Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Knitting, erotica, and battery operated device instructions.

I haven't really been knitting so I haven't really been posting. I'm on to my current hobby of writing trashy sex stories just for the hell of it. As Christmas encroaches I'm certain the tawdriness will succumb to the needles and I'll be knitting up a storm of last minute gifts since most people on my list won't want short stories about quivering loins and whatnot.

The NaNoWriMo challenge was brought up today and I don't know if I'm really up for it. Why, oh why do they have to do that thing in November? I really want to do it but I don't think I've got a novel in me. A bunch of short stories on the same theme counts right? Right?

I'm too concise for novels. I'm condensed like Campbell's soup. Maybe I should write operating manuals for things. For instance:

Using Your New Universal Remote
1) Using tab, pry open battery compartment located on the underside of remote.
2) Insert batteries according to instructional diagram. If you get confused, throw away remote and ask someone to call the home for stupid people for you since you likely can't operate a telephone either.
3) Replace plastic cover.
4) Enjoy television bliss.

Wow, I'm good.

Comments on "Knitting, erotica, and battery operated device instructions."


Blogger OldLadyPenPal said ... (9/20/2006 5:17 PM) : 

is there a way to infiltrate, to sign up under one name but secretly have a team of writers? surely you could embelish your remote instructions with "her thick auburn hair danced across her shoulders and waved against her bosom as she pried the battery-slot cover off with her long, sharp fingernail that had moments ago left its mark down his back during a passionate embrace over the tool chest." right? right?


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