Thursday, July 06, 2006

My nightmare

Last night I dreamed about sewing. I may have mentioned buying a sewing pattern a while back. It took three weeks to get here but it finally arrived. I started cutting out the GAZILLION pieces yesterday. As I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph, I even dreamed about it last night. I'm sure you know why: I HATE sewing. And yet, once again I've been compelled to embark on some large scale, disasterous, project involving skills I don't have (and in this case tools I've never even seen) because I'm a cheap bastard.

I know, I know, the knitty Fru-Gal ladies of Cheapass SP would say that this insanity is a beneficial quality. Some crafters would say that handmade stuff is better because it's made with love. You readers would say that you love it when I decide to do crazy crap like make shoes because my fury amuses you. All of those things are fine I suppose but I just wonder why I feel compelled to spend rediculous amounts of time on doing things myself when I could have purchased what I needed for not much more than I ended up spending on materials. I'm just glad I'm using recycled fabric, if I had bought new I'd be in the mire so deep I couldn't see the sun. I thought knitting was expensive but hot damn! And I didn't even buy the expensive velcro stuff nor did I get any PUL.

So what am I making, you ask? Cloth diapers. I know, at this point you're saying, "WHY!? Your smallest kid is two! You really have lost it, lady," but you'd be wrong. And no I'm not knocked up, thanks so much for wondering. The reason I'm doing this is because my two year old is about ready to use the potty and anyone who has tried to potty train (or "assist in potty learning" for the granola moms out there, a category which Red Todd Kidd is continually insisting I belong to) a kid in the last 10 years knows that super absorbant disposable diapers and ESPECIALLY Pull-Ups (or Easy-Ups, or whatever) impede the learning process drastically. With my son it wasn't until I took them away entirely that he even thought about using the potty. I'm not doing that again.

The problem is that you can't get decent training pants anymore. Gerber makes some pretty flimsy ones that are good once the kid is pretty well done learning but what the hell are you supposed to do in the mean time? Let the kid pee on the sofa? I had a cat thast did that I'm not doing that again either. So I decided to make something. Something out of cloth so she can tell when she's wet and won't like it much but that will hold in the pee so I don't have to buy a bottle of that "Urine Gone" they advertise on tv at 3am. Sounds like a cloth diaper to me, how about you?

Figuring this out I started pricing them and came across a site that sold "recycled diapers" made from old jeans and t-shirts. I was totally sold. I ordered the pattern and even started dreaming of buying the cottege industry licensing because, as you may know, I'm a psychotic masochist who feels the need to do as much sewing as possible because I hate it and don't know what I'm doing.

Then I asked everyone I know to clean out their closets because this takes a LOT of t-shirts. I ended up with two laundry baskets AND a big bag full of old clothes that I had to cut up before I could cut them up. I'd also like to mention that the person who wrote the pattern doesn't know how to get the most from her fabric. I was only supposed to get like four liners out of each polar fleece sweatshirt but I managed five each. Though I didn't get as many covers out of the jeans since I'm doing the largest size and my pant legs weren't always big enough.But I digress, the point I was trying to make is that I spent about five hours cutting shit out and still have about five hours of cutting shit out to go. I assure you this is not my favorite part especially since the thumb numbing craft scissors incedint back in May, which by the way the sensation still hasn't fully come back in my thumb but I have been assured it will eventually.

Where the hell was I going with all of this? I don't remember so I'll just sum up: I'm cheap, sewing is bad, potty training is hard, Pull-Ups are bad, cutting stuff out sucks, I still have a crap ton of work to do, the end.

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Comments on "My nightmare"


Blogger turtlegirl76 said ... (7/06/2006 10:09 AM) : 

Um. This may be the first craft project I DON'T want to see modeled after. heh.


Blogger cpurl17 said ... (7/06/2006 3:35 PM) : 

but you look so cute in your braids!

(not helping, am I?)


Blogger Rain said ... (7/07/2006 3:12 AM) : 


Sorry. I can't stop laughing. Even when you're pissed off you're funny. I heartily agree that sewing sucks, but you'll get the hang of it. You'd better hurry up or you may need that Urine Gone after all.


Blogger Penny Karma said ... (7/07/2006 6:37 AM) : 

I love you. Angry people are so much funnier than happy people.

Pull-Ups are indeed the work of the Devil. So are the little potty seats that play music when the little tot pees in it. Sooner or later, they figure out the concept of Motion Sensitivity and they throw their toys in there instead.

Clearly my children have inherited my Diabolical Genius gene.


Anonymous glittrgirl said ... (7/07/2006 9:08 AM) : 

Go Do Go! It will be worth it in the end, and if it isn't you can console yourself that your exploits have entertained us :D Muchly.


Blogger brewerburns said ... (7/07/2006 10:00 AM) : 

That sounds like a really neat project. And by neat I mean mind-numbingly boring but: cheap and incredibly useful when finished. The good news is that sewing is a lot faster than knitting. Happy crafting!


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