Preparing for The Feast

Any Sealab 2021 fans out there? Preperations are being made for the second annual Feast of Alvis around here. That being a "ham and liquor hootinany" (in the words of Quinn anyway) that celebrates the twin virtues of Alvis: drinking and revenge. ("'Vengence is mine!' Quoth Alvis. Then he shot that guy right in the freaking face." -Murphy) You see, last year in a Christmas backlash a few freinds and I decided to throw a Feast of Alvis after seeing the Sealab episode of the same name. As it ended up there was neither ham nor pomp (and for poor Lucky* there was also no liquor but I'll get to that in a minute) but there was a gift exchange. A gift exchange that we have named the Hate Gift Exchange. Here's how it works: everyone draws a name (there are eight of us, three couples and two single guys that we tease by calling a couple) of a person they are to get a Hate Gift for. The only rules on the name drawing is that you can't get the same person two years in a row and that couples can't get each other's names. After you've gotten your name you set out to get that person something that will completely piss them off or humilliate them. We're such a nice group of people aren't we? Last years highlights included: -My good buddy Lucky who loves to drink (and had his childhood cat put to sleep earlier that day, poor guy) was given a six pack of O'Douls (a non-alcoholic beer) that he was required to finish before being allowed to drink anything fun. -Napoleon* who had lost his job that week was given a "Career Start-up Kit" that was really just a box of that crappy gum that the little kids in Mexico sell. -Fuzzy Tail* was given the last picture in the series you can see throughout this entry in a frame. In front of Napoleon. Now I'll take a second to explain the pictures. Napoleon and Fuzzy Tail had a breif fling but remained good friends. One day, months before the Feast of Alvis, she emailed me a picture of Napoleon in her front yard with the caption, "My garden gnome" because Napoleon is rather on the short side. I laughed, drew a hat on him and sent it back. This went on for several hours ending with that last picture. She told me I could never-ever metion this to Napoleon because she didn't want to tick him off. I agreed never to say anything to him or show him the picture. Instead I framed it and let her do it. I'm such a good friend. This year promises to be equally if not more spectacular. We've added two more people to the gift exchange and hopefully this year there will be ham. *Some names have been changed to protect the not-so innocent. Or because I found it funny.