Ru-Paul and Other Distractions. (Blogstalking week 4 AND 5)

I hate traffic, my filthy windshield, and sunrise. Now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, let me tell you about what I love. What I love is things that are completely random. Like this weekend. This was a hella random weekend. Friday night I was out with Lucky. It was an entire night devoted to driving around to creepy places. Those creepy places included the most enormous cemetery ever to go completely unnoticed by everyone I've asked about it. This place is HUGE. I can't even begin to explain the extreme largeness. As a matter of fact it's actually two cemeteries that sort of run into each other and three mausoleums. One of the mausoleums is a three story building that at first we thought couldn't possibly be what it was, it was just too big. The other two are smaller two story deals though smaller is a completely relative term, they're still larger than most suburban apartment complexes in this area. The thing that's so crazy random about the place is that it's on two main roads and yet no one seems to know it's there. We also hit up an apartment building that Lucky says would be his top choice for locations to shoot a slasher flick in. I agree, the place is like a tiny Winchester mansion. The stairs alone are just bizarre (two sets right next to each other that never intersect and you can't see one from the other but they lead to the exact same spot) then you throw in exterior walls on the inside of the building, a rickety fire escape, all the blind corners (and by that I mean all the corners are blind corners, I bet it makes moving in and out a bitch) a great view of the city, and the fact that you never see any of the residents of the place and you've got yourself a movie. I wish I had thought to bring my camera but that's the theme of the weekend, randomness and me kicking myself for forgetting the camera. Saturday we went to the barber shop and they invited us to their anniversary shindig that night. Red Todd Kidd and I tried to find a sitter but couldn't so he bade me take up with Kaylee and go forth to this rockabilly show. So we did. Adventure ensued. First we went to the Tower Bar where this thing was taking place. They were playing the most campy and strange D-movies on the tv in the corner, almost everyone in the place was drinking tall boys of PBR, and the whole place looked like a casting call for West Side Story 2 (Which I'm sure would have the same basic plot as West Side Story except it'd be set in present day and the tension would be between hardcore rockabilly kids and apathetic emo hipsters fighting over who gets to be pretentious in the town's diviest dive bar. Then one pretty little cutting emo girl in horn rim glasses with no prescription and an outfit that probably cost $300 trying to get it to look like it came from a thrift store locks eyes with a vintage car driving, leather jacket wearing, James Dean wannabe who clearly spends most of his time on ebay looking for vintage pomade to rock in his pompadour and doomed romance blooms, I hate to spoil the ending for you but they both die, she slits her wrists with one of his vintage Elvis records then he puts her dead body in the car with him and drives off a cliff). Kaylee and I sat there, sat there, sat there, watched a reenactment of the Outsiders when a rumble broke out just near the door, sat there, sat there, sat there, got drinks spilled on us, sat there, sat there, and sat there. Since after all that sitting the band STILL hadn't gone on and it was damn near midnight, we took off. We had a mind to head to this piano bar Kaylee's been talking about but we never made it there. You see, we got caught up in a weird midnight traffic fiasco that was being caused by some random side street being blocked off. As we were stopped we heard an amplified voice ring out through the night, "Yes, hello everyone! I'm Ru-Paul Superstar of the world!" (or whatever the hell that catchphrase of his is) and we decided we had to find out if it was really him. So we parked around the corner and wandered back to discover some charity event drag show with Ru-Paul on stage in a wig he'd clearly gotten at Dolly Parton's last yard sale and more pink sequins than I thought existed this side of Key West. Spectacular. Truly. But we were hungry and our curiosity was sated so we left and stumbled on to a little 24 hour diner where we spent the next hour eating the most awesome sandwiches and talking to three complete strangers about porn among other things. After that I was drunk dialed by The Cowardly Lion who simply read me the definition of drunk dialing followed by the definition of a booty call. So we went over to his house and hung out with him and his wives for a little bit. Yes, I said wives, they've been watching too much Big Love over there. Sunday was for geocaching with the family which was pretty cool, actually. RTK's been on me to try it out for awhile so we got a GPS and went and did one. The kids loved it. I'd go into more detail but my fingers may fall off from all the typing. I'll blog some pics of that another day. Anyway, the three things I love (in case you don't get the pictures): October, my daughter trying to throw up the horns, and National City Municipal Code 11.68.050 which prohibits "cruising" and leads to those goofy signs all up and down Highland Avenue, it always cracks me up. Also you'll see my blogstalking week 5 assignment which requires I photograph a statue. I found this copse of angels quite by accident in the aforementioned giant cemetery when Lucky and I went back Sunday afternoon. Technically you're not supposed to photograph people's headstones but I cropped out the ones you could read. The statues stand out because the whole area they're in is plain as hell except this group of statues all crowded together like some sort of saint convention.

I made stuff. Lots of stuff.

My road trip dissolved into the ether of unrealized dreams. Alas, it was not to be. So anyway, I actually do knit. In fact my lack of blogging has been because of a tremendous amount of knitting. As evidence I will now submit pictures of what I've been up to as well as a few pictures of FOs I hadn't gotten around to posting for some odd reason even though I finished them MONTHS ago. As always, click on the pictures for larger versions. First up we have Unbiased done in Patons Soy Wool Stripes that was a gift for Irie for her graduation. I have made Unbiased twice before in sari silk and have yet to really perfect this pattern. I have intentions to line this for Irie at my earliest convenience which will be sometime around 2022 when Lola graduates from high school. Anywho, the vital stats: Patons SWS. Britany Birch needles in size 8. Pattern alterations: Only increased to 5.5 inches so I'd have a narrower deeper bag. I actually did the whole purse in two days, in between casting off Entrelac's first sock and casting on the second. Lastly, when you seem this up in the weird order that I did you actually get something that looks like a giant goofy bra for a minute. Next up we have the Socks I'm knitting for Entrelac (Pattern from Folk Socks by Nancy Bush). I have finished the first one and am starting to panic that they don't fit so the sock you see here will be wining its way out to Texas for a fitting to ease my mind or make me cry depending on the outcome. At least it's cute, right? It's my first bit of Fair Isle type work and I'm in no hurry do do anything more ambitious. I'm very pleased with the way the first one has turned out and I'm hoping Entrelac really likes them when they're all done. She and I both live in the country's "No Sock Zone" but knitted socks are just too tempting. I love contrasting toes, they make your feet look smaller. And now the last two little projects I had been forgetting to post: Dashing and My So Called Scarf (which I have had bookmarked for years with nary the right yarn nor occasion) both out of Lorna's Laces Shepard Worsted in Mineshaft and both for my friend GK. I actually knit these up for him when he was going through a really hard time and had no heat in his house (he's in Pennsylvania). By the time I finished them it was spring and he had heat again. I've had these stuffed in a care package box that I keep forgetting to finish filling and mail. If only it were the thought that counted, eh? The scarf was done on size 11 Britany birch needles and only one glaring error was made. I didn't fix it so if you feel like it you can stare until you find it, it'll be like a really uninteresting Where's Waldo picture only instead of a cute drawing you're searching for my failure! Who could deny the fun of that? The wristies were done on Clover bamboo needles in size 7. I actually finished these up at the San Diego knitty meet up. Pomegranate has pics of them somewhere I think, I had forgotten my camera. I apologize for the shitty photos. I know pics of FOs just lying about really suck but I have no model today, Iman didn't show up and they gave Tyra her own show and I just didn't feel like trying to track down Kate Moss or Fabio because she's annoying and he's always trying to take stuff from the shoots.

Clown College and disturbing Instruxions

I have finished my nephew's sweater. It's Auspicious Coincidences from Compassionate knitting but I have taken to calling it the Clown College Sweater because of all the orange. So much orange. Since orange makes my sister happy though, I'm happy with it. The buttons once again are courtesy of the UK knitty that sent me lots of buttons, Suzzane. I like the way they look, sort of subdued compared to the riot that is the rest of this thing. I had planned to put six different buttons on it from my collection but thought better of it and used these simple wooden ones. Pattern: Auspicious Coincidences. Yarn: Odd balls of Sugar and Cream Cotton leftover from the Christmas Dishcloths. Needles: Clover/Takumi Size 7 bamboo 24" circs for the body and the same brand but DPNs ( I put point protectors on the ends and used them like straight needles) for the fronts. Addi Turbo size 5s for the trim. Adjustments: The fronts match and the sleeves match though the pattern calls for randomness. This is because I was too lazy to be random. Things I learned from this pattern: Knitting in ends sucks almost as much as weaving in ends. I stull suck at finishing work as you can see from the fact that the stripes don't line up in the front. I don't ever feel the need to make this sweater again. Too hard. Actually it's all very simple and boring, it's just that all those endslead to me wanting to scream and scream and then scream some more. I'm just really glad to be done with this thing. And now I'd like to leave you with this insanity. I got lunch at Rally's yesterday and this weirdness was on the side of the bag. I'm not sure what to be concerned about out by most, the fact that they advise you to cram a cat in a fast food bag, that they feel the need to emphasize that you should use YOUR cat, or that they spelled 'instructions' with an X. And just so you know when you get the cat in the bag it looks like it's wearing a basketball jersey and gold necklaces. It's all very disturbing. It would seem that they invite you to submit and view these pictures at a website devoted to something I'm sure PETA has problems with. That is the randomness of the week.