an even bigger cheater, it's not starting at sunrise but sunset and then sunrise followed by midday, because that's the order I took the pictures in. (Click on the pics for larger versions.) I took these during the fires. This first picture was taken in Ocean Beach at sunset on October 21. We had out of town guests, Garrison Keilor and Hercules, and had taken them down to the pier to show off a west coast sunset (also we had hopes to hit up a geocache but it wasn't meant to be). When I took these we had just found out about the fires and the ash was just starting to accumulate in the air. At this point we had no idea how bad it was going to be and were just enjoying the way the smoke affects the sunset. It really does incredible things with the color and the light. What I think is cool about these pictures is that they were all taken at the same time, in the same place and yet the color is completely different because of the different angles the photos were taken at. Also, they look out of order because I didn't get the sun in the second one and for some reason it looks higher in the horizon in the third one than in the first one. I don't know what I was doing with the camera other than panicking that I was running out of batteries. It was mesmerizing though. I'm glad we decided to take the guys to that spot to watch the sunset, I'm not sure what it would have been like elsewhere in the county. That pier was just perfect. The fires were terrible but what a spectacle. This is so San Diego, right here. Half the county is on fire, let's go surfing! I'm joking (sort of), like I said at this point it had only just started and no one thought it would be anything like it was in 2004, lettalone worse. Lettalone is a word isn't it? My spell check is pitching a fit about it. Whatever. Spell check can suck it. After I shot these pictures we went and got the kids some McDonalds and headed back to the house for Munchkin Cthulhu and general not paying attention to the emergency situation at hand. I ended up getting eaten by Dread Cthulhu a couple times and went to bed only to be woken up by Red Todd Kidd a half hour later informing me that the fire thing was kinda important. I ignored him and went back to sleep. When I woke up the next morning the smoke was thick enough in the air that you could look directly at the sun, just like in 2004. After dropping off RTK at work I snapped this picture of the sunrise from the gas station right by my apartment (it was $3.01 for regular that day, I wish it would go back to that, I payed 3.11 the other day). Have you ever had the opportunity to look directly at the sun? It's absurdly strange. I find that I have a fundamental urge to shield my eyes even though there's no need. I've never seen a sunrise that looked so much like a sunset as that one, early in the morning the sky was purple instead of brown with ash and smoke, that came later. You wouldn't think the sun could look so small and insignificant as this but there it is. This one was taken at about 3pm on October 22, directly over my apartment. The sky was orange almost all day, about an hour after this you couldn't even see the sun anymore because the smoke was too thick. It was an entire day of otherworldly, dingy twilight like being in some steampunk novel with ash raining out of the sky for several days and starting to collect on anything that was still, like I imagine snow probably does. Postapocalyptic San Diego. So there you have it, a day in the life of a smoke filled sky.

Taking my advice from webcomics

Chances are if you're actually reading my blog you've probably seen this comic strip. I've decided to take the advice of the charming net nerd in the last frame and started up a scarf. Not even a new one, one I've already done before. You see, I need a confidence builder after the unmitigated disaster that was the Victorian Lace Today Cap Shawl. It was truly disgusting what I did to that poor yarn. As a matter of fact, I should get rid of the yarn altogether so I'm not tempted to try again. Seriously, I need like, a lace-weight intervention or something. So now I'm working on a Wavy in a deep and mysterious forest green. It's far more mysterious than in my totally pro photo at left. It's like Darkest Africa. That's what I would call it if I got to name the colors. But I don't get to name the colors so it'a actually called 'Shade 220' which just doesn't have that same ring to it. It looks viney. Is viney a word? My spell check says, "No," but I don't care what my spell check has to say about it. Shut up spell check! Stop trying to tell me how to live my life, you computers don't own me yet! I'm still free, the robots will never take me alive! Wow, this is some good coffee this morning. What was I talking about? Ah, yes, the scarf. I'm committing a cardinal knitting sin on this one. Not only am I knitting this for someone who asked me to make them a scarf BUT ALSO it's for a guy I've never actually met. I justify this because I've spoken to him on the phone many times and he entertains the hell out of me and if GK will vouch for him (he's his roommate, hence how I sorta phone-met the guy) then he's got to be a good guy. In any case he's getting a scarf since he was really excited about the one I sent GK some months ago. I do like to be flattered. I think this project will go a little better than my other recent ones. In a bit of divine providence I accidentally chose a color the guy really likes. Okay, I've got to stop calling him 'the guy', I mean I'm knitting for him he should get a name right? Uh... Hercules. So I'm knitting Hercules a scarf. Awesome. The yarn for this is really fantastic. It's a machine washable (it's for a guy, I have no illusions about how it will be treated) wool blend. SKR Perth, it's 70% merino and 30% acrylic and you can put it in the dryer! It's really soft, squishy, and the stitch definition is great. I'm totally in love with the stuff. And finally does anyone read and write well in Greek? I could use a bit of assistance with something...

I made stuff. Lots of stuff.

My road trip dissolved into the ether of unrealized dreams. Alas, it was not to be. So anyway, I actually do knit. In fact my lack of blogging has been because of a tremendous amount of knitting. As evidence I will now submit pictures of what I've been up to as well as a few pictures of FOs I hadn't gotten around to posting for some odd reason even though I finished them MONTHS ago. As always, click on the pictures for larger versions. First up we have Unbiased done in Patons Soy Wool Stripes that was a gift for Irie for her graduation. I have made Unbiased twice before in sari silk and have yet to really perfect this pattern. I have intentions to line this for Irie at my earliest convenience which will be sometime around 2022 when Lola graduates from high school. Anywho, the vital stats: Patons SWS. Britany Birch needles in size 8. Pattern alterations: Only increased to 5.5 inches so I'd have a narrower deeper bag. I actually did the whole purse in two days, in between casting off Entrelac's first sock and casting on the second. Lastly, when you seem this up in the weird order that I did you actually get something that looks like a giant goofy bra for a minute. Next up we have the Socks I'm knitting for Entrelac (Pattern from Folk Socks by Nancy Bush). I have finished the first one and am starting to panic that they don't fit so the sock you see here will be wining its way out to Texas for a fitting to ease my mind or make me cry depending on the outcome. At least it's cute, right? It's my first bit of Fair Isle type work and I'm in no hurry do do anything more ambitious. I'm very pleased with the way the first one has turned out and I'm hoping Entrelac really likes them when they're all done. She and I both live in the country's "No Sock Zone" but knitted socks are just too tempting. I love contrasting toes, they make your feet look smaller. And now the last two little projects I had been forgetting to post: Dashing and My So Called Scarf (which I have had bookmarked for years with nary the right yarn nor occasion) both out of Lorna's Laces Shepard Worsted in Mineshaft and both for my friend GK. I actually knit these up for him when he was going through a really hard time and had no heat in his house (he's in Pennsylvania). By the time I finished them it was spring and he had heat again. I've had these stuffed in a care package box that I keep forgetting to finish filling and mail. If only it were the thought that counted, eh? The scarf was done on size 11 Britany birch needles and only one glaring error was made. I didn't fix it so if you feel like it you can stare until you find it, it'll be like a really uninteresting Where's Waldo picture only instead of a cute drawing you're searching for my failure! Who could deny the fun of that? The wristies were done on Clover bamboo needles in size 7. I actually finished these up at the San Diego knitty meet up. Pomegranate has pics of them somewhere I think, I had forgotten my camera. I apologize for the shitty photos. I know pics of FOs just lying about really suck but I have no model today, Iman didn't show up and they gave Tyra her own show and I just didn't feel like trying to track down Kate Moss or Fabio because she's annoying and he's always trying to take stuff from the shoots.

More things Garrison Keilor says

Nothing like a superbaby to bring a smile to your face and say, "Yeah, when the aliens come to turn us all into slaves he will probably be good breeding stock." GK:Did I ever tell you about your myspace pic? *shakes head* Very unflattering, it's almost like poop on celluoid. Me: Thanks for the comment on my myspace pic, I always enjoy being told how poor I look in pictures. Every woman does. GK: I think I need to challange Kaylee to a hell in the cell match to prove my dominace to my woman. Me: You know Kaylee could just put her hand on your forehead and keep you out of arm's reach, right? GK: Ok enough about my height, I will not be mocked about my height, especially from a dark haired Polly Pocket. Meh, I can't tell trailer trash from zombies, that's why the deep south scares me so much. It's like a long forgotten friend, when you finally stand in front of said friend all you want to do is hug and grope them, patting them on the back in an awkward fashion. GK:*chuckles* Yeah, winter gets cold here. Then this white stuff starts to fall from the sky and I swear it's like the world is coming to an end. Me: White stuff? I've heard about that. They call it show or something right? GK: No, in my lands its called the white death. Me: So perhaps you should consider one of the bright shining lands to the south where that doesn't happen. GK: Hah! The south is full of the soft! All that sun breeds in weakness! Me: Yeah people are always remarking on the incredible weakness that is me. GK: Well you are of the weaker sex... so you are not totally to blame. But your hips are good for breeding, so there is some reedemable value there. Me: Yeah, women with all their bleeding and child bearing and putting up with men's crap, total wimps. Ok... but I still feel the internet is for sharing porn.

You can't take us anywhere.

I have no knitting to show off today. I need to finish the Clown College (aka Auspicious Coincidences) Sweater by Sunday but I hate working on it so I have no idea if that will happen. I've been adding an inch to the sleeves for the past two days but that means they're only 3" long now. Too many ends. Never again! Since I have no knitting to speak of I'll tell you about my weekend in Maryland a few weeks ago. I went out to visit my friend Tonka who's going through a hellish divorce. The blonde in the picture with him is his cousin who for the duration of this story shall be known as Syrrah (she's from Texas, as is Tonka) because throught the story I'd like to tell she was hammered, though you could probably tell by the fact that she's trying to do bunny ears on him from like 25 feet away. Anyway, on Saturday night Tonka decided we should all just drink. That was the plan. I am not good at adhering to any plan no matter how simple. In order to foul up this very simple evening I got another friend of ours who lives one state over to drive down and hang out with us, Garrison Keillor (so called because of his very soothing almost condecending NPR type of voice). That in and of itself didn't ruin Tonka's evening in the bottle, it was the fact that GK arrived hungry thus forcing us all to go eat something which involves driving, an activity that is notoriously incompatable with drinking. Well, Kaylee (a lightweight) and Syrrah had both had a few drinks before we left and Syrrah only weighs about 12 pounds so she was tipsy, add to that some kind of fruity pink drink at the restaurant and you have a recipe for entertainment value. Especially at the place we went to: a Japanese Hibachi place where the chef cooks the food at your table. If you haven't been to a place of this type I'll describe it for you: The hibachi table sort of 'C' shaped and the chef stands inside of it at the grill which is a stainless steel sheet. Around the outside edge is a counter/bar where the patrons sit. There was room at our table for eight people, since there were only five of us another (unfortunate) couple had been seated at the other end. The chef will make all of the food with great showmanship, spinning and cracking eggs with his (butcher's) knife and chopping up an onion and stacking it so it looks like a volcano (they spray something flamamble in it and fire shoots out the top). Seating chart: Veggie Lady, Veggie Man, empty seat, Kaylee, GK, Me, Syrrah, Tonka So we're all sitting at this table with some people we've never met and come to find out that the couple is vegetarian and won't eat anything that touches our food because it ours has meat in it. Kaylee mocked those people for the rest of the night. I'm not sure whether or not they heard her. Now you as readers of my blog, know that I can be an asshole, what you don't know is that Kaylee is never like that. She's sweet and wonderful and generally the kind of person that you want to hate for her multi-multitalented ability to do absolutely anything but you can't hate her because she's just so damn wonderful. It would seem that hard cider really takes care of that because she was just merciless with her comments all night. Made funnier by the fact that she was using a poor stage whisper to say them which I couldn't hear since she was on the side I don't hear well from so then GK had to repeat it all for me. Meanwhile, Syrrah is sucking down her fruity pink drink. As the chef, a terse but otherwise pleasant Japanese man, finished up our food and packed up his cart to move on to the next table Syrrah says to him, "Uno mas onion volcano!" in her flat voweled Texan accent. The confused chef looks at her bows his head and keeps going so she shouts after him, "UNO MAS!" and continutes to shout it about three or four more times as he walked away prompting me to turn to her and remind her that he probably doesn't speak Spanish as GK and I laugh uncontrollably. For the rest of the night we randomly shouted out "UNO MAS!" whenever things were getting dull and started cracking up all over again. After dinner we gathered at Tonka's place for the drinking to commence and ended up playing Asshole, a drinking card game which no ammount of explaination could make Syrrah understand. I won't go into the specifics of the game but if you've played it you know about the ranks and everything. She was the asshole for most of the game and just couldn't stop running her mouth to the President. I think she went and passed out at like 9:30. And that's what I did on my summer vacation.

Things Garrison Keillor says:

This is Garrison Keillor*. He makes me laugh. Here are some things he has said to me... GK: The player of Big McHugelarge is likeable and huggable... at least that's what my mom says. Me: Well, she's your mom, she's not objective. Hell, my mom says I'm sweet. GK: What are these crazy women thinking? You know we can just look at our parents and we know, we truly know, that no matter we'll say the same of our kids. Me: Of course. GK: Unless [his child's name] kills a bus load of nuns. Then I'm going on the evening news and telling everyone she's nuttier then squirrel shit. Me: I'd probably be on the evening news saying, "I know that Lola Beans killed a busload of nuns but I'm sure she had a really good reason. You see the nuns weren't real nuns, they were spies disguised as nuns. Or something..." GK: Those tricky spies. the only way you can see their true forms is through the cleansing fire. Me: "They were evil WERENUNS!!!"..."No I really don't think her upbringing had anything to do with this, why do you ask?" "Did religion steal your bike? religion stole mine. It tired to tell me that if I wanted to go anywhere I would need to "ride" on the back with him, I told him to shove it and that I would walk." "I can't read.... actually I'm dictating to a monkey right now." "I'm a special one. That guy in the car with the candy would always tell me that." Me: Is it 10 am yet? I need a drink.... lol, j/k GK: It is for me! Me: It's only 9 here. GK: It's almost 12 for me, hey I'm married now! "Just screaming at the injustice of my own child thinking I'm a salty snack." Me: Me joking? That's unheard of! GK: *nods* yeah, you're right. I keep forgetting how bad you are at that simple human pastime. We need to do something about that.... isn't your model of terminator able to learn if we enter through your cranial port to your CPU and turn the direction it's inserted? "Asking totally random question: You think it was too much when I stabbed Sy in the ass with a piece of wood?" "...hey udder is a pretty word. Much like cellar door." "Ha! your's is smaller then mine!" "I'm going to cry like a flat chested girl.... I'm sensitive, you aren't suppose to judge me!" "As you well know, I was the crying indian in the commercial." Garrison Keillor is great. Following the new trend in child naming, he plans to name his new kid, Nu C'yd. *Clearly he isn't the real Garrison Keillor, this is only a nickname given for the purposes of my blog.