Yes, we have no bananas.

The conversation I just witnessed, to preface, Lola wanted a banana for breakfast and was told they were all gone. Darth: I'm gonna tell you a joke Lola, okay? Lola: Okay. Darth: Knock-knock. Lola: Who's there? Darth: Banana. Lola: No Darth, bananas all gone! Darth: No, you say, "Banana who?" Lola: Okay. Darth: Knock-knock. Lola: Who's there? Darth: Banana. Lola: Banana who? Darth: Knock-knock. Lola: Who's there? Darth: Banana. Lola: No! Bananas all gone! I can't wait until they learn "Who's on First". So anyway, things are chugging along here. I finished the dishcloths, the scarf, and my mom's necklace badge holder thingy. All that's left is the last half of SIL's second glove and a cup warmer for her boyfriend. I am so close. I wonder what disaster lurks just ahead to confound and destroy me. A plague of moths, perhaps? Our state breaking off the continent and drifting away into the Pacific? The zombie uprising I've been dreading for so long? I can't say what it will be but I know it's coming. It lurks outside my view in wait of the time when I cast off that last project to smite me. I know it. Ahem. In other news: I bought Mason-Dixon Knitting and returned it. I love it, I can't recommend it enough. I just needed that $30 more. I'll buy it when I have a 40% off coupon for Michael's. I don't know why but for the last couple years I've been compelled to make rugs. I haven't given in just yet but Mason-Dixon makes me really want to give in. Really. I'm rushing through the last of the holiday knitting so I can attempt my first crochet project. A little purse in One Skein. The rectangle one for those who have the book. I don't know why I'm so in love with it but I actually bought a hook. I promise I won't go over to the dark side, you all know how much I hate to crochet. Lastly, I realize that there are only 14 dishcloths on the tree. That's because I already gave my mom hers.

How much I hate crochet:

I hate it so much that even though I bought one of those comfort hooks and am becoming fairly proficiant, I'd rather attempt to make a doily than a granny square. Evidence of this is to the left. You see I've been hammering out those Bandwagon discloths, one after another, for the last couple weeks. I'm a distracted person with not much time to knit so thus far I've only done eight. When I started the ninth one I realized the colors I had chosen were too close (the blue you see there and another light veriagated blue) and thus the resulting dishcloth was stupid looking. I decided to try another pattern rather than go buy more yarn (hooray for my budget!) but was faced with the question of what pattern to try. Well, when you have a good 18 balls of Sugar and Cream lying around you're bound to find at least one discloth pattern on a ball band. I found four: two knit (one ugly, one not), two crochet (one hideous, one granny square). I was then faced with a choice like unto Sophie's. Knit a doily discloth, something that looked hard and that I've never even attepmted anything like or crochet a granny square. The mere thought of crocheting a whole project nearly sent me into convultions so I cast on eight stitches and into the circle I went. As you can see it went well. I was dang proud of that thing when I was done. I have to do a second one which doesn't exactly thrill me but it is a nice break from the Bandwagon cloths (they're like crack, I swear, you just can't put them down). The funny thing is, when I looked at the finished one I realized that somewhere in storage I have a doily that is done in the same (albeit much finer) style. Beautifully knit in teeny-tiny laceweight cotton thread, it's a star pattern just like that with a fantastic edging that's all pointy. One of my exes had a grandmother who knit amazing lace and that "simple" doily was something that took her an afternoon of boredom. She gave it to me when I was first learning to knit because I was so amazed at the tiny needles she used to make it. Anyway, I'm making progress on my Christmas knitting. Nine dishcloths down, seven to go (notice how the number grew?). I also have one pair of gloves and the Red Todd Kidd project which is likely to be back burnered since it's a time consuming one and I don't think I'll be able to start it in time. Sigh.

Holiday Knitting

Can two other words inspire panic, anxiety, loathing, and procrastination in a knitter so much as the two that title today's post? I think not. I took full advantage of the hella phat yarn sale at Michael's a few weeks back to stock up on cotton yarn ($1 per ball!) for those Bandwagon -er- Ballband Dishcloths. Many thanks to TurtleGirl for pointing me in the direction of this pattern in an online form rather than in a $30 book (that I now covet). The whole point of this insanity is to bring the cost of Christmas to a minimum this year instead of being broke until the end of February as in years past. Whoever is on my list as a "must" is getting a pair of matcing dishcloths. My cost $2 and, of course, time. I'll make up some little goofy limerick about how simplicity and effort are what the holidays are about so as to shame the recipiants into not making a face at the gifts and voila, my wallet is saved. I'm not just being cheap mind you, this is really all we can afford, it's just that I'm facing up to that this year instead of buying stuff I can't afford anyway. As you can see from my picture there, I've completed four of the ten planned dishcloths and have started a fifth. Also you may notice that I appear to knit in a lightless cave. I assure you this last bit is untrue, it's just a trick of the flash, or lack thereof, so that I didn't end up with another washed out photo. I couldn't show the items in natural light today as there was very little of it, overcast as the day was here by the shore. You probably will not notice that I did a crochet edging around these things and added a little loop so they can be hung up to dry. That's right, I did a crochet edging. Me. And it only took me HOURS to do that first one. The second one took fewer hours. The last two I managed to do today (the edgings, not the entire dishcloths plus edgings, I'm not The Flash or anything) and it's only 5:42pm as I write this. Crochet still confounds me and I'm certain I'm doing it wrong but it did neaten up the edges a bit and if it looks bad, well, they're only going to be scrubbing the meatloaf out of the pan anyway, right? I've mentally commited myself (and not to the asylum, hee-hee) to doing a few more of these if time allows, as well as some sort of gloves for my SIL. I was going to knit socks for my MIL but have decided to do these for her birthday since she's requested a new photo album for her pictures of the kids. I have a super secret project lined up for Red Todd Kidd but since he claims to read this drivvel, I can't tell you about it. I also don't know that I'll have time to do it since making anything for him is rather arduous since I lag on it. I just never think he'll like what I'm making (and have little evidence to the contrary).