Stuff I typed

I'm done with this blog.

2008-06-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

No more DomesticOverlord, I'm done with that.

I so totally finished something.

2008-06-09T19:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I hauled ass on this scarf... for the last two days. I suddenly had a burning need for completion and, voila! Wavy is finally done. It has taken me so long that the intended recipient, Hercules, is actually making his second trip out here since I started it pretty soon. Okay, next month but hey, at least I finished it before he got here, right?

I really, really love this yarn (SKR Perth). It's machine washable, super soft, and squishy. It also comes in fantastic colors, though not as many as it really should once you take it's awesomeness into account.

I've been sewing lately since the purchase of my new machine. I love the machine it rocks. I've made a bunch of costumes for the kids for a trip I won't tell you about because of the suicidal depression and unbridled rage it will inspire. I've made myself a dress. And I made a new messenger bag for the world's largest woman since the only one who wouldn't look ridiculous carrying it would be her. And even still she might find it a bit much. Stupid pattern, it looked fine in pieces but then it just GREW.

I'm trying to finish up things that are just lying around here, like the Wavy. I'm on to the little sweater for the barber's baby now. I'd put it down for a mistake I made in the eyelets 10 rows previously and can't fix without ripping. Clearly, I'm not ready for a lace shawl like, ever. Kids always distracting me so I end up with shirts with only one armhole and whatnot. They better put me into a damn good home later for all I've put up with. This week they both broke their glasses. BOTH! He snapped his in half and she tried to eat hers. Thank me (yes me) I bought the warranty.

So hey, remember me? I knit sometimes.

2008-04-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

I had a brilliant blog post all written out in my head last night, you think I can even remember a word of it now? Hell, I don't even remember what it was about.

This is my first completed project of this year. Twinkletoes from knitty. Miss Beans asked me for some ballet shoes last weekend and being totally broke but having a ton of the yarn you see there (from my failed Crumpets, if you're my one long time reader) I whipped up those little babies on Friday evening and Saturday afternoon while hanging around in the ninth bolgie of the eighth circle of Hell (also known as Chuck E. Cheese's).

They turned out cute but a little small so I'll have to make another pair. She loves them though, she's barely taken them off to let me wash them and has even slept in them twice.

In other knitting news: I received a large portion of Andean Treasure for my birthday which will become a Tangled Yoke Cardigan. I'm still working on that damn Wavy for Hercules because I hate it and don't want to do it anymore. Why do scarves have to be so l o n g ? I'm working on a little baby set for the soon-to-be-baby-girl of RTK and Darth's barber who is a very cool guy. If you're in San Diego and need a barber, I can't recommend Lefty's enough.

As far as news about my life... Well, it's never pretty, is it? My son got glasses so that's both kids are in glasses now. Neither RTK nor I wear glasses so we're a little baffled as to how that worked out. Our rent is going up so along with the price of gas and groceries we could really use a raise we're not going to get. You'll probably see me on the news when my moneymaking scheme goes horribly, terribly wrong.

That's about it for the moment. Except, I've been collecting yarn for the Alpaca Lounge Pants and I think I've almost got enough. If I start them soon they should be ready for Autumn.

Sewing disaster averted.

2008-03-13T09:17:00.001-07:00

You know how I can't sew? How the thought of sewing makes me cringe? How whenever I have to do it (even though I usually volunteer) I complain and complain about it? Well, not today. Today I present a completed sewing project that only took about three hours from start to finish. I think. Uh, well I guess it was longer, I had to iron the fabric. It doesn't matter. The point is. I recovered the hideous old pillows that sit on my living room couch. It may not sound like much but there are six of them and they are rather large (two feet by two feet).

This project made a horrible mess. It turns out the pillows are feather pillows and they were starting to shed a bit. Duck down was escaping from the actual pillows into the decorative cases which led to my living room looking like Huey, Dewey, and Louie had murdered old man McDuck for those millions (and his monocle!). Also they were full of dust. It was a very sneezy time for awhile while I was ripping those things apart. Can you put awhile and while next to each other in a sentence? Well, I did.

Now I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, Who brags about making pillows? Woohoo, you sewed a square, way to accomplish the ordinary! And you're right. Most people wouldn't brag about making pillows. Then again most people haven't sewn their fingernail into a Halloween costume while it was still attached to their hand. Most people don't consider their sewing machine their nemesis. Most people don't spend hours on the simplest of projects begging for the sweet, sweet release of death. You see I am no ordinary woman. And for my encore I'm going to try to make a purse. GASP! That's right. I even bought a pattern (the orange one in the corner, my version will be blue with robots on it).

Booyah.

Yes, I am the last person on earth still saying Booyah. It's me and Cyborg and he got canceled.

The fabric that you see in the trash bag there is the old stuff, unattractive and cigarette stained from a previous owner. The close up of the new fabric which is a printed bark cloth called Beatnik from Big Kahuna.

Still here.

2008-01-18T09:05:00.000-08:00

They trimmed the palm trees outside my windows this week. You may not think that palm trees can obscure a view (if you can call the parking lot a "view") but I assure you that when the top of the tree is level with a window that Suessian poof at the top can really get in the way. I haven't seen a thing but palm leaves out my window since September. "What's the point of this?" you wonder? Well let me tell you the very first thing I saw out my window, if only I'd snapped a picture, where was my mind?

Yesterday, in the parking lot of my apartments, a man in a pink bathrobe gesturing wildly with his cigarette holder was conducting a heated conversation with two men in a gold Lincoln Navigator. Now, this was not a Navigator with a simple gold paint job, this was a a highly custom, why-god-why!? kind of paint job where the paint wasn't the color of gold but merely a clear substance gold glitter could be suspended in. This vehicle also had gold detailing and gold rims. It was like the sun became a vehicle and parked downstairs; Apollo's chariot if he was a real ostentatious 'playa', if you will. Inside this monstrosity were two men, the driver was wearing a cowboy hat and the passenger had on red and white stripes of some kind.

So I did what anyone would do when faced with such a preposterous scene: I took out the trash so I could walk by and get a closer look.

Upon further inspection I found that Guy in the Hat was clearly one of those guys who dress up in the fancy cowboy suits but has probably never even seen a cow. His hat likely cost more than a month's rent at my apartment (in California that's saying a lot), and I don't even want to speculate what is crazy, gold and gemstone bolo tie cost. The passenger was wearing a Chivas jersey. And hat. And probably pants and shoes also declaring his love for the team. (Side note: some of the Chivas jerseys have 'Bimbo' printed on them. Bimbo is kinda like Hostess. It's still hilarious to see guys walking around in their sports jerseys with the word bimbo on it though.)

The most disturbing thing of all about this scene once I got up close? The guy with the silver cigarette holder (which contained an unlit cigarette, BTW) was wearing the same fuzzy pink chenille bathrobe I have. I wonder if his aunt bought his for him, too.

Well, this sucks.

2007-11-08T08:35:00.000-08:00

RTK got laid off yesterday. I can't say I'm not worried about the money but I'm even more bummed that he lost a job that he really liked.

Speaking of money, I've put up a button. I'm not saying you have to click on it or give me money but if I entertain you then feel free to put a dollar in the cup. I'll dance for it. But if you want me to take my top off that costs more.

Now I feel obligated to be entertaining. Crap. Uh... There once was a man from Nantucket... Stop me if you've heard this one.

A day in the life.

2007-11-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

I'm totally cheating. This is a day in the life of the sun. And just to be an even bigger cheater, it's not starting at sunrise but sunset and then sunrise followed by midday, because that's the order I took the pictures in. (Click on the pics for larger versions.)

I took these during the fires. This first picture was taken in Ocean Beach at sunset on October 21. We had out of town guests, Garrison Keilor and Hercules, and had taken them down to the pier to show off a west coast sunset (also we had hopes to hit up a geocache but it wasn't meant to be). When I took these we had just found out about the fires and the ash was just starting to accumulate in the air. At this point we had no idea how bad it was going to be and were just enjoying the way the smoke affects the sunset. It really does incredible things with the color and the light.

What I think is cool about these pictures is that they were all taken at the same time, in the same place and yet the color is completely different because of the different angles the photos were taken at. Also, they look out of order because I didn't get the sun in the second one and for some reason it looks higher in the horizon in the third one than in the first one. I don't know what I was doing with the camera other than panicking that I was running out of batteries. It was mesmerizing though. I'm glad we decided to take the guys to that spot to watch the sunset, I'm not sure what it would have been like elsewhere in the county. That pier was just perfect. The fires were terrible but what a spectacle.

This is so San Diego, right here. Half the county is on fire, let's go surfing! I'm joking (sort of), like I said at this point it had only just started and no one thought it would be anything like it was in 2004, lettalone worse.

Lettalone is a word isn't it? My spell check is pitching a fit about it. Whatever. Spell check can suck it.

After I shot these pictures we went and got the kids some McDonalds and headed back to the house for Munchkin Cthulhu and general not paying attention to the emergency situation at hand. I ended up getting eaten by Dread Cthulhu a couple times and went to bed only to be woken up by Red Todd Kidd a half hour later informing me that the fire thing was kinda important. I ignored him and went back to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning the smoke was thick enough in the air that you could look directly at the sun, just like in 2004.

After dropping off RTK at work I snapped this picture of the sunrise from the gas station right by my apartment (it was $3.01 for regular that day, I wish it would go back to that, I payed 3.11 the other day).

Have you ever had the opportunity to look directly at the sun? It's absurdly strange. I find that I have a fundamental urge to shield my eyes even though there's no need. I've never seen a sunrise that looked so much like a sunset as that one, early in the morning the sky was purple instead of brown with ash and smoke, that came later.

You wouldn't think the sun could look so small and insignificant as this but there it is.

This one was taken at about 3pm on October 22, directly over my apartment. The sky was orange almost all day, about an hour after this you couldn't even see the sun anymore because the smoke was too thick. It was an entire day of otherworldly, dingy twilight like being in some steampunk novel with ash raining out of the sky for several days and starting to collect on anything that was still, like I imagine snow probably does. Postapocalyptic San Diego.

So there you have it, a day in the life of a smoke filled sky.

Ru-Paul and Other Distractions. (Blogstalking week 4 AND 5)

2007-10-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

I hate traffic, my filthy windshield, and sunrise.

Now that that unpleasantness is out of the way, let me tell you about what I love. What I love is things that are completely random. Like this weekend. This was a hella random weekend. Friday night I was out with Lucky. It was an entire night devoted to driving around to creepy places. Those creepy places included the most enormous cemetery ever to go completely unnoticed by everyone I've asked about it. This place is HUGE. I can't even begin to explain the extreme largeness. As a matter of fact it's actually two cemeteries that sort of run into each other and three mausoleums. One of the mausoleums is a three story building that at first we thought couldn't possibly be what it was, it was just too big. The other two are smaller two story deals though smaller is a completely relative term, they're still larger than most suburban apartment complexes in this area. The thing that's so crazy random about the place is that it's on two main roads and yet no one seems to know it's there.

We also hit up an apartment building that Lucky says would be his top choice for locations to shoot a slasher flick in. I agree, the place is like a tiny Winchester mansion. The stairs alone are just bizarre (two sets right next to each other that never intersect and you can't see one from the other but they lead to the exact same spot) then you throw in exterior walls on the inside of the building, a rickety fire escape, all the blind corners (and by that I mean all the corners are blind corners, I bet it makes moving in and out a bitch) a great view of the city, and the fact that you never see any of the residents of the place and you've got yourself a movie. I wish I had thought to bring my camera but that's the theme of the weekend, randomness and me kicking myself for forgetting the camera.

Saturday we went to the barber shop and they invited us to their anniversary shindig that night. Red Todd Kidd and I tried to find a sitter but couldn't so he bade me take up with Kaylee and go forth to this rockabilly show. So we did. Adventure ensued.

First we went to the Tower Bar where this thing was taking place. They were playing the most campy and strange D-movies on the tv in the corner, almost everyone in the place was drinking tall boys of PBR, and the whole place looked like a casting call for West Side Story 2 (Which I'm sure would have the same basic plot as West Side Story except it'd be set in present day and the tension would be between hardcore rockabilly kids and apathetic emo hipsters fighting over who gets to be pretentious in the town's diviest dive bar. Then one pretty little cutting emo girl in horn rim glasses with no prescription and an outfit that probably cost $300 trying to get it to look like it came from a thrift store locks eyes with a vintage car driving, leather jacket wearing, James Dean wannabe who clearly spends most of his time on ebay looking for vintage pomade to rock in his pompadour and doomed romance blooms, I hate to spoil the ending for you but they both die, she slits her wrists with one of his vintage Elvis records then he puts her dead body in the car with him and drives off a cliff). Kaylee and I sat there, sat there, sat there, watched a reenactment of the Outsiders when a rumble broke out just near the door, sat there, sat there, sat there, got drinks spilled on us, sat there, sat there, and sat there. Since after all that sitting the band STILL hadn't gone on and it was damn near midnight, we took off.

We had a mind to head to this piano bar Kaylee's been talking about but we never made it there. You see, we got caught up in a weird midnight traffic fiasco that was being caused by some random side street being blocked off. As we were stopped we heard an amplified voice ring out through the night, "Yes, hello everyone! I'm Ru-Paul Superstar of the world!" (or whatever the hell that catchphrase of his is) and we decided we had to find out if it was really him. So we parked around the corner and wandered back to discover some charity event drag show with Ru-Paul on stage in a wig he'd clearly gotten at Dolly Parton's last yard sale and more pink sequins than I thought existed this side of Key West. Spectacular. Truly. But we were hungry and our curiosity was sated so we left and stumbled on to a little 24 hour diner where we spent the next hour eating the most awesome sandwiches and talking to three complete strangers about porn among other things. After that I was drunk dialed by The Cowardly Lion who simply read me the definition of drunk dialing followed by the definition of a booty call. So we went over to his house and hung out with him and his wives for a little bit. Yes, I said wives, they've been watching too much Big Love over there.

Sunday was for geocaching with the family which was pretty cool, actually. RTK's been on me to try it out for awhile so we got a GPS and went and did one. The kids loved it. I'd go into more detail but my fingers may fall off from all the typing. I'll blog some pics of that another day.

Anyway, the three things I love (in case you don't get the pictures): October, my daughter trying to throw up the horns, and National City Municipal Code 11.68.050 which prohibits "cruising" and leads to those goofy signs all up and down Highland Avenue, it always cracks me up.

Also you'll see my blogstalking week 5 assignment which requires I photograph a statue. I found this copse of angels quite by accident in the aforementioned giant cemetery when Lucky and I went back Sunday afternoon. Technically you're not supposed to photograph people's headstones but I cropped out the ones you could read. The statues stand out because the whole area they're in is plain as hell except this group of statues all crowded together like some sort of saint convention.

Voodoo Doll injury and Robert Plant's trousers.

2007-10-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

I seem to have knit myself out of commission. The last two fingers of my right hand cramp up every time I try to work on my project. Either the fine gauge and dense knit fabric have played havoc with my digits or the bad juju of Bad Juju is upon me. I'm leaning toward the latter since the last thing I did was accidentally put a leg where an arm should be. Maybe I'm careless, maybe I'm cursed, it doesn't really matter the end result is the same.

As you may recall, or if you use those tag things and actually go back and read old posts, I had said I'd never knit Bad Juju again. You see, the thing is, I'm lazy. Even though this pattern isn't really the best and even though it has a lot of stuff I'd rather do another way, I really don't feel like trying to alter or rewrite it. So, I'm knitting it again (and again) even though I don't like it because I am seemingly under its spell. I really hope this doesn't lead to a life of knitting voodoo dolls and then possible raising of zombies that will ultimately destroy me and take over the earth. That would suck but Zanti and OLPP might worship me. Although I'm pretty sure Holly Bee would come kill me. But it's cool if she did, I'd totally have it coming. Seriously.

So to pass the time I'm listening to copious amounts of Led Zeppelin (a little aside, PennyKarma sent me a version of Stairway to Heaven done by Dolly Parton that is really outstanding, truly it boggles the mind) and working on a story. And occasionally going over to You Tube and watching Robert Plant wander around on stage with his shirt open. Is it hot in here? I don't even like blondes. What a shame I missed the 70's. Oh, how I would have followed that band around like Vic from Almost Famous. Did I have a point because I seem to have lost it down Robert Plant's trousers.

How do you get from there to here?

2007-10-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

Across the asphalt, pools of it everywhere, dark as tar with the sheen of obsidian it reflected the light of the waning moon back at me menacingly, as a murderer might brandish a knife. It seemed unfathomable that other children would play in it, splash it at one another, and most disturbing of all leap right into the middle of a lake of that caustic substance. How could they jump in when they couldn’t see through it? How could they trust that it was only a few inches of water when in darkness it became something so much more? How come no one else knew, as I did, that at night they ceased to be simple puddles and became insidious dark water portals waiting roil over and consume the careless child who stepped in when no one was looking?

I have no idea how I got here.

Chaos+Handbag=Aventure

2007-09-25T08:08:00.000-07:00

Why the hell would anyone want to see what's in my bag? I'm just glad you caught me on a day when I didn't have a half eaten food product or something in it. As you can plainly see from the photo, I have chaos in my bag. I never know what's in it or what I've forgotten. I dumped all that crap on the floor, took a picture and then scooped it all back in. The only difference between what's in it at this moment and when I took the picture is that I realized my sunglasses were missing and put them back in the bag.

That's right, I didn't take the opportunity to put away that pattern and/or the stitch markers. I didn't throw out those receipts. I didn't even throw away that trash that's clearly labeled, "trash" in the photo. That's because I don't care. It's also because the only surprises that I get on most days are what I do or do not find in that bag. It's like a jungle expedition but slightly more and less dangerous. The suspense of it! Will enough digging yield the hair tie I desperately need so I can roll down the car window without my hair whipping perilously in my face? Is there a lollipop to bribe the dreaded Lola Monster with so the trip to the laundromat will not bring her demise by throttling? Did I actually remember my wallet now that I have this cart full of groceries? Holy crap! That guy has the world's lamest vanity plate! Where's my camera? Adventure, my friends. Adventure.

Edit 10:44am: I found a half eaten waffle in there. Figures.

Taking my advice from webcomics

2007-09-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Chances are if you're actually reading my blog you've probably seen this comic strip. I've decided to take the advice of the charming net nerd in the last frame and started up a scarf. Not even a new one, one I've already done before. You see, I need a confidence builder after the unmitigated disaster that was the Victorian Lace Today Cap Shawl. It was truly disgusting what I did to that poor yarn. As a matter of fact, I should get rid of the yarn altogether so I'm not tempted to try again. Seriously, I need like, a lace-weight intervention or something.

So now I'm working on a Wavy in a deep and mysterious forest green. It's far more mysterious than in my totally pro photo at left. It's like Darkest Africa. That's what I would call it if I got to name the colors. But I don't get to name the colors so it'a actually called 'Shade 220' which just doesn't have that same ring to it. It looks viney. Is viney a word? My spell check says, "No," but I don't care what my spell check has to say about it. Shut up spell check! Stop trying to tell me how to live my life, you computers don't own me yet! I'm still free, the robots will never take me alive! Wow, this is some good coffee this morning.

What was I talking about? Ah, yes, the scarf. I'm committing a cardinal knitting sin on this one. Not only am I knitting this for someone who asked me to make them a scarf BUT ALSO it's for a guy I've never actually met. I justify this because I've spoken to him on the phone many times and he entertains the hell out of me and if GK will vouch for him (he's his roommate, hence how I sorta phone-met the guy) then he's got to be a good guy. In any case he's getting a scarf since he was really excited about the one I sent GK some months ago. I do like to be flattered.

I think this project will go a little better than my other recent ones. In a bit of divine providence I accidentally chose a color the guy really likes. Okay, I've got to stop calling him 'the guy', I mean I'm knitting for him he should get a name right? Uh... Hercules. So I'm knitting Hercules a scarf. Awesome.

The yarn for this is really fantastic. It's a machine washable (it's for a guy, I have no illusions about how it will be treated) wool blend. SKR Perth, it's 70% merino and 30% acrylic and you can put it in the dryer! It's really soft, squishy, and the stitch definition is great. I'm totally in love with the stuff.

And finally does anyone read and write well in Greek? I could use a bit of assistance with something...

This is me

2007-09-20T08:26:00.000-07:00

In an attempt to actually blog once in awhile, like at least weekly. I joined up the knitty blogstalking ring (over there in the left side bar there's a button thingy for it). This week's assignment is "Who am I?". Personally, I find that a bit existential for: a) a blog post, b) a weekend (yes, I'm totally running late as usual), c) the very first blogstalking post but then again, I just used the word thingy, so who am I to judge?

I actually spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to post and I really couldn't come up with anything clever. I thought about posting pictures of Imperial Beach where I grew up or some significant item I have lying around but just went around in circles. The one thing that kept coming up is a place I've never been inside of, that I have no tangible connection to. There's a salt works on a side street over by the bay that just fascinates me. I'm not sure what it is about the place that I find so appealing but I love to drive by it. I prefer it when the sky is a steely grey but this morning's minor rain didn't leave behind any real clouds.

In any case, this is me:

I love the way this place, though still in constant use, looks abandoned. I love the little stalactites of salt that hang down from every awning like Southern Californian icicles. The reflection in the water, the peeling paint, the rusting equipment. I just think it's beautiful. Or, at the very least, compelling.

I don't know why it seems to sum me up but it does. I think I may have misunderstood the assignment...

I quit and stuff.

2007-08-07T10:57:00.000-07:00

I quit football last night. I don't want to talk about it.

My post from yesterday was published before I finished it and now I've forgotten where the hell I was going with what I was saying.

I still haven't ripped back to my lifeline on the Cap Shawl. I don't want to have to. It's like if I just wait long enough, when I come back to it, it will have the correct number of stitches.

I started the fronts of FIL's sweater but since I'm sure it's going to be way too big I'm not really thrilled with it and have started to avoid it.

I have nothing interesting to say.

Awesome.

More of the same

2007-08-06T13:25:00.001-07:00

Tonight is my first football practice without the other coaches. I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do. I'm seriously apprehensive and I'm thinking taking this on was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made. I've been trying to read up on drills and such but my mind wanders to other places. I wish I could find some good coaches to help me that will actually come every day. There seem to be a lot of people who want to help but they can't devote the amount of time that's needed. I'm listening to Benny Goodman and trying to calm down. I do love Benny Goodman.

Red Todd Kidd left his performance review from work out on the computer desk and I don't know if I should look at it or not. It's bugging me. I mean, he left it *right there* but at the same time it would bug me if he read my stuff without asking. Okay, I won't read it. I'll just turn it over and try not to stare so hard I get x-ray vision.

Went out and waxed philosophical about life with Lucky last night. He got fired and now feels, more acutely, the lack of direction he's been suffering. I told him to write a novel. The guy tells a fantastic story. You could ask him to tell you about the last time he did his laundry and an hour later your sides will be sore from laughing and you'll be shocked a whole hour has gone by.

I love Tiger Balm.

2007-07-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

I have been absent because I now coach 5-7 year olds at flag football. It may kill me. Not from the stress like I thought but from the fact that I have to demonstrate all the drills to the kids. Sometimes several times. Until Monday I don't think I'd ever done lunges IN MY LIFE yet there I was doing lunges for 15 yards and then back 15 yards WITH EACH KID. My legs hurt. The third quarter earnings of Tiger Balm, Advil, and Kleenex will skyrocket thanks to me. I hate it. I don't want to coach football. I want someone to come up to me and say, "Hey there, thanks but I know what I'm doing and I'd like to take over." Oh, how I would thank that unnamed stranger.

Cpurl has tagged me with the first meme I can't respond to in kind. The challenge was to show off where you keep your handknit socks. Though I have knit at least 5 pair of socks I don't actually have any. I give them away. Mostly to my son who loves handknit socks and requests them for his birthday every year. So I guess, I keep my handknit socks on my blog since it has all the photos of my long gone knits.

Underpants

2007-06-29T14:49:00.001-07:00

When you buy new underpants and take it out of the package, do you always think: There's no way that will fit me! People could camp under that! Only to find they are, in fact, the correct size?

And suddenly I try to save the day (again).

2007-06-25T11:53:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went and signed up Darth for flag football. When we arrived they told us that the team was full but that there were almost enough kids for a second team. Eight people had signed up to assist the coach of said team but no one had signed up to be Head Coach, which they must have to have a team. Somehow I volunteered. I think this was probably stupid.

I'm really not sure why I do these things. Why do I always want to save the day? Why do I stay up all night making crazy birthday cakes or injure my hand trying to make the best cupcakes ever? Why do I have to make homemade gifts? Why do I wait until the last minute to do everything? Why the HELL did I just sign up to coach football for 5 year olds?

Deep breath, it's only practices 5 days a week for two weeks and 3 days a week after that with games on Saturdays. It only requires that I get re-certified in first aid and CPR and that I complete at least 6 hours of training clinics. I only have to teach 5-7 year olds in untold numbers how to play a sport I have never actually played (with rules anyway). I only have to deal with 8 dads who didn't step up to coach and will now resent that I did. You know, no big deal.

I'm insane.

So I'm going to knit Enrelac's sock this week. I will have it completed by next week. I will. It has been decided. This is for three reasons. #1 She loved the first one, hooray! So I'm excited and want to get her the second one. #2 Football season is going to be starting and when it does my knitting will go on hiatus for awhile. #3 I still have knit my FIL a sweater before his birthday in August.

To reiterate: I'm insane.

It should be fun to watch me self destruct though, right?

Today is a musical day. A crappy musical.

2007-06-21T15:55:00.000-07:00

I've had songs in my head all day today. Early this morning I was assaulted by Kansas as I checked out a friend's MySpace page. Carry on My Wayward Son was the song of the morning until it was replaced by Punkrocker by the Teddybears on my trip to pick up Darth from school. Just now an ad (for this website) on the side of some webpage caught my eye and suddenly, though no audible music was about, 2 Live Crew filled my ears with their ode to Hoochie Mamas the world over.

It's going to be days before the jumble in my brain stops going "Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think I still was a mad man. I hear the voices when I'm dreaming, I can hear them saaaaaaaaay: She ain't nothin' but a hoochie mama! Hoodrat, hoodrat, hoochie mama! 'Cause I'm a punk rocker yes I am. Well, I'm a punk rocker yes I am..." Because I don't just get songs stuck in my head, they go in there and it's like a blender where they get sampled and compiled and turned into a crazy mishmash of crap that doesn't even make sense to me.

This hasn't been the best of days anyway. RTK and I were fighting but are now resolved. My shoes came via Fed Ex but didn't fit. I can't find my sunglasses. Nothing is really tragic but all together it's pretty annoying. Oh crap! I just realized I never got the meat out of the freezer to defrost! My house is messy and I really don't feel like cleaning it. My kids are whiny. I'm whiny. Hey at leat I've got some beer in the fridge. No wait, that's root beer. I just can't win.

If tomorrow isn't any better I'm totally punching it in the face.

*If you google (image search) the terms Hood Rat and Hoochie Mama you actually come up with a couple of knit blog posts. I cracked up. Here's Hood Rat and here's Hoochie Mama.

I made stuff. Lots of stuff.

2007-06-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

My road trip dissolved into the ether of unrealized dreams. Alas, it was not to be.

So anyway, I actually do knit. In fact my lack of blogging has been because of a tremendous amount of knitting. As evidence I will now submit pictures of what I've been up to as well as a few pictures of FOs I hadn't gotten around to posting for some odd reason even though I finished them MONTHS ago. As always, click on the pictures for larger versions.

First up we have Unbiased done in Patons Soy Wool Stripes that was a gift for Irie for her graduation. I have made Unbiased twice before in sari silk and have yet to really perfect this pattern. I have intentions to line this for Irie at my earliest convenience which will be sometime around 2022 when Lola graduates from high school. Anywho, the vital stats: Patons SWS. Britany Birch needles in size 8. Pattern alterations: Only increased to 5.5 inches so I'd have a narrower deeper bag.

I actually did the whole purse in two days, in between casting off Entrelac's first sock and casting on the second.

Lastly, when you seem this up in the weird order that I did you actually get something that looks like a giant goofy bra for a minute.

Next up we have the Socks I'm knitting for Entrelac (Pattern from Folk Socks by Nancy Bush). I have finished the first one and am starting to panic that they don't fit so the sock you see here will be wining its way out to Texas for a fitting to ease my mind or make me cry depending on the outcome. At least it's cute, right? It's my first bit of Fair Isle type work and I'm in no hurry do do anything more ambitious. I'm very pleased with the way the first one has turned out and I'm hoping Entrelac really likes them when they're all done. She and I both live in the country's "No Sock Zone" but knitted socks are just too tempting.

I love contrasting toes, they make your feet look smaller.

And now the last two little projects I had been forgetting to post: Dashing and My So Called Scarf (which I have had bookmarked for years with nary the right yarn nor occasion) both out of Lorna's Laces Shepard Worsted in Mineshaft and both for my friend GK. I actually knit these up for him when he was going through a really hard time and had no heat in his house (he's in Pennsylvania). By the time I finished them it was spring and he had heat again. I've had these stuffed in a care package box that I keep forgetting to finish filling and mail. If only it were the thought that counted, eh?

The scarf was done on size 11 Britany birch needles and only one glaring error was made. I didn't fix it so if you feel like it you can stare until you find it, it'll be like a really uninteresting Where's Waldo picture only instead of a cute drawing you're searching for my failure! Who could deny the fun of that?

The wristies were done on Clover bamboo needles in size 7. I actually finished these up at the San Diego knitty meet up. Pomegranate has pics of them somewhere I think, I had forgotten my camera.

I apologize for the shitty photos. I know pics of FOs just lying about really suck but I have no model today, Iman didn't show up and they gave Tyra her own show and I just didn't feel like trying to track down Kate Moss or Fabio because she's annoying and he's always trying to take stuff from the shoots.

It's going to be epic.

2007-06-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow Lucky Champagne is picking me up at 7am (yes, on a Saturday) so we can go on a road trip. Our road trip was supposed to be a weekend and it was supposed to be to our friend's bar in Arizona. Now it's just Lucky driving to wherever we can get to and back by the end of the day tomorrow. It would not surprise me if we end up at the Center of the World. I know he wants to go take some paint to the guy at Salvation Mountain. Hooray, a field trip to the zealot swindler's place! Actually I know it will be fun because it will be something different to do. Plus funny crap just always happens to Lucky. I have no idea what tomorrow will hold, I'm just along for the ride.

I will be taking my camera so hopefully I'll get some amusing pictures.

I had hoped to show you one finished sock for Entrelac today but I totally fucked up the toe (all because I was totally caught up in that cinematic masterpiece The Brothers Grimm) and had to rip it out so you have to wait. Not that I expect anyone was falling all over themselves in anticipation. Oh, and since a few people have asked the pattern came from Folk Socks (Welsh Country Socks), I didn't come up with it. I did modify it a bit though.

I'm no Eunny.

2007-05-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

But of course, that should be obvious. I mean, come on, my knitting is not even close to on a par with hers (I have two kids to watch, if I knit up lace they'd haul me away for neglect) and my photography leaves a hell of a lot to be desired (and much the time it leaves most of the work to your imagination).

I mentioned that I was knitting socks FOR a knittyboarder whose screen name is Entrelac. I have been asked several times now how my Entrelac Socks are going. I have never knit entrelac so I really don't think I'll be introducing myself to the technique with knee socks! Lord, I can barely find the time, tenacity, and inclination to knit a pair of plain old socks letalone knee socks, letalone ENTRELAC knee socks! You people expect too much from me (and by 'too much' what I mean is 'anything, anything at all').

Now I feel bragging about my very first bit of colorwork is going to be a letdown. Oh well, I'm going to do it anyway, far be it from me to not gloat about an accomplishment. Go back and look at that first pic again to see my very first attempt at colorwork! Okay so it's not really my first attempt, my first (and second and third) attept was ripped out so I could get a nice even band that wasn't to tight to stretch. I wanted to make sure these things will fit (Jaywalkers taught me to always double check). After I did the colored band I knit a few rounds, put it on waste yarn and pulled it up my leg to see how far it would go. I got it past my knee. I am certain that it will fit. Ooh, I hope they fit! I want these to be awesome. It helps that I have great yarn. I'm using Wildfoote again. It makes a really lovely fabric on size 1 needles. SOme people think it's too splitty but I love it anyway. The colors shown here are Black Licorice and Purple Splendor (which is a tweedy yarn with some blue in it).

Now, I have to tell you about the fabulousness that came in the mail today. The lovely Miss Entrelac for whom the above socks are being knit, sent me some of her famous stitchmarkers. These are not the plastique kind I usually use, oh no! These are better than most of my jewelry (and more useful, although I have used a dangly earring as a rowmarker but...). Anyway, the fabulous markers featured in these pictures are made of niobium wire and the beads are hematite, except the larger beaded markers which are sterling and hematite. I could just swoon, couldn't you? I only wish I could take a picture that would really show them off. Even with the macro function on my camera the best I could do was an exquisite photo of the woven detail of my tablecloth (though it is a nice one, it repels liquid, really it just stays beaded up and wiped right off).

Jealous?

At least 7.5 random things about California.

2007-05-22T13:14:00.000-07:00

I challenged Bezzie and now I shall have to make good on my deal.

1) The Center of the World is in Felicity, California. I have never been there durring hours when it's open but Edina and I have climbed to the top of it and also pulled open the double doors to get inside after hours. They made those things lock into each other but not bolt into the ground, if you yank hard enough they just come open. Of course, they may have fixed that by now and it's not like there's anything inside it to take or anything so maybe they weren't worried about it. Eh, here's a photo from a postcard that some guy got on his trip. I have no idea if that girl got the duck at The Center of the World or if they just have a random duck walker or something. It's a weird place, who knows.

2) The largest and oldest wooden building in California is the Hotel Del Coronado on the island of Coronado here in San Diego county. It is also the second oldest remaining Victorian resort in the world. One time my buddy Dan and I wandered around the Del for several hours while he pretended to be a tourist of undefined Eastern European or Germanic origin. He kept shouting about shoddy American beer ("I have been in your country three weeks and have not yet been drunk! What is this piss you call beer!?") and asking people if they knew where they sold hot nuts (The Del used to sell hot roasted peanuts but must have stopped sometime before that particular trip). Also, most locals refer to it as The Del as opposed to The Coronado, which make no linguistiacal sense really.

3) This is a real street sign that is used on numerous freeways around San Diego. A huge deal was made of these things when they first went up and people from other states have told me they don't believe that these are really up on I-5. I see three of them on my way to drop off my husband at work every morning. In the 27 years I've been alive I have never actually seen anyone running across the freeway. Ever.

3.5) If California's economic size were measured by itself to other countries, it would rank the 7th largest economy in the world.

4.5) The U.S. Open Sandcastle Competition is held annualy in my hometown of Imperial Beach, California. Imperial Beach is considered to have some of the best sand in the counrty. I find this amusing since the beach has been eroding like crazy for the past 10 years. There's like half as much beach now as there was when I was a kid. If I owned a beach front home I'd be pretty worried. Anyway, after the competition the sand on the beach is totally displaced and for two days while it washes back out to normal it creates two sets of breakers in the water with a big, calm area in between like a swimming pool. The picture at right is actually from the amature division of last year's contest. The winning team for the main contest sculpted a giant hand holding a royal flush that was way detailed. Those people are nuts!

5.5) No one seems to know where the word California actually originated but everyone seems to have an opinion about it. (Wikipedia has a fairly good article about it.) Personally, I like the idea that it was a slam on Hernan Cortes. I find it amusing.

6.5) The only one of California's 21 Missions I have ever been to is Mission San Francisco Solano, the final mission built by the Spanish and the one farthest away from where I live. The first mission was Mission Basilica San Diego de Alcala it's right here in town and though I've been by it a number of times I'm pretty sure I've never gone in. Churches wig me out and they still actually use the mission as a church. It is beautiful though, check out the picture over there. They also have a legend that if you hear the mission bells in the middle of the night you shouldn't follow them because you'll never return. You know, good old follow the bells to your death stories. Which will take me to the last fact...

7.5) According to the Travel Channel's show America's Most Haunted the U.S. government actually keeps a list of the most haunted places in our country. The number one house on that list is Whaley House in San Diego's Old Town area. If you stop through town, I'll take you there. Afterward we can go over to the Haunted Coldstone down the street. Okay, so Coldstone isn't haunted but we say it is since it's located in between Whaley House and the graveyard where Yankee Jim is burried. Although there's plenty of skepticism to go around, I have to admit there are many weird things that go on in that locale. Not the least of which being that if you park your car over the grave markers in the road (the cemetary line was moved back ages ago and some of the graves are under the paved road, there are small brass plaques simply stating "Grave Site" where graves have been paved over) your car won't start. It doesn't always happen and it doesn't happen to everyone but it happens just enough to be really odd. The photo below is of my sister Shaniqua and my cousins Irie and Hawkeye at Yankee Jim's grave.

And thus ends my 7.5 facts about California that are mostly about San Diego since that's where I'm from. Since I mostly talked about SoCal, I think CPurl17 should tell us about NorCal.

On the knitting front, I'm working on a pair of socks for Entrelac that I will show you just as soon as I'm sure they're looking right.

Lastly, my baby girl is THREE years old today. Yikes!

I win.

2007-04-23T09:34:00.000-07:00

The Harry Potter Scarf has been bound off. It's done. It's over. The loathesome beast will be departing shortly. I win.

Okay the Vital stats: Red Heart Acyrillic in Claret (3 skeins) and Caron (1 skein) in some yellow, the label came off ages ago. The needles were Clover bamboo in size 8 and then I got my KP Options set and switched, much easier after that (Sticky Ickryllic+bamboo=GAH!).

The dimentions on this thing are rediculous. It's like, 11 inches wide. I wasn't about to start over so too bad. If I ever did another, and that's the biggest fattest if you ever saw, I'd still do it on the same size needles, albeit with another yarn of the same weight, but I'd cut the number of sts from 90 per round to say, 60.

I hated this thing. So much.

I'm right here, PennyKarma.

2007-04-19T15:29:00.000-07:00

I know, I'm neglecting the blog. I'm sorry.

But I can't seem to get anything done lately. Tuesday was awesome, though. I went to the grocery store AND the laundromat plus I reorganized the kitchen cabinets so you could actually insert or remove an item without causing a catastrophe as boxes and bags of foodstuffs cascaded upon you as you cried, "Why me!?"

But that was Tuesday.

Well, I suppose I get some props for yesterday, I went shopping with my fantastic MIL at the outlet mall and never lost my temper, came home and picked up, and then made Coq au Vin (from Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles Cookbook) for dinner.

Today I couldn't tell you what I've spent my whole day doing, really. All I know is that the only time I wasn't actively doing something was when I spent 10 minutes skimming through a BSG podcast, when I gave myself a cheapass spa pedicure (this can be done by sitting on your bathroom counter with your feet in the sink), and just now when I popped on to check email and whatnot.

The time flies, I tell you.

We are really enjoying the new place and I've been spending most of my time trying to make it look less like a werehouse and more like we live here.

I'm working on the Harry Potter Scarf and refuse to get out any other project until it's done. I loathe it but it's going much quicker now that I got my new KP Options needle set for my birthday. The shorter cord is the perfect length for the number of sts I'm working on so I could finally ditch the annoying two circ method.

So here's the living room. Please note the Harry Potter Scarf on the couch. This picture was taken over a week ago (I intended to blog, you see) and since then I've steam cleaned the couch, put up pictures, and put in a real lamp instead of the lava lamps.

This is the kitchen which despite looking very large has no decent sized cupboards or drawers. They're all oddly shaped.

This is my new nephew, the one who got the colorful sweater.

Well, I'm off to clean more and possibly cook. I'm thinking leftover cassarole. If I live, I'll try to post something interesting tomorrow. Oh, what am I saying, my obit will be interesting.

The Mamir

2007-03-26T15:31:00.000-07:00

the Admiral now.
Ask him how much time I have left.
When is the the one who will be helped the most by your understanding of this And you feel no compassion for them?
Doomed by an accident of birth or boiled.
You must remember . . . tired eyes, I followed the others.
Outdoors into a field of ripening silently as the voice-over spoke.
and I shuffled out and followed him at a discreet distance.
Clanking needed.
This did not make me feel much better.
join the other three already up.
Made for some interesting shadows.
A minute break every hour, keep walking until sunset.
very much like I felt.
He eased himself into the chair opposite me.
I All over.
object of your attentions is quite clear.
I can promise you that while off the suit-and a lot of flesh with it.
The suit was padded.
He was ominously-then crashed out Admiral Bonbons voice. .. fans?
Not wise, our host said.
There was a clank-clank close behind me

It seems like bad spoken word poetry doesn't it? In truth, just a spam email I got titled 'the mamir' since it cracked me up, I decided to share it. I din't edit this at all, this is exactly how I got it. And if you're dying to know the author it came from an email address registered to Muhsin Schulz, who is trying to sell me viagra, valium, cialis, ambien, soma, and xanax. You are a beat poet Mr. Muhsin Schulz, rock on.

Dreams are lame.

2007-03-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed I was at the church I went to as a kid. For some reason you had to take your shoes off which strikes me as strange for your typical Lutheran establishment. Then I lost my purse and RTK got all mad at me for losing it. I kept saying, "I don't think I even brought it in!" but I had because I managed to find all the stuff that was in it. I never did find the purse itself though.

So then my mother points out that I'm walking funny and decides it's because I've grabbed the wrong shoes. Sure enough, I'm wearing two different shoes, neither of which are mine. Like I'd wear white patent leather Mary Janes? Oh hell no. It begs the question, how did I ever mistake them for mine in the first place? I haven't owned a pair of white shoes since my sister's wedding and I wasn't happy about it then. Those suckers went right in the trash as soon as I got home. I hate white shoes. Anyway, one of them is a platform shoe and the other isn't so I'm limping like an idiot and I can't find my real shoes. So now I'm completely sans accessories, limping around like a jackass and Mom wants to go to brunch with the old church ladies.

Finally I gave up and left the shoes, put all my stuff in my pockets since I had no purse, and I notice there's a dandelion growing out of my face. At this point I was so annoyed I woke up.

Dreams are lame.

Big Love is warping my brain.

2007-03-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

I'm totally hooked on HBO's Big Love. Edina has the first season on DVD and I've been watching it incessantly. I've now seen the whole first season at least three times and damn it if it isn't all I can think about. Every conversation I have seems to suddenly veer left into polygamy and then just hang out there ad nauseum.

I think I've alienated or otherwise weirded out all my friends. I think everyone was much more comfortable when I'd hijack the conversation with my fear of the zombie uprising.

Also, I've seen enough of Bill Paxton's ass for this lifetime.

I could go on but I have a feeling I shouldn't. I only have the two readers as it is...

Socks for a pirate

2007-03-20T10:42:00.000-07:00

I finished Red Todd Kidd's socks. Twenty days ago. I'm totally lagging on the FO posting. I was mortified to discover that I was going to run out of the main color before completing the second sock but since my LYS was out of it and RTK didn't care I just finished it off with the grey. It makes me crazy but no one else cares so why should I? But I do care. Jebus help me, I care. I want that sock to match the first one and it galls me that it doesn't. Especially after having to rip out the tops with all the beautiful braiding and replace it with regular boring ribbing. Which is one of the reasons that I ran out of the MC yarn.

Anywhoo...

Pattern: St. Peter Port Stripes Socks from Folk Socks by Nancy Bush.

Yarn: Brown Sheep Company's "Wildfoote Luxury Sock Yarn" in Zane Grey (MC), Black Orchid (CC1), and Gunsmoke (CC2).

Needles: Takumi Clover size 1 DPNs (went up a size from the pattern to make a larger sock).

Adjustments: Well, I did the beautiful braid work at the top but couldn't get it loose enough to go ver RTK's foot so I had to tear it out and put some plain ribbing up there. Also I ran out of yarn, as I mentioned before, so if I did this again I'd get two balls of the MC.

What I hated: I wasn't crazy about carrying the colors up the back of the work, I think I'd ratehr weave in ends to prevent puckering. I also loathed the heel on these things. I'm not a fan of grafting so doing it once at the heel and again at the toe just made me mad. The heel for these is just show-offy and I don't like it. A standard heel is good enough for me plus, no seam under the foot that way.

What I loved: RTK likes them and has worn them several times, that makes me very happy. I do really like the yarn, many people find it splitty and I agree that the tweeded MC is, it also twists back on itself some which is annoying BUT I loved it anyway. Well worth it.

And that's what I did on my summer vacation. Whoa, De ja vu.

Not Irish

2007-03-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

I'm not Irish. Not even a little bit. Nope. So of course last night I went out to celebrate St, Patrick's Day with the horde of other non-Irish people who use it as an excuse to drink copious amounts of all manner of booze and throw up in their friend's cars/lawns/beds etc. I didn't see a single person throw up this year so I consider it a majorly successful evening. I also remember most of the stuff that happened so another success right there. Of course I was dead to the world until well after 9am today but the kids didn't complain too much about their late breakfasts.

Anyway, every two days after the ides of March one of my oldest friends both literally and chronologically, in fact for the blog here we'll call him Methuselah, throws a party to celebrate his drunken heritage. He happens to be Irish but he also happens to be a drunkard and that second thing is what he's celebrating before you get your hackles up and get all pissy about Irish bashing or some such (and by the way, Methuselah's little brother The Cowardly Lion also just as Irish and somehow never as drunk, I'm just saying). I see I've lost my point, has anyone seen it anywhere? I seriously doubt it but hell, it never hurts to ask. Oh yeah, Methuselah threw a party as he is wont to do.

Methuselah's parties are generally the most random I've ever been to. You never know who you'll run into from what phase of your life. Sometimes that's cool but more often than not it's incredibly awkward. Occasionally it leads to Lucky Champagne having a throw down while Napoleon and I scream insults at people. I gotta tell you, that's some role reversal, Lucky is much more an insulter and Napoleon and I are not shy with the face punching.

Moderately amusing aside, the throw down mentioned above took place for a number of reasons which mostly involved some idiot punching Lucky in the stomach for no real reason but also because Napoleon decided that some other idiot wasn't allowed to talk to or about me in the particularly insulting manner in which he had been. I find that funny because the last time I got into a fight it was partly because some bitchy girl was talking about Napoleon in a similar manner (also I punched her boyfriend for grabbing my ass and she was pissed about it, you know, like you do). See, this is why none of you six or seven readers would really want to know me in the real world, clearly I don't abide there.

The more I blog about my life instead of my knitting the more charming I sound, right?

So last night Red Todd Kidd, Lucky, Kaylee, Edina and I all head out into the unkown of Methuselah's place. I'm happy to report there was no fighting not screaming of insults and we all had a pretty good time. But then again, I haven't heard from anyone yet today and it's entirely possible that my version of events has nothing to do with reality, it wouldn't be the first time.

I bet you're wondering what the hell this post is about and what it has to do with anything. Sadly, there is no point. I was just posting because I had a few minutes and it's been awhile and also if I ramble about this I won't have to dig out the pictures of RTK's socks I've been meaning to post for hella days. I hate loading pictures.

More things Garrison Keilor says

2007-02-24T11:31:00.000-08:00

Nothing like a superbaby to bring a smile to your face and say, "Yeah, when the aliens come to turn us all into slaves he will probably be good breeding stock."

GK:Did I ever tell you about your myspace pic? *shakes head* Very unflattering, it's almost like poop on celluoid.
Me: Thanks for the comment on my myspace pic, I always enjoy being told how poor I look in pictures. Every woman does.

GK: I think I need to challange Kaylee to a hell in the cell match to prove my dominace to my woman.
Me: You know Kaylee could just put her hand on your forehead and keep you out of arm's reach, right?
GK: Ok enough about my height, I will not be mocked about my height, especially from a dark haired Polly Pocket.

Meh, I can't tell trailer trash from zombies, that's why the deep south scares me so much.

It's like a long forgotten friend, when you finally stand in front of said friend all you want to do is hug and grope them, patting them on the back in an awkward fashion.

GK:*chuckles* Yeah, winter gets cold here. Then this white stuff starts to fall from the sky and I swear it's like the world is coming to an end.
Me: White stuff? I've heard about that. They call it show or something right?
GK: No, in my lands its called the white death.
Me: So perhaps you should consider one of the bright shining lands to the south where that doesn't happen.
GK: Hah! The south is full of the soft! All that sun breeds in weakness!
Me: Yeah people are always remarking on the incredible weakness that is me.
GK: Well you are of the weaker sex... so you are not totally to blame. But your hips are good for breeding, so there is some reedemable value there.
Me: Yeah, women with all their bleeding and child bearing and putting up with men's crap, total wimps.

Ok... but I still feel the internet is for sharing porn.

Clown College and disturbing Instruxions

2007-02-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

I have finished my nephew's sweater. It's Auspicious Coincidences from Compassionate knitting but I have taken to calling it the Clown College Sweater because of all the orange. So much orange. Since orange makes my sister happy though, I'm happy with it.

The buttons once again are courtesy of the UK knitty that sent me lots of buttons, Suzzane. I like the way they look, sort of subdued compared to the riot that is the rest of this thing. I had planned to put six different buttons on it from my collection but thought better of it and used these simple wooden ones.

Pattern: Auspicious Coincidences.

Yarn: Odd balls of Sugar and Cream Cotton leftover from the Christmas Dishcloths.

Needles: Clover/Takumi Size 7 bamboo 24" circs for the body and the same brand but DPNs ( I put point protectors on the ends and used them like straight needles) for the fronts. Addi Turbo size 5s for the trim.

Adjustments: The fronts match and the sleeves match though the pattern calls for randomness. This is because I was too lazy to be random.
Things I learned from this pattern: Knitting in ends sucks almost as much as weaving in ends. I stull suck at finishing work as you can see from the fact that the stripes don't line up in the front.

I don't ever feel the need to make this sweater again. Too hard. Actually it's all very simple and boring, it's just that all those endslead to me wanting to scream and scream and then scream some more. I'm just really glad to be done with this thing.

And now I'd like to leave you with this insanity. I got lunch at Rally's yesterday and this weirdness was on the side of the bag. I'm not sure what to be concerned about out by most, the fact that they advise you to cram a cat in a fast food bag, that they feel the need to emphasize that you should use YOUR cat, or that they spelled 'instructions' with an X. And just so you know when you get the cat in the bag it looks like it's wearing a basketball jersey and gold necklaces.

It's all very disturbing. It would seem that they invite you to submit and view these pictures at a website devoted to something I'm sure PETA has problems with.

That is the randomness of the week.

You can't take us anywhere.

2007-02-22T08:10:00.000-08:00

I have no knitting to show off today. I need to finish the Clown College (aka Auspicious Coincidences) Sweater by Sunday but I hate working on it so I have no idea if that will happen. I've been adding an inch to the sleeves for the past two days but that means they're only 3" long now. Too many ends. Never again!

Since I have no knitting to speak of I'll tell you about my weekend in Maryland a few weeks ago.

I went out to visit my friend Tonka who's going through a hellish divorce. The blonde in the picture with him is his cousin who for the duration of this story shall be known as Syrrah (she's from Texas, as is Tonka) because throught the story I'd like to tell she was hammered, though you could probably tell by the fact that she's trying to do bunny ears on him from like 25 feet away.

Anyway, on Saturday night Tonka decided we should all just drink. That was the plan. I am not good at adhering to any plan no matter how simple. In order to foul up this very simple evening I got another friend of ours who lives one state over to drive down and hang out with us, Garrison Keillor (so called because of his very soothing almost condecending NPR type of voice). That in and of itself didn't ruin Tonka's evening in the bottle, it was the fact that GK arrived hungry thus forcing us all to go eat something which involves driving, an activity that is notoriously incompatable with drinking.

Well, Kaylee (a lightweight) and Syrrah had both had a few drinks before we left and Syrrah only weighs about 12 pounds so she was tipsy, add to that some kind of fruity pink drink at the restaurant and you have a recipe for entertainment value. Especially at the place we went to: a Japanese Hibachi place where the chef cooks the food at your table. If you haven't been to a place of this type I'll describe it for you:

The hibachi table sort of 'C' shaped and the chef stands inside of it at the grill which is a stainless steel sheet. Around the outside edge is a counter/bar where the patrons sit. There was room at our table for eight people, since there were only five of us another (unfortunate) couple had been seated at the other end. The chef will make all of the food with great showmanship, spinning and cracking eggs with his (butcher's) knife and chopping up an onion and stacking it so it looks like a volcano (they spray something flamamble in it and fire shoots out the top).

Seating chart:
Veggie Lady, Veggie Man, empty seat, Kaylee, GK, Me, Syrrah, Tonka

So we're all sitting at this table with some people we've never met and come to find out that the couple is vegetarian and won't eat anything that touches our food because it ours has meat in it. Kaylee mocked those people for the rest of the night. I'm not sure whether or not they heard her. Now you as readers of my blog, know that I can be an asshole, what you don't know is that Kaylee is never like that. She's sweet and wonderful and generally the kind of person that you want to hate for her multi-multitalented ability to do absolutely anything but you can't hate her because she's just so damn wonderful. It would seem that hard cider really takes care of that because she was just merciless with her comments all night. Made funnier by the fact that she was using a poor stage whisper to say them which I couldn't hear since she was on the side I don't hear well from so then GK had to repeat it all for me.

Meanwhile, Syrrah is sucking down her fruity pink drink. As the chef, a terse but otherwise pleasant Japanese man, finished up our food and packed up his cart to move on to the next table Syrrah says to him, "Uno mas onion volcano!" in her flat voweled Texan accent. The confused chef looks at her bows his head and keeps going so she shouts after him, "UNO MAS!" and continutes to shout it about three or four more times as he walked away prompting me to turn to her and remind her that he probably doesn't speak Spanish as GK and I laugh uncontrollably.

For the rest of the night we randomly shouted out "UNO MAS!" whenever things were getting dull and started cracking up all over again.

After dinner we gathered at Tonka's place for the drinking to commence and ended up playing Asshole, a drinking card game which no ammount of explaination could make Syrrah understand. I won't go into the specifics of the game but if you've played it you know about the ranks and everything. She was the asshole for most of the game and just couldn't stop running her mouth to the President. I think she went and passed out at like 9:30.

And that's what I did on my summer vacation.

Showing off.

2007-02-20T09:00:00.000-08:00

Veste Everest is finished. I actually finished it the day before I was supposed to give it to my MIL, talk about getting in under the wire! I don't have a picture of her in it yet, she hasn't tried it on, but here's one of my mom modeling it. She made me promise not to put her hair or pants in the picture, hence the Marie Antionette look (please also note my own shadow in this very fine photo, prize-winning photography here at Stuff I Typed, I know it's why I have all 5 of my fans).

Yarn: I used Patons Decor in Barn Red. I purchased five balls, thought I was going to run out and got two more, and only ended up using four and a half.

Needles: Cheapass Susan Bates pink aluminum needles in size 7, Addi Turbo size 5s for the ribbing.

Things I learned from this project: purling through the back loop blows (ribbing).

Adjustments: I did an extra pattern repeat to make the body longer, I could have even done one more it would seem, that is one short vest. I think I switched needle sizes to get gauge, I can't recall now. I haven't looked at the pattern in awhile.

All in all I'm happy with it, I only made one mistake and only I can see it and when it's on no one can see it. I think I did a nice job on it and I feel very accomplished at having completed an entire garment, especially one with cables. It was an easy pattern to memorize and very good to take along different places. I reccomend it as a good cable starter pattern.

In other news, I've cast on for the sleeves of my nephew's sweater and there's not a moment to lose since there's a baby shower on Sunday. I'm going to have to haul ass. I will never do that project again. I'm knitting in the ends as I go and I still want to just scream or puke or both. Too many fucking ends!!! You'd think I'd have noticed that before, right?

Next up will be Red Todd Kidd's other sock, I supose I should reward him for getting that new job! And then I might, just might, make a sweater for Lucky. That boy is in need of some clothes that fit. Also he wears a size small (if you add six inches in length to the thing, lol) so it's not the usual miles of boring that most guy sweaters end up being. We'll see.

And then there were two.

2007-01-27T00:07:00.000-08:00

Check it out. My awesomeness knows no bounds today. I went and finished another of these things. (You can click on the pics for larger sizes) The yarn is Keohinani's very first handspun. She dyed it too, if I remember right. I've been waiting for something awesome to come along for this yarn and like magic it finally did. The buttons are more from Suzanne. I'm really diggin' on having two buttons, it feels more stable to me.

I altered the pattern this time, I took it down 12 stitches but did the same number of rows. If I had it to do over I wouldn't have. I was trying to ensure that I had enough yarn but as it turns out I have more left over than I used. Not enough to run through it one more time with the right number of stitches of course; just slightly more than half. I like it, I just wish it was wider over the ears.

I did start a Swell vbut I'm going to frog it first thing. I hate that pattern. It's very badly written, blech. A shame since I love the wave pattern (despite the fact that it's got you traveling the yarn 8 sts in one spot). Maybe I'll try to incorporate it into something else. Well, it's already tomorrow, I'm going to bed!

Ta-Da!

2007-01-26T10:21:00.000-08:00

So I dropped everything I was doing to knit up this Calorimetry for my upcoming trip to Maryland. It's supposed to snow, highs in the 30's. I've never seen snow. I've never been any colder than 40 degree weather. I'm freaking out.

Anyway, I knit this up in an evening. I did mine on US7's though the pattern calls for US8's because I wanted it smaller. The button I used was a cute wooden toggle button that either Rain or Suzanne sent me. I know it came from an awesome UK knitty, sorry gals, I can't remember which! I used the second to last ball of the Knit Picks Andean Silk (in Cranberry) that Megan sent me.

I'm thinking of making another out of some handspun Keohinani sent me but I'm afraid there won't be enough. The pretty green/blue/purples are begging to be something and it's SO soft. Maybe I should just try it...

I need to make a proper hat and I was going to make Swell but EVERYONE had a problem with the pattern so I'm to scared to start it. Suggestions are welcome.

P.S. Like my pink chenille robe? I love to dress up for you.

Nephew Destined for Clown College.

2007-01-23T23:57:00.000-08:00

I'll give you a tiny sneek peek of my soon-to-be-new nephew's sweater (Auspicious Coincidences from Compassionate Knitting) that I started yesterday. I'm not sure if I was possessed or if baby sweaters are just THAT speedy but I'm almost through the body and onto the sleeves. The thing is a riot of color. I'm pretty sure the only place it wouldn't be an eyesore is at a clown college. The Bright Freaking Orange* trim isn't going to make matters better. Oh well, my sister will love it because it's striped, orange, and insane. I may have it finished by the end of the week since I'm knitting in the ends as I go to avoid the mad number of ends on the thing.

*The orange is so bright that on a pervious project I had to put it down every few minutes to readjust my eyes. I started seeing blue everywhere because of that whole negative image thing. It's so bright that it should come with some kind of a warning label telling you not to stare directly at it since, like the sun, it causes blindness, as opposed to the sweater that just makes you WISH for blindness.

Keohinani had a meme that required actual thought! I decided to run with it, consider yourself tagged if you feel like being tagged.

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

Your Name: Sarah

1. Actor: Sylvester Stallone
2. 4 letter word: sock ( bet you thought I'd go for a REAL 4 letter word, didn't ya?)
3. Street name: Sisson St. (It's in Boston)
4. Color: sage
5. Gift/present: sweets
6. Vehicle: Suzuki Swift
7. Tropical Location: St. Bart's
8. College Major: Sociology
9. Dairy Product: Smetana
10. Thing in a Souvenir Shop: snowglobes!
11. Boy Name: Seth
12. Girl Name: Sally
13. Movie Title: Silverado
14. Beer: Schlitz heh
15. Occupation: Smarmy Salesman
16. Flower: Snapdragon
17. Celebrity: Susan Sarandon
18. Magazine: Seventeen
19. U.S. City: Springfield

Get a job, Mom.

2007-01-22T11:41:00.000-08:00

I've finished the back of Veste Everest and it's perfect. Seriously, it looks like someone else entirely knit the thing. That ought to skyrocket my pride up into the overconfident stratosphere leading to all manner of trouble with the front, don't you think?

Well, I can't be too proud with Darth around to knock me back to reality. Today he asked (for the zillionth time) when we'd be going to Disneyland. It finally broke down and gave him a more straight answer than the one I had been using ("When Lola Beans gets bigger, so you can both ride the rides.") and said, "Disneyland costs a lot of money and we don't have a lot of money." Then he told me to get a job. Fantastic.

You know me, I told that kindergartener in no uncertain terms what exactly my job entails and how if I wasn't here to do my job that he'd be really sad, unclothed, lonely, etc. You know, really put him in his place. He started crying. Fantastic.

By the time we got to school he was over it, though through the course of the conversation he got more upset before he got better. I suppose I didn't have to tell him that he had 12 more years of school to look forward to before college and that he has to go to college to make lots of money so he can take his kids to Disneyland but somehow, it just came out. I never know the right thing to say so I think I'm just trudging through life trying to say the MOST wrong thing.

On to the knitting: I'm planning projects. My new nephew to be is getting the Auspicious Coincidences Baby Sweater from Compassionate Knitting (If you take a look at the inside pages, it's the top left on the very first page of pics). I have a bunch of cotton oddballs that are perfect for this thing so I'm forgoing the Ninja Suit idea for the time being in favor of the idea that will only cost me $4.50 (a few extra whole balls to use for the trim).

I have succumbed to the awesomeness that is Eunny Jang. I will be knitting up her Endpaper Mitts for my mom sooner or later, I just ordered the yarn. If I don't completely suck at those I'm going to make a go at the Anemoi Mittens even though I have absolutely no need for mittens basically ever. I can't help it, they're just so freaking awesome! If I go really insane I'll also make ones that have earth, water, and fire motifs. I don't anticipate anyone needing to worry about that happening. I don't think I'll even make it to buying the pattern letalone knitting it up or designing my own. I have an Aran sweater to design and knit this year.

And the camera is back!

2007-01-10T12:14:00.000-08:00

All that lovely stuff is from Pam. She sends a fantabulous package doesn't she? Some of the stuff isn't even there, the kids had already high-tailed it with the candy bracelets and little pills that turn into animal shaped sponges when you put them in water. They could have died from the awesomeness, by the way. Both of them love stuff that turns into other stuff. Does anyone else remember how fast you could transform a Transformer as a kid only to grow up to totally suck at it? That's what I learned from Christmas: Mom can't figure out the Transformers for crap.

Anyway, Pam sent me a ton of stuff including some Patons SWS (Soy Wool Stripes) which I've wanted to try, frou frou smelly vanilla stuff, bomb homemade hot chocolate mix and marshmallows (one of my son's favorite things), a spiffy new knitting bag, the aforementioned treats for the kids, and last but not least: my very own pair of knitting gloves! I was totally stoked to get them I've been thinking of cannibalizing and old sweater to make some mitts for my freezing fingers but now I don't have to. Truly an awesome gift that I was practically giddy over. They room in my knitting caddy so that I can pull them on when the temperature drops. I'm toying with the idea of moving one of the fingers over because I had no idea I used my right ring finger while I knit but I do. Though now that I'm working on something other than the socks for RTK, it's not as much of an issue. The naughts (size 0 DPNs for the uninitiated) really got tangled up but I think it's because there were so many as oposed to just the two size 7s I've got going now.

Yeah, I've got a dead line for Veste Everest so the other sock can wait a bit. To tell the truth I'm still mad that I had to rip out that beautiful top to replace it with plain old boring ribbing. Okay, I didn't even rip it out, I had to cut it off and pray I didn't lose the whole damn thing. As you can see I didn't but I'm not in a huge hurry to start the next one. It's one of those projects you can't take with you since you carry the yarn through most of it you have three balls attatched to tangle up around each other.I've included a nice close up of the yarn here so you could see the pretty colors. I really do like them, so at least something worked out. Red Todd Kidd tried this one on and ended up wearing it the whole night, it was pretty funny.
I mentioned the peg-leg to him but I don't think he's going to go for it. Of course one of you all pointed out that if he did have a peg leg I'd probably have to knit it a cozy.

I fell off the ground last night. I was walking out to the car to put groceries away and just fell right off the walk into the grass. Yet, somehow I still managed to slam both my knees down on the concrete. That's the kind of thing that never happens when you're by yourself but when you have both your parents, little brother, best friend, and husband standing there...

How was that for a non sequitor? Lastly, I'll leave you with the begginings of Veste Everest for my MIL. She likes red but rather than the darker tones I enjoy she likes the really bright reds. I'm using Patons Decor because it's soft, bright, and washable while still containing enough wool that it will block well. If this turns our well I'm going to use the same yarn in a white or off white for my mom's aran sweater if I ever get around to it. I've discovered that I do like cables. They don't vex me like lace work or color work. I've been having a fairly relaxing time knitting this up so far. Though, now that I've said it, I'm sure disaster looms just ahead, you know how that goes.

I wish I could show you what I've been up to...

2007-01-04T11:10:00.000-08:00

...but I can't. I left my camera at my sister's house on New Year's and so I can't quite show you the sock I made for Red Todd Kidd. Yes only one, he has a peg leg as all good pirates do. Okay not really but after doing an 80 stitch sock that I ended up having to rip the beautifully braided top out of because it was too small to get over his heel, I'm not ready to cast on for the second one yet.

What I can show you is the pattern picture from Folk Socks, so that's what I've done here. Look to the left and marvel at the socks that look remarkably unlike the one sock I have just completed.

My version is in the yarn called for (Wildfoote, which is a little splitty but liveable) but in different colors. I've used Zane Grey ( a similarly tweeded looking yarn for the main color), Black Orchid (as called for), and Gunsmoke (instead of white). I also went up a needle size and I'm glad I did because there's no way these would have fit otherwise.

I got to do a bit of colorwork with these, the braided pattern on the top is done by switching colors while purling which tangles the yarn like crazy but makes for a beautiful result that can cut off the circulation of any man's leg with little effort. It's something I'll definately try again for a sleeve detail or something but never for the top of a sock!

Also, I hate the heel in these. Luckily RTK is fine with it and that's all that matters to me.

These shall be his lucky socks. They will get him a fantabulous new job. I have decided it.

Also in the works is Veste Everest from IK Fall 2005. I'm going to my LYS today to get the yarn for it. It's for my MIL for her birthday in February. I think I'll be able to do it since I'm pretty good with cables and it doesn't have sleeves. I'll be adding a bit of length to it as I don't think she'll be hot for wearing a belly shirt (oh, I wish you could view my mental picture of that). We'll see how I do. I've been actually knitting since October after being so patchy about it in the past year, I'm excited to see if I can finish some real projects this year.

A New Year's Eve Warning

2006-12-28T14:30:00.000-08:00

We've all done it at some point. Called up a friend or an ex or a significant other while completely wasted. The thing is, sometimes you leave evidence. Sometimes you get the voice mail or the answering machine and your better judgement who was sitting next to you three drinks ago is now passed out on the floor so you leave a message. Everyone else is going to warn you about drunk driving but not me, I assume my readers know better. I'm here to warn you off of the phone this New Year's Eve and I'll do it with these two stories:

Only once before had this happened to me and it was a doozie. At a party at a friend's house, the first time I had been out to really have a good time since my son was born, my friends made it their mission to get me so blitzed I didn't even know what country I was in. After several rounds of a drinking game and an entire bottle of tequila between the six of us, I called Red Todd Kidd to tell him I wasn't going to make it home (the designated driver had literally had tequila poured down his throat Tijuana style) and could not figure out why he didn't pick up the phone. You see I called his work number. I actually left an incoherant message while someone whom I'd nicknamed Paddy McMick (I had jumped him into my gang* and that was his gang name, it's another story for another day) was singing Tura Lura Lural at the top of his lungs in the background. I have no idea what I said in this message but true to his awesome nature, Red Todd Kidd has never given me a hard time about the incident. I however, have never stopped giving a hard time to The Single Letter (the planned designated driver) over his two famous quotes** of the night, or the fact that when we did leave the next morning I had to drive.

My second drunk dialing incident happened in November at Edina's birthday party (you may know her as belely from the knittyboard). We were out at a restaurant and ended up waiting for several hours for everyone to show up, by which point we had had many drinks and no food. Edina had had twice as many drinks as anyone else since it was her birthday we were all ordering them for her. It began to look like she wasn't going to make it through the party. So we started a pool on when she was going to lose it, and by "it" I mean her lovely dinner of tequila and whatever that peach stuff was. Right now I know you're thinking, "So that's what she's like in real life, what a bitch!" Well, yeah kinda, but it was all in fun and I rarely go out like this so cut me some slack.

Anyway, a few days later I check my voicemail and I get this message:

Later on when Edina asks why she took a picture of Lucky*** it's because she said, "This is a picture of Lucky losing," after she threw _____ at him because we took bets on when she was going to throw up and he said she owed him ____ [expletive deleted] dollars and [expletive deleted] Napolean _________ [expletive deleted] ___________ and now I've drunk dialed myself.

At first I'm baffled as to who the hell it is and the third time through the message I realize it's me. It took four more run throughs to figure out what the heck I was saying. Then I had to call up Edina and tell her about it so we could laugh our asses off. I don't know if the message would be funnier or less funny without the garbled indechipherable sections but without a CSI unit to enhance the recording, I'll never know.

I've been waiting to tell this story until Edina sent me the picture in question but I'm beginning to think she never will so I'm just going to post this with old pictures of the persons in question (the ones I chose are one of Edina and Red Todd Kidd from like two years ago because it's cute and one of Lucky with Darth and Lola Beans because it will make you wonder why I let him around the kids, it kinda looks like Lola is flipping him off, and lastly because my first pair of hand knitted socks ever are in the pic) and update you with the real pics (and a bonus pic of Lucky wearing his boxers outside his pants a la Madonna from last weekend) when I finally get them. Because I'm sure they'll be hilarious.

*In high school a friend of mine declared that I was the leader of a gang. She called this gang Sarah's Gang or SG. She ran around for a long time punching people and telling them they had been jumped into my gang and then giving them rediculous gang names. Years later Edina and I revived this tradition just for the hell of it at a party one night. It went on for another two years after that.

** Quote 1: Not my boots! Without my boots how can I be southern!? Quote 2: Roll me over, that's how Hendrix went out!

***The heretofore only unnicknamed member of my real life friends, has now been dubbed Lucky Champagne for blogging purposes due to his penchant for Lucky cigarettes and Miller High Life. I know it's a lame nickname but that's why it works.

On a roll

2006-12-13T12:17:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you hit your stride. I didn't think I'd finish my Christmas knitting letalone another project (however small). But here it is, another project. I whipped up this little sucker mostly yesterday. It's the Spiral Rib Bag from One Skein (it's not one of the patterns you can see on the viewable pages). Mine is knit up in some Colinette ribbon yarn (they show the color better than I can!) that I had no idea what I'd ever use it for. I had two substantial skeins of it at one point but gave the nice one away to an SP. So then I was left with this other skein of beautiful, expensive yarn I couldn't throw out but also couldn't untangle. After something like four hours one day (I had to lock the cat in the bathroom because she, having never done anything like it before, decided that the umbrella swift was her nemesis and that it had to be destroyed) managed to turn that tangled skein into three small balls. Then I was faced with what to do with them. For well over a year they've been in a box, almost a little bag, almost a small scarf, almost, almost, almost. Then I came across this pattern and thought, maybe.

As it turned out I couldn't get gague with it. The width was right but the rows were about half what they should be, or so I thought. So instead of doing the pattern 1 1/2 times I did it twice and enede up with a taller bag, go figure. I went crazy with the I-cord last night and ended up with a good 10 extra inches of that too. Good thing too, it still seems short to me.

All in all it's a nice little gift for someone when I'm unprepared later this month. I think it may actually go to Darth's Teacher at the end of this week. Though, Edina would like it. I have enough yarn left that I might be able to make a second one. If not, the bottom is knit last so I could use a different yarn for that or felt a disk to sew on or something. I should line it but you all know how I feel about sewing. Meh!

What next? Um... I'm thinking I'd like to try to knit a sweater for a friend of mine now that Knit Picks has a superwash available. I'm thinking Durrow which I'm totally in love with. I wonder if I have the staying power for a whole sweater. I seem to be getting better at finishing things but there's a Harry Potter scarf under my bed that says otherwise. The thought of trying to finish that makes me want to cry. Or throw up. Or both.

Christmas letter

2006-12-12T11:22:00.000-08:00

As a remedy for the bragfest letters your family will be sending you, here's a little something from La Casa de la Overlord.

Dear You,

2006 is coming to a close and so I find it's time to sum it up painfully in a month by month letter that no one really wants to read but feels obligated to anyway.

January found me trying to write a serial that I only ever posted a few chapters of before the obligation bogged me down and I quit. I quit a lot of things in January. That was the theme. While others were resolving to make their lives better and brighter I wallowed in the failure of never completing anything. Then I threw away all my shoes and unfinished objects and got over myself.

In February I resolved to lose some poundage. I lost 10 lbs this year (I gained 12). It was a month of mixed emotion as I finally finished a few projects and then (in an unrelated incident) almost died. Yeah, that blew.

March roared in like a lion (as the saying goes), an old friend visited us, I made an adorable stuffed alien for his kid, and much SP goodness was to be had. Oh yeah, and I tricked Tonka into eating marmite flavored crackers. I know some of love that Marmite but for me it's just a great practical joke. The face he made when the swell of flavor rose from the back of his throat (which is where you really start to taste the marmite) was just priceless. I'll treasure the memory always.

My birthday rolled around in April, as it seems to do every year around that time, and I was flustered by Crumpets, the pattern from hell. I spent most of the month fighting with it before finally giving up and giving the yarn away. I started my first pair of adult sized socks that month too.

May saw me finish my Jaywalkers which I don't think my MIL has ever worn. I also threw Miss Beans a birthday party that she slept through because she was sick. Oh, and I accidently pinched a nerve in my hand that left my thumb numb for well over a month. I did have some success with a really cute Kate variation that Miss Beans actually plays with now and again.

Summer vacation came to vex me in June but I coped. I decided to make cloth diapers to help get Miss Beans ready to use the potty embarking on a months long journey into dispair. We had some fun that month taking Darth to his first county faire. My sister graduated from college. I completely fell off of the diet wagon. I slacked off like summer always sees me do.

July was a hard month, I found out a good friend from my youth had died of cancer a year before and no one had told me. The diaper making process really got on a roll and I was feeling like I worked in a sweatshop. I dove into cooking and started thinking of going to the local culinary acadamey (see, there are things about me you don't know). I cut off all my hair after growing it out for three years. RTK and I had some troubles but got through.

In August I was really ephing busy. I got the diapers finished. I learned to crocet an edging. I gave up and enrolled Darth in the local school's kindergarten even though we were supposed to be moving any second.

September was the start of my baby boy's first year of real school. Also I started writing erotica and realized my writing style is more informative than flowery. I dropped the erotica pretty completely by November.

October is always one of my favorite months but this year I was pretty down. I cheered myself up with a new tattoo and later elevated my masochism to new heights with cake decorations. I discovered there was a travesty worse than the Overalls of Shame.

Last month I started my Christmas projects fully expecting not to finish even half of what I planned but somehow I surprised myself and actually hunkered down and got it ALL done. I'm actually doing a bit of extra now since it's all gravy from here.

When all is said and done this year was mostly pretty bad. It was a hard year emotionally and a lot of really bad things happened. I'm glad it's nearly over both literally and figuratively. As Lewis Black said, there really isn't any such thing as years, time is something we made up so it really doesn't matter, it's all basically the same thing over and over. But I'm hopeful that next year is going to be better. I've learned in this year full of crap that I can put up with a lot more than I thought. That I can be more patient. That I can let things go. I generally don't do any of that but I can and next year I'm going to. I've also seen that I can finish what I start and I intend to do more of that. It really won't take much effort to have a better year than 2006 and I'm ready to make a minimal effort! Woo-hoo for minimal effort!

Merry Solstichramadahanukwanzaa and a Happy New Year (and a belated one to our Jewish friends),
Sarah

That Damn Christmas Meme

2006-12-07T12:15:00.000-08:00

I give in.

NAME: Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fana Bo Besca III

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate. I have a hot chocolate maker. I have my own recipe. I am a crazy.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Santa only brings things that fit inside a Christmas stocking. All the big presents come from Mom and Dad because no fictional fat man is taking credit for my work. But I'm not bitter.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? My Christmas decorations are in storage. I honestly don't recall what kind of lights are on the tree. I do know that we had the red and green only strands up in my living room, though.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? We have a fake mistle toe ball at my mom's house that no one is required to kiss under. At Red Todd Kidd's parents' house they hang mistletoe over the spot in the kitchen that gets the most traffic. I am not thrilled with this tradition.

5. When do you put your decorations up? I like to do it the first weekend of December.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? RTK's family does pork tenderloin with biscuts and gravy. I like it.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: The year the Christmas play at church had my cousin had to be a giant popcorn ball. That or the year that my sister's part in the play required an English accent and the best she could muster was Austrailian. I still remember her line, say it in your head like Crocodile Dundee if you can. "Hey ole chaps, this town is mine! Look, there's me house and me mum standin' outside. This is jolly old England, it is!" Stereotype city, I know, but I bet you're cracking up.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? When I was seven years old my mom married my step dad (in October). That year Santa labeled all my Christmas presents with the name Sarha instead of Sarah, just like Dad.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? I don't think so.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Uh, you take the decorations out of the boxes and put them on the tree, what are you? New or something?

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? What is this snow you speak of?

12. Can you ice skate? Believe it or not I can.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? Uh, is it really sad that I can't remember a favorite? The Nintendo back in '88? The Cabbage Patch Kid of '83? Perhaps the Lexie Barnes bag from last year? Honestly, I can't pick out something that just made me swoon.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Cookies.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? See above. Or maybe fudge. I do like fudge.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I suppose I could say the cookies again but really it's the horrible gift exchange that begat the Overalls of Shame and now the Velvet Painting Purse.

17. What tops your tree? I forgot what we have for our tree. Clearly it holds great sentimental value. Though, when my parents were first married they had this tree topper that wasn't anything. It was just a weird light up thing that sat on the top of the tree. It was hideous. When we moved in 1998, I found it and put it away in my things thinking it'd be funny to swap it out with the really nice angel Mom has now and just make her flip out. Last year, I finally got around to doing it. It was pretty funny since I hid the angel and then we left for Arizona for several days.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? What kind of question is this? Get you mind out of the gutter, we're supposed to be talking about Christmas!

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? I like The Carol of the Bells. It's fun to belt out O Holy Night when no one is around.

20. Candy Canes? Of course. You have to suck on them until you've sharpened them to a point so you can menace your siblings with a slobery, candy weapon.

Yes, we have no bananas.

2006-12-05T09:04:00.000-08:00

The conversation I just witnessed, to preface, Lola wanted a banana for breakfast and was told they were all gone.

Darth: I'm gonna tell you a joke Lola, okay?
Lola: Okay.
Darth: Knock-knock.
Lola: Who's there?
Darth: Banana.
Lola: No Darth, bananas all gone!
Darth: No, you say, "Banana who?"
Lola: Okay.
Darth: Knock-knock.
Lola: Who's there?
Darth: Banana.
Lola: Banana who?
Darth: Knock-knock.
Lola: Who's there?
Darth: Banana.
Lola: No! Bananas all gone!

I can't wait until they learn "Who's on First".

So anyway, things are chugging along here. I finished the dishcloths, the scarf, and my mom's necklace badge holder thingy. All that's left is the last half of SIL's second glove and a cup warmer for her boyfriend. I am so close. I wonder what disaster lurks just ahead to confound and destroy me. A plague of moths, perhaps? Our state breaking off the continent and drifting away into the Pacific? The zombie uprising I've been dreading for so long? I can't say what it will be but I know it's coming. It lurks outside my view in wait of the time when I cast off that last project to smite me. I know it.

Ahem.

In other news:

I bought Mason-Dixon Knitting and returned it. I love it, I can't recommend it enough. I just needed that $30 more. I'll buy it when I have a 40% off coupon for Michael's. I don't know why but for the last couple years I've been compelled to make rugs. I haven't given in just yet but Mason-Dixon makes me really want to give in. Really.

I'm rushing through the last of the holiday knitting so I can attempt my first crochet project. A little purse in One Skein. The rectangle one for those who have the book. I don't know why I'm so in love with it but I actually bought a hook. I promise I won't go over to the dark side, you all know how much I hate to crochet.

Lastly, I realize that there are only 14 dishcloths on the tree. That's because I already gave my mom hers.

Shine on, Cheapass Christmas, shine on.

2006-11-28T16:12:00.000-08:00

Craftster is like a sick obsession. Wallowing through all the crap people make out of other crap to find those rare few awesome ideas can lead to hours upon hours of feeling alternately elated, exasperated, inadaquate, and nauseous. Often at the same time. I spent an evening staring at craftster a couple weeks ago and was left with two revelations: #1 I needed a Dremel, #2 most of the people on cratster need to lay off the crack. In fact, so deep was this need for a Dremel that the next morning when I woke up the first thing I said to Red Todd Kidd was, "I need a Dremel." Now you may not know this (Sarcasm! sarcasm!) but RTK puts up with a lot. A LOT. I start all kinds of crazy projects and most never make it out of the planning stages letalone get finished. So of course he just laughed and we went on about our day.

I never did shut up about the Dremel. I talked about it non-stop for two days. Finally RTK gave in and bought it for me as an early Christmas present. He's the best, ain't he? I have so many projects lined up for that thing that I'm busting at the seams trying to contain myself until I've finished all my Christmas projects.

Now, aside from the desperate need for power tools I did spy something that turned out to be important. Some girl or other had made a tote bag out of a velvet painting. Not two days later as Darth and I are walking home from school there was a 2 1/2' x 5' velvet painting with a hole in the corner in someone's yard that had a sign stating: "Free". As you can see, Darth and I ripped that sucker right off its frame and took it home.

For those who don't know about this yet, my cousins and I do a gift exchange where you may only spend $10 and you must make your gift yourself. Behold the velvet purse (lined with a bedsheet) I made from the neighbors' discarded painting. Isn't it horrifying? I purchased a zipper, metal loops and ribbon. Thus far I have invested all of $4. PLease note the snakeprint on the ribbon. I assure you this was only because this was the only ribbon Wal-Mart had in the correct width. I'm thinking I may make a matching coin purse. Does cheapass Christmas get any better than this? I think not.

I've nearly finished a glove for the SIL, I'll show it to you once it's done. 11.5 discloths done, 4.5 to go. I volunteered a scarf for FIL but luckily I actually have one that's nearly done I can give him and no it's not the Harry Potter one. A cup warmer for SIL's boyfriend is in the works. A beaded badge holder necklace thing for mom too. I'm headed to the crazy house people! At least this year it seems like I may actually get everything done. Shouldn't there be some kind of prize for this? Wait, I think creating that purse made me inelligible for any kind of kudos. Oh well.

Blogstalking: Trinket

2006-11-17T15:42:00.000-08:00

This week's blog stalking is: "...a little something nearby that's been around for longer than you can remember, and you don't know why you still have it, but for some reason you can't get rid of it?"

I have one of those and it's coming up but when I took its picture I started snapping a few others. This one (to the left) is of several tchotchkes that sit out on my bookshelf. Let me tell you about them.

I have no idea what Kennywood is. I'm told it's not Kenny Rogers' version of Dollywood. I was disapointed. The shot glass belongs to Red Todd Kidd and it has pins and whatnot in it. The snake and the monkey I found in a shop one day on clearance and purchased because RTK and I were born in the year of the snake and monkey (respectively), the kids were also born in those years, weird, eh? The little mug that says San Francisco is from my childhood. I've had it since I was at least four. I don't know its story but I do know the one behind the Wild Animal Park cup. The WAP cup is the kind they call a souvenier cup but really isn't the quality of something you'd save. That's part of why I saved it. I also saved it to torment my Brother in Law with. That's still coming as soon as I figure out something to do with it. It's already been two years that I've saved that damn thing. Please also note the book on the Fourteen Dalai Lamas flanked by a book titled Rage and two Sin City books, I didn't pose them, we are that hypocritical.

Next up we have the mysterious elephant bead. I clearly remember this having something to do with my friend Bish. I also remember it being on a cord with other beads once upon a time. What happened there is unknown to me as I fried most of my brain cells from those years. Also in the drawer holding the elephant bead are notes from knitties and knitbloggers, matches, lighters, and weird stuff I've saved for no real reason. You can see RTK's braid from when he cut off his hair as well as one of the two New Hampshire state quarters I was going to find a way to make cuff links out of for my friend The Single Letter. He is not from New Hampshire and has never lived there. Yes, I know we're strange people. I know you may also be wondering why I've burried a fridge magnet my son made in a drawer (you can't see it but it's adorable) and the answer is because the thing is made out of a piece of slate and it won't stay on the fridge. I need a stronger magnet but keep forgetting to get one.

Lastly, we have the thing that truly fits the category: the butterfly pill box. I honestly don't know where this came from. I've had it as long as I can remember. I do remember picking off the enamel to see if the picture was printed underneath it when I was about five. You can see the paint is coming off and it's in terrible shape. It likely came from a dollar store. I don't even like butterflies. And yet it's packed away, safely in my jewelry box, away from little hands. I can't get rid of it. We humans are strange aren't we? I bet there's no chimp carting around a little rock just because he's been holding it longer than he recalls.

I remember, when I was little, I thought it was a box to keep a butterfly in because it looked like it had an air hole in it (it's actually the spot where the button on the front to open it is attached). Because I know it kills me with curiosity when people post things like this without telling what they keep in it I'll show you. Earrings. It's been holding earrings since 1994 or so and I bought a bunch of little studs shaped like random stuff at a faire, though most of the ones in it now belong to RTK. Some of the ones in there are piercing studs fom the eleventy billion times I've had my ears pierced and repierced. For some reason, I can't throw those out either.

So there you have it, my trinkets.

In knitting news, I started the gloves for SIL, have completed 10 of 16 dishcloths, and created yet another project for myself.

How much I hate crochet:

2006-11-13T12:50:00.000-08:00

I hate it so much that even though I bought one of those comfort hooks and am becoming fairly proficiant, I'd rather attempt to make a doily than a granny square. Evidence of this is to the left. You see I've been hammering out those Bandwagon discloths, one after another, for the last couple weeks. I'm a distracted person with not much time to knit so thus far I've only done eight. When I started the ninth one I realized the colors I had chosen were too close (the blue you see there and another light veriagated blue) and thus the resulting dishcloth was stupid looking. I decided to try another pattern rather than go buy more yarn (hooray for my budget!) but was faced with the question of what pattern to try.

Well, when you have a good 18 balls of Sugar and Cream lying around you're bound to find at least one discloth pattern on a ball band. I found four: two knit (one ugly, one not), two crochet (one hideous, one granny square). I was then faced with a choice like unto Sophie's. Knit a doily discloth, something that looked hard and that I've never even attepmted anything like or crochet a granny square. The mere thought of crocheting a whole project nearly sent me into convultions so I cast on eight stitches and into the circle I went.

As you can see it went well. I was dang proud of that thing when I was done. I have to do a second one which doesn't exactly thrill me but it is a nice break from the Bandwagon cloths (they're like crack, I swear, you just can't put them down).

The funny thing is, when I looked at the finished one I realized that somewhere in storage I have a doily that is done in the same (albeit much finer) style. Beautifully knit in teeny-tiny laceweight cotton thread, it's a star pattern just like that with a fantastic edging that's all pointy. One of my exes had a grandmother who knit amazing lace and that "simple" doily was something that took her an afternoon of boredom. She gave it to me when I was first learning to knit because I was so amazed at the tiny needles she used to make it.

Anyway, I'm making progress on my Christmas knitting. Nine dishcloths down, seven to go (notice how the number grew?). I also have one pair of gloves and the Red Todd Kidd project which is likely to be back burnered since it's a time consuming one and I don't think I'll be able to start it in time. Sigh.

Class photos and global warming.

2006-11-07T10:22:00.000-08:00

(Click the pics for larger views if you feel like it)

Looking out the window at the gloomy, brisk November day I can't help but think, IT'S 86 FUCKING DEGREES OUTSIDE, WTF!? Seriously, I'd really rather be at the beach today, it's blindingly hot and by noon it should be at least three degrees hotter. I wouldn't be surprised if it hit 90. In November. If there's anyone left who doesn't believe in global warming I'd like to invite them to sit in the cool coastal breeze here. Nearly 90 in November. Bah!

I've completed another dishcloth and am onto the sixth, progress! I need to also do a pair of gloves for my SIL but since I can't find a decent pattern I might just make her a teacup cozy. Though, I can't seem to find a pattern for that either. I put it to the knitties to find me a teacup cozy pattern and they have, hooray! Also my MIL informed me that that would be a good gift for my FIL too. I have the perfect handspun for the two of them, keohinani sent me her very first handspun and there should be enough for two tea cup cozies, plus then they'll be extra special. I love it when things go my way!

Darth's very first school pictures came in today. They're hilarious. In his individual portrait it looks as though the photographer said, "Smile or I'll kill your your family." In the class photo he's been put dead center, as though he wouldn't stand out enough otherwise. His two best buds are the kid grimacing and looking down in the front row and the kid behind him in the red shirt.

I was going to post my first class photo but sadly, I can't seem to find it. I know it still exists but whether it's in my storage or in the disaster of a cabinet that Mom keeps her photos in, I don't know.

Holiday Knitting

2006-11-03T16:38:00.000-08:00

Can two other words inspire panic, anxiety, loathing, and procrastination in a knitter so much as the two that title today's post? I think not.

I took full advantage of the hella phat yarn sale at Michael's a few weeks back to stock up on cotton yarn ($1 per ball!) for those Bandwagon -er- Ballband Dishcloths. Many thanks to TurtleGirl for pointing me in the direction of this pattern in an online form rather than in a $30 book (that I now covet). The whole point of this insanity is to bring the cost of Christmas to a minimum this year instead of being broke until the end of February as in years past. Whoever is on my list as a "must" is getting a pair of matcing dishcloths. My cost $2 and, of course, time. I'll make up some little goofy limerick about how simplicity and effort are what the holidays are about so as to shame the recipiants into not making a face at the gifts and voila, my wallet is saved.

I'm not just being cheap mind you, this is really all we can afford, it's just that I'm facing up to that this year instead of buying stuff I can't afford anyway.

As you can see from my picture there, I've completed four of the ten planned dishcloths and have started a fifth. Also you may notice that I appear to knit in a lightless cave. I assure you this last bit is untrue, it's just a trick of the flash, or lack thereof, so that I didn't end up with another washed out photo. I couldn't show the items in natural light today as there was very little of it, overcast as the day was here by the shore. You probably will not notice that I did a crochet edging around these things and added a little loop so they can be hung up to dry.

That's right, I did a crochet edging. Me. And it only took me HOURS to do that first one. The second one took fewer hours. The last two I managed to do today (the edgings, not the entire dishcloths plus edgings, I'm not The Flash or anything) and it's only 5:42pm as I write this. Crochet still confounds me and I'm certain I'm doing it wrong but it did neaten up the edges a bit and if it looks bad, well, they're only going to be scrubbing the meatloaf out of the pan anyway, right?

I've mentally commited myself (and not to the asylum, hee-hee) to doing a few more of these if time allows, as well as some sort of gloves for my SIL. I was going to knit socks for my MIL but have decided to do these for her birthday since she's requested a new photo album for her pictures of the kids. I have a super secret project lined up for Red Todd Kidd but since he claims to read this drivvel, I can't tell you about it. I also don't know that I'll have time to do it since making anything for him is rather arduous since I lag on it. I just never think he'll like what I'm making (and have little evidence to the contrary).

Update to the update

2006-11-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

I just picked up the boy from school and the teacher gave him a paper crown. He's insisting on being called "Birthday Boy".

When we got home I asked him to close the gate and he said, "Sure Super Mom!"

So I said, "Thanks, Super Boy!"

To which he replied, "No, Birthday Boy."

"Oh, sorry Super Birthday Boy."

"Sheesh, was that so hard, Mom?"

Oh, Bezzie, the Kindergarten cut-off date in his district is Dec 1, he made it by a month.

Updatish

2006-11-01T12:24:00.000-08:00

Today is Darth's fifth birthday. At this time five years ago I was happily sleeping in a hospital bed, epidural taking care of my woes. He was born in the afternoon, about 3:45. It was a nice day. He's at kindergarten rightnow, which is weird for me. He's never been someplace else on his birthday before.

I should be posting adorable Halloween pictures but the camera got left in the car last night and thus, no pictures yet. The kids were adorable, though. They all said, "Trick or Treat" and "Thank you", though at a few houses, Miss Beans just said, "Pleeeeeeeeeease!" Mis Beans and Tank (my nephew) really cleaned up. We had to empty their bags a few times because even though they weren't full, they were too heavy for two year olds to carry and the bigger kids (my brother, Darth, and Red Todd Kidd) weren't ready to quit yet. They all had a good time and that's the important thing.

So, NaNoWriMo. I had this crazy dream last night that was like a movie. I was thinking about writing it but now I'm thinking not. I can't do NaNoWriMo yet. When Lola is in school and I have some free time durrign the day then maybe but right now, I can barely blog. Though, I'd like to point out I've blogged three days in a row for once! Don't count on this to continue, now that I've spoken of it I've jinxed it for sure.

I have things to show you and I'm so bummed that the camera isn't here! I've got a couple finished Christmas presents and adorable kids in costumes! This is torture! In the mean time enjoy this picture of... um... What do I have a picture of? Okay I scanned a pic of Darth from the day he was born. Red Todd Kidd is holding him. The green jacket he's wearing was lost somewhere along the way, which makes me sad.

Insanity thy name is Turkey Hat.

2006-10-30T18:36:00.000-08:00

A while back I got an email from a knitwear design company proclaiming that they had "A SEXY NEW WEBSITE". Upon opening this email I was greeted with the picture that you see on the left. I'll give you a moment to take it all in.

I'm not sure what the most disturbing thing about this picture really is. Is it the hat? The tea cozy? The fact that someone actullay made it? The fact that someone actually modeled it? Could it be the crazily genuine grin of the model? Perhaps it's the curious tar-like substance on her arms. Whatever it is, I think we can all agree that that whole thing is an image that not even Hunter S. Thompson could concoct on a really bad Thanksgiving acid trip.

My favorite thing about it is that there's more. There's a christmas version featuring the same model in a wrap and hat that would make the jolly red elf, Santa himself, slap the designer with the fury of a cheated pimp. I'm torn as to whether I want to defame this woman for giving knitters a bad name or hail her as a comic genius. Is she a self important designer snob or is she that fun aunt we all wish we had because she makes our mothers crazy? I'm pretty sure she's just insane and should probably be in a home where she can't hurt others but that fine line between criminal insanity and comic gold haunts me, just like the image of that turkey-clown get up will haunt my dreams.

I'm thinking of doing NaNoWriMo. I have an idea. I have no idea where that idea will take me or where it will go. I don't know whether I shoudl even attempt NaNoWriMo this year since it kicked my ass SO hard I could barely sit last year. I want to do it but I don't know if I can commit. Anyone want to talk me into or out of it?

Editted to add: I showed this to Red Todd Kidd who declared that she "can't be serious, there's no way." The we delved deep into the website and have come the conclusion that she must be serious. It's a frightning world out there, readers.

So ahead of my time

2006-10-29T18:12:00.000-08:00

(Click on the pics for larger views)

This week's knitty blogstalking is to post a pic of yourself in a Halloween costume, past or present. As you can see I've posted my Bezzie costume circa 1982, proving once again that I am way ahead of my time. Please not the supermodel pose I've struck on the orange vinyl sofa. I wonder what happened to that afghan... The truly great thing about this photo is that it's from a series of photos whith each one Im pulling a different pose. You see, I've always been odd I just used to be adorable as well. If you want a real trip compare the pic here with the one of Miss Beans at the bottom of this post, cue the theramin music, it's a clone!

So this weekend was Darth's fifth birthday party. I never got around to ordering a cake and so I ended up making one at the last minute. Knowing me that doesn't seem out of the ordinary now, does it? Also knowing me I'm sure you're wondering what kind of multiple rediculous road blocks popped up to threaten the formation of said cake. You may also be wondering what kind of masochistic hurdles I set up for myself since I can never seem to do anything normal like bake a cake with out turning it into an epic saga full of blood sweat and tears (it's a good one this time: I, the person with little artistic ability, decided to make a cake that looked like a treasure chest spilling candy, because tht's a simple Friday night project. For an encore maybe I'll convert our house from electricity to cold fusion and then ride my magic carpet to the moon). If you're not wondering any of that then I really don't know what you're doing here, I mean, this blog is very clearly about my insanity and the use of the subject to moderately entertain others while they're surfing the net on company time.

Anyway...

7pm: It all started at the grocery store. Now who would have ever guessed that the weekend before Halloween was a prime party time? I know it seems so obvious and yet on Friday night as I pulled up to the store to get cake mixes and whatnot I was totally baffled as to why the store was overrun. It only took a blindingly huge sign declaring an urgent need to stock up on chips an dip for me to realize my folly and insantly I was off like a flash trying to get what I needed and get out before party time at 1pm the next day, no small task. Delightfully I managed to get most of what I needed and on sale exept two things: a light bulb and cake mixes.

The light bulb was no big deal, we've been sitting in the semi dark for two days already so what's one more? The cake mixes though were a problem. They were having one of those damn 10 for $10 sales that cause people to stock up like Aramgeddon is upon us, frothing at the mouth and taking things out of others' carts when they're not looking. What? You don't shop in the third circle of Hell?

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, cake mixes. All they had left was lemon. I see this woman with a cart full of yellow cake mixes and I basically shame her into giving me three of them so that my poor son who's turining five won't have a birthday with no cake. As it turned out, they weren't yellow cake, they were butter cake. A whole stick of butter and three eggs in each one. Can you say heart attack?

8pm: I get home and I start slapping these things together as fast as I can so I can also get the kids bathed and in bed, stuff goody bags, wrap presents, etc. The first batch (two 9x13 cakes) come out of the oven relatively without incident until I take them out of the pans. Both of them stick to the bottom of the pans and don't come out well but I made do, leveled them and tried to frost them. Ever frost a cake and have it totally fall apart as you go? Not fun. Red Tod Kidd had the genius idea (I'm not being sarcastic, it was a good idea) to run the frosting cans under hot water to sofen it up. Worked like a charm. I got those two cakes stacked and frosted and the third (and final) one in the oven. Sadly, as you can see from the lovely labeled picture I've provided, it never made it out of the pan at all. Back to the store.

10pm: I went to the other nearby grocery store to find that they had had a similar sale and been cleared out but at least they had a nonsale brand of cake mixes in stock. I got one yellow, one chocolate just to be safe and high tailed it home where I got yet another cake oven ready and then wrapped presents until it was done baking and cooling. I may have stopped to go to the bathroom or something but I can't remember now, it's a blur. I finally finished the damn thing at almost 1am and then I had to clean up the mess (oh, and DAMN was there a mess). Living the dream, I'm living the dream.

Let this be a lesson to all of you, order the ephing cake ahead of time so that you don't feel compelled to bake the most awesomest cake ever for a kid who probably won't remember it in a week just because you feel guilty about not geting your act together sooner. Oh, and I was also under the guilt of not finishing the birthday socks. I'm almost done shaping the gusset on the second one.

Never miss a good oppertunity to shut the fuck up.

2006-10-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

About a year ago Red Todd Kidd came across that quote and I don't recall who said it. What I do remember was joking that I should have that tattooed on my hand where I could see it since I never seem to know whent to shut my mouth.

I did go get a new tattoo this weekend partly to remind me to SHUT UP but also to remind me that everything is temporary. I need to remember that that bad stuff won't last forever and to pay attention to the good stuff when it does come my way.

The place where I got this is awesome, Studio City Tattoo, it's pirate themed and SO clean. It's a really amazing place. Since it was pretty simple, I was in and out of there in about 45 minutes and most of that was chatting with the artist about what I wanted. He did a fantastic job and I'll be sure to post a better picture once it's healed and not so puffy.

We went up to visit Kaylee and The Single Letter this weekend and the four of us took the kids to go see The Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D at the El Capitan in Hollywood. The theater is amazing and the kids had a good time. It was neat to finally see Nightmare on the big screen since I didn't see it when it came out. Sadly the 3-D gave me a headache so I actually had to close my eyes through the middle but my favorite part is the opening so I didn't mind.

I did a bit of knitting in the car on the way up but I was way to stressed to stick with it for long. The trip up was traffic ridden and Lola Beans was Upset. Besides, what I really needed to work on was Darth's socks and I cannot do DPNs in the car. I'm afraid I'll lose an eye if the airbag deploys. Seriously, I can so clearly see it in my mind's eye that... I can't even talk about it anymore, suffice to say I don't use DPNs in the car. I have a whole lot of sock to knit before Darth's birthday party on Saturday. Oh Second Sock Syndrome, why must you plague me?

I have been knitting up some Christmas presents but those are under wraps for now. I'll just say it's a bandwagon project that I picked up supplies for while Michael's was having it's yarn sale.

Pant Wranglin'

2006-10-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

There should be a sporting event in which competetors attempt to get stretch pants onto bucking, sugar filled, screaming, two year olds who have missed their naps and firmly believe it to be naked time. I call this blood sport "Pant Wranglin'" and I compete for a personal best in it every morning. Okay, sometimes it's not until late afternoon, but you get what I mean.

Why photo recognition software MUST be wrong.

2006-10-16T11:35:00.000-07:00

After the delightfully white trash wannabe Bezzie photos I took of myself, I took my hair down. Darth asked if he could take my picture. I thought it might be funny so I let him. Little did I know that it would be this funny. I ran it through a celebrity look alike photo recognition thing. I think some of these people would be miffed at the comparison, I however, think it's hilarious.

By the way, if you hold your mouse over the celebrity photos you can read my comments about each selection.

Video post! (In honor of my 150th post)

2006-10-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

If you hate bathroom mirror photos you will abhor today's bathroom mirror video post. Just warning you.

Oh, and the sound can't keep up with the video so it's all off. This was a bad idea...

Here's the intro:

Part one:

Part two:

Hope you enjoyed my bad hair, lack of make-up, and unscripted lack of witty comments!

EDITTED TO ADD: The fantastic yarn you see me talk about briefly was actually a gift from my CASP, Cheapass Underlord. I didn't get to finish that round and never found out who made that beautiful handspun for me. I have to say, that package came on one of the worst days I've ever had and it made me SO happy. Thanks to whichever knitty made that wonderful yarn for me (She called it Sarah's Seaweed which I LOVED!). You can reveal yourself if you're reading!

Why I'm crazy

2006-10-10T11:21:00.000-07:00

Well I had a series of photos for you but something far more apropriate happened. Blogger decided to give me a big screw you and not upload them. That's why I'm crazy. Everything I try to do is just not possible. I can never complete anything. Can you imagine? If everything you ever did was halted before you could really get into it. You spend time and money preparing for things only to find that there's nothing you can do?

I wrote out about five examples here but then I deleted them. It was too much of a downer.

So. Um. Stuff. Blogitty blog blog blog. Ahem. Nope, still won't upload the pictures. Well, this is akward. Here I went and got your attention and don't have anything to say. Sheesh, how amaturish of me. So how's the weather? Good. And your mother? Excellent. Uh, gotta go, my... grandmother's... on fire. Oh thank you for the excuse, Eddie Izzard, you saint!

The things I do for laughs

2006-10-04T12:27:00.000-07:00

I started an homage to Bezzie because she rules. And because I thought it'd be fun to see everyone in rollers. Of course I had to do it to and since I couldn't seem to buy any curlers I used rag rollers. Since I was using the most ghetto of all styling tools, I decided I should round out the look with trailer park make-up. And now for your viewing pleasure, goofy pictures of me in rag rollers and bad make-up.

Voodoo is the best medicine

2006-09-28T13:04:00.004-07:00

I know this really great lady. She got laid off this week because her company is full of agist, sexist assholes. I sent her the care package you see on the left there. I feel that nothing can bring joy to your heart so much as an effigy of a person that wronged you so that you might do unspeakable horrors to it in hopes that they die a slow painful death. Hey, the healing process is different for all of us, okay?

Anyway the pattern is Bad Juju from the anticraft and I truly hated this pattern. I will not make it again. I will however make more voodoo dolls because they amuse me. I will write my own pattern to do it though because, as I mentioned, I hated this pattern.

Crap I forgot!

2006-09-19T11:31:00.000-07:00

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

In honor of this special day let me leave you with these delightful photos of the costume Kaylee made for Lola Beans to wear to the Gold Coast Pirate festival this weekend. Lola and Darth will be going as Elizabeth Swan and Captain Jack Sparrow. There's a hat too but I couldn't get a picture. Hopefully I'll have more luck on Sunday.

Okay blogger is throwing a fit. Picture 1, Picture 2.

Knitting, erotica, and battery operated device instructions.

2006-09-19T11:17:00.000-07:00

I haven't really been knitting so I haven't really been posting. I'm on to my current hobby of writing trashy sex stories just for the hell of it. As Christmas encroaches I'm certain the tawdriness will succumb to the needles and I'll be knitting up a storm of last minute gifts since most people on my list won't want short stories about quivering loins and whatnot.

The NaNoWriMo challenge was brought up today and I don't know if I'm really up for it. Why, oh why do they have to do that thing in November? I really want to do it but I don't think I've got a novel in me. A bunch of short stories on the same theme counts right? Right?

I'm too concise for novels. I'm condensed like Campbell's soup. Maybe I should write operating manuals for things. For instance:

Using Your New Universal Remote
1) Using tab, pry open battery compartment located on the underside of remote.
2) Insert batteries according to instructional diagram. If you get confused, throw away remote and ask someone to call the home for stupid people for you since you likely can't operate a telephone either.
3) Replace plastic cover.
4) Enjoy television bliss.

Wow, I'm good.

In the intrest of comparison...

2006-09-14T13:51:00.000-07:00

I'm posting it that it might be compared to the scores of others. I find this really amusing for some reason.

My Personality


Neuroticism	71
Extraversion	48
Openness To Experience	90
Agreeableness	7
Conscientiousness	17

Find your MySpace/Xanga/Hi5 soulmate / pysch twin
Test Yourself Compare Yourself View Full Report

MySpace Surveys, Discount Ugg Boots and MySpace Codes by Pulseware Survey Software

Why?

2006-08-08T21:02:00.000-07:00

I finished one of the diapers today. I know, I know, it's been forever since I showed you my cut outs BUT I needed a twin needle and I couldn't find the right size then I finally got one and couldn't find the time to sew. Anyway, I finally got one done and guess what? It is SO huge. I'm going to make do because I'm not trimming the bagillion pieces of fabric. I'll just elasticize the hell out of them and hope for the best.

Also I made a hat. I would show you a picture but suddenly I have misplaced the camera again. Okay, I'll find it and post it later. Promise.

Today I crocheted.

2006-08-03T21:25:00.000-07:00

Successfully, for the first time.

Also Yorkie is a Honda, I am not:

I'm a Lamborghini Murcielago!

You're not subtle, but you don't want to be. Fast, loud, and dramatic, you want people to notice you, and then get out of the way. In a world full of sheep, you're a raging bull.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

Oh and life kinda blows around here lately. Though we have been having fabulous dinners. I've made these incredible pork chops in a burbon mushroom sauce, to die for. Tomorrow we're having flank steaks in a different burbon sauce. Come to think of it we also had some other burbon dish recently and this weekend I'm making coq au vin. Am I going through a cook book or the Boston Bartender's Guide?

Packages

2006-07-19T09:54:00.000-07:00

I got TWO packages last week and being the terrible person that I am, didn't blog either of them. So here they are, a package from my Cheap Ass Secret Pal (who likes Target) and one from my Summer Fling Secret Pal (who also likes Target). Oh and CASP, the reason there's only three bags of M&Ms in the pic is that we tore into one as soon as we opened the package.

Problem solved

2006-07-18T09:01:00.000-07:00

They invented this thing called "talking" and that combined with this concept called "compromise" seems like it's going to do the trick. Who knew?

Retribution

2006-07-17T17:55:00.000-07:00

Ah, the ultimatum. You toss them out with such gravitas and then the day comes when you have to own what you said. I'm good with the clever ultimatum. The one that really hurts. Sadly, they usually punish me as much as whoever I try to use them against but I think that's what makes them so effective, the fact that I'm willing to suffer just to make someone else suffer usually gets my point across.

Almost a year ago I issued one to Red Todd Kidd that involved me shaving my head if I cought him in a certain lie ever again. The time has come for me to decide whether it's worth it to carry through on it. Part of me says, yes I should absolutely do it because then he'll know that I mean business. Part of me says that I'm just being vindictive. I keep going back and forth on it, will it really make a point now that I've cut all my hair off anyway? Am I waffling because of my own vanity? If I do it will he get it or will he continue to do this same thing over and over again making the gesture worthless.

Ugh. I don't know what to do. I'm over the stage where I'd be doing it in just plain anger. I'm calm and cool now, believe it or not.

In Memorium

2006-07-12T18:20:00.001-07:00

I've always said that if someone I knew got cancer I'd shave my head when they went through chemotherapy. I wasn't there to show my solidarity for Jennifer so I decided to do the next best thing. Donate my hair to Wigs for Kids so that somewhere some little kid going through chemo or that has severe burns or alopecia can have it.

I chose Wigs for kids instead of Locks of Love because though highly puublicized, Locks of Love doesn't actually use the donated hair they recieve to make wigs. They sell it and then use the funds to aquire wigs for children. Wigs for Kids uses as many of the donations of hair as they can (not all can be used as some are unsuitable). I don't know, the more research I did on Locks of Love the shadier they seemed. So Wigs for Kids gets the hair.

So there you have it, 14" of length in those ponytails waiting to be mailed. That's about 3-4 years worth of growth and care. I can't say I'm entirely sorry to see it go. I'm happy that I did something for someone else and to honor Jennifer's memory. Also, it's really hot.

Jennifer

2006-07-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

There was an old wood planked fence separating our yard from the neighbors but it didn’t take long for us to notice there was a girl my age living next door. It took even less time for us (my sister and I) to make friends with her and to start talking over the fence for hours everyday. By the time that fence had to be replaced the planks where we stood, in between two trees, had been worn smooth by our hands grabbing them to pull ourselves up on the cross plank below to see over and on the other side there was a bench that had served the same purpose so sunken into the ground that it had to be dug up.

The girl on the other side of the fence was called Jennifer and she was absolutely stunning, my mother commented on it often, but more than that, she was also energetic and fun.

Oh, she was fun. I don’t know what we’d have spent our summers doing if she hadn’t been next door but I do know my sister and I would have spent a lot more time arguing. Instead the three of us walked to 7-11 for candy to play poker. Danya would eat all the Atomic fireballs, I’d eat all the Tootsie Rolls, and Jennifer would eat the Laffy Taffy, telling us the lame jokes under the wrappers as the candy dwindled and the game got boring.

When we didn’t have change for candy we’d sit around playing Go Fish with a regular deck of cards in our version you had to collect all four cards before you could put them down as a set. It was an infuriating way to play and more often then not instead of a simple “Go Fish,” Jennifer would say, “Go Fish in a lake and drown,” which would then escalate into a contest to see who could come up with the worst way you could possibly die while fishing.

Then there was the summer we goofed around with divination; Ouija boards, tarot cards, and ridiculous séances held in Jennifer’s garage. More than once they were interrupted by the garage door opening and us almost being run over by someone returning home.

I got all my best clothes from Jennifer’s hand me downs. My favorite shirt is still the red plaid thrift store find that’s so threadbare it’s nearly unwearable. It had a cigarette burn in it to begin with and now it has two missing buttons, and is spotted with paint from when we painted her room. I always think of her when I pull it out of the closet, it reminds me of all the afternoons we spent lying on the shag carpet in her room while she forced me to listen to The Cure as if the constancy of it would suddenly endear it to me.

Ah, the music. I can’t think of her without thinking of all the bands she introduced me to, some good and some not my taste no matter how hard I tried. She was the first one to play me a Sex Pistols disk and for that I’ll be grateful forever. She also opened my eyes to The Ramones, Elvis Costello, Iggy Pop, Velvet Underground, Joy Division, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Dead Kennedys, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I can’t say I loved it all but I can say I was more prepared to find my own niche in the music world because of Jennifer’s fervor. I held my own in the punk scene because of the solid background I got from her.

I remember her distinctive walk, her weird phrases, her odd style, her super short bangs, her talent for painting, her stint in The Starving Artists Club, and how the other Jennifer around the corner was banned from hanging out with us because we were a bad influence. I remember her swearing me to secrecy that she like d No Doubt. I remember her taking up smoking those ridiculous Virginia Slims Ultra Luxury Lights, the air in LA has more of a kick than those things. I remember her working at PetSmart and bringing home a houseful of pets (not the least of which was the eel she named after Sid Vicious who promptly ate the other fish and threw itself out of the tank repeatedly until it finally succeeded at committing suicide). What I remember most is just her standing there on the other side of the fence laughing and talking, about everything and nothing for all those years.

When we moved we tried to stay in touch with her but her life was just starting to take off and she was hard to get a hold of. When she moved out her dad wouldn’t give me her phone number and I lost track of her. My sister and I inquired about her when we saw people who knew her but never got a real solid answer. We always assumed we’d eventually run into her again. We didn’t know she had moved back to Texas, we didn’t know she got sick, we didn’t know that she had passed away until a few days ago when I ran into another old high school friend. It was so shocking that I didn’t believe it until I saw the MySpace page with the pictures of her.

I’m so sorry that I didn’t try harder to find her. I’m sorry that I missed the last years of her life. I’m sorry that she’s gone. I’ve missed her and now, I’ll always miss her. She was very dear, very special, and very loved.

Cut that shit out!

2006-07-07T10:16:00.000-07:00

I'm almost done with the cutting. Each diaper needs: 1 cover (denim or other heavy fabric), 2 inner layers (t-shirt), 1 6-layer soaker pad (t-shirt), and optional (which I didn't know until after I had really gotten going) liner which is 1 layer of polar fleece and another 6 layer soaker pad called a doubler. All I have left to cut are the doublers and I have to cut eleventy billion yards of strips for the binding. That will be a blast. At least I still have my mat, fancy ruler, and rotary cutter from my short-lived (is that supposed to be hyphenated?) attempt at quilting. Let's not discuss that, suffice to say it was so bad it was very nearly epic. It's a good thing it's the thought that counts.

I still have a bunch of clothes hanging around here too. I'm not sure what to do about that. I don't really have anymore fabric for covers, I went through all the pants and a curtain already. If I make ones that don't have the heavy duty covers I'll need wool soakers until she's got the potty thing down. I don't really want to spend my knitting time on that. Ugh. I do so enjoy making myself insane.

I haven't even told you about the special needle yet have I? Oh man, I can't believe I didn't go into this yesterday. Okay so this project requires a type of sewing machine needle I've never even seen before. It's a twin needle which is one shaft that becomes two seperate needles in this case 4mm apart. You have to thread the machine with two threads. Okay, I'm sure that's not anything special to those who know what they're doing but I had to spend a good 20 minutes with my manual just to see if my machine could actually use one of those needles since I have (by request, mind you) the sewing machine that does the absolute least. Can you imagine me with one of those fancy machines? I'd have to try to use all its crazy functions! It a mercy that my MIL listened and bought the machine that doesn't do anything but sew. As it turns out it can, the question is, can I? The answer reamins to be seen but I'll bet it won't come without a good deal of cursing.

I just spent the last 20 minutes talking to my neighbor (artist not dealer) and he is such a nice guy. He just had a show last night and he was nervous about how he came off, he's kind of a regular guy not an artiste. To prove that point he was coming over to put our trashcans back in the yard after the trash truck came because he thought we were all out of town. Anyway, we were discussing our various projects and mishaps and as it turns out, he once tried to make shoes too! Okay, actually he just tried to resole his shoes but it was still an illfated and illadvised project involving shoes. He also thinks that sewing is hard. Much harder than it seems anyway. I can agree with that.

Time to go, I have MORE cutting to do. Meh.

My nightmare

2006-07-06T08:06:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamed about sewing. I may have mentioned buying a sewing pattern a while back. It took three weeks to get here but it finally arrived. I started cutting out the GAZILLION pieces yesterday. As I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph, I even dreamed about it last night. I'm sure you know why: I HATE sewing. And yet, once again I've been compelled to embark on some large scale, disasterous, project involving skills I don't have (and in this case tools I've never even seen) because I'm a cheap bastard.

I know, I know, the knitty Fru-Gal ladies of Cheapass SP would say that this insanity is a beneficial quality. Some crafters would say that handmade stuff is better because it's made with love. You readers would say that you love it when I decide to do crazy crap like make shoes because my fury amuses you. All of those things are fine I suppose but I just wonder why I feel compelled to spend rediculous amounts of time on doing things myself when I could have purchased what I needed for not much more than I ended up spending on materials. I'm just glad I'm using recycled fabric, if I had bought new I'd be in the mire so deep I couldn't see the sun. I thought knitting was expensive but hot damn! And I didn't even buy the expensive velcro stuff nor did I get any PUL.

So what am I making, you ask? Cloth diapers. I know, at this point you're saying, "WHY!? Your smallest kid is two! You really have lost it, lady," but you'd be wrong. And no I'm not knocked up, thanks so much for wondering. The reason I'm doing this is because my two year old is about ready to use the potty and anyone who has tried to potty train (or "assist in potty learning" for the granola moms out there, a category which Red Todd Kidd is continually insisting I belong to) a kid in the last 10 years knows that super absorbant disposable diapers and ESPECIALLY Pull-Ups (or Easy-Ups, or whatever) impede the learning process drastically. With my son it wasn't until I took them away entirely that he even thought about using the potty. I'm not doing that again.

The problem is that you can't get decent training pants anymore. Gerber makes some pretty flimsy ones that are good once the kid is pretty well done learning but what the hell are you supposed to do in the mean time? Let the kid pee on the sofa? I had a cat thast did that I'm not doing that again either. So I decided to make something. Something out of cloth so she can tell when she's wet and won't like it much but that will hold in the pee so I don't have to buy a bottle of that "Urine Gone" they advertise on tv at 3am. Sounds like a cloth diaper to me, how about you?

Figuring this out I started pricing them and came across a site that sold "recycled diapers" made from old jeans and t-shirts. I was totally sold. I ordered the pattern and even started dreaming of buying the cottege industry licensing because, as you may know, I'm a psychotic masochist who feels the need to do as much sewing as possible because I hate it and don't know what I'm doing.

Then I asked everyone I know to clean out their closets because this takes a LOT of t-shirts. I ended up with two laundry baskets AND a big bag full of old clothes that I had to cut up before I could cut them up. I'd also like to mention that the person who wrote the pattern doesn't know how to get the most from her fabric. I was only supposed to get like four liners out of each polar fleece sweatshirt but I managed five each. Though I didn't get as many covers out of the jeans since I'm doing the largest size and my pant legs weren't always big enough.But I digress, the point I was trying to make is that I spent about five hours cutting shit out and still have about five hours of cutting shit out to go. I assure you this is not my favorite part especially since the thumb numbing craft scissors incedint back in May, which by the way the sensation still hasn't fully come back in my thumb but I have been assured it will eventually.

Where the hell was I going with all of this? I don't remember so I'll just sum up: I'm cheap, sewing is bad, potty training is hard, Pull-Ups are bad, cutting stuff out sucks, I still have a crap ton of work to do, the end.

Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya...

2006-06-30T12:55:00.000-07:00

Pam had this up on her blog and loving The Princess Bride as I do, I had to take the quiz. I was actually surprised. I thought I'd come up Vizzini!

Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

In my absence

2006-06-28T10:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I haven't been blogging, I suck. I've been trying to finish up some UFOs before my new needles from Knit Picks come and I'm forced to start a new project with them. Aside from that, here's what I've been up to:

That trollup, Rain!

2006-06-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

Several months ago I asked Rain to do me a favor and send some stuff to my SP who loved British "food" which she did. In return I sent her some yarn from Knit Picks. Just a trifling of stuff since the international postage boxes are pretty small. Friday afternoon I get the mail and find a package. A package absolutely stuffed with candy, stickers, trinkets for the kids, yarn, and a fantastic handbag made especially for me by one of the busiest knitters on the planet. What a bitch! How dare she send me an adorable bag, more yarn, and other assorted nifty things! I may indeed beat her with a toilet brush as she suggested in her note. I have the distinct impression she may have just started a gift war that will cause me no end of internaitional postage issues. In other words, thanks Rain, we loved it!The kids had an absolute blast with the punching ballons and used the stickers to decorate Father's Day cards for Red Todd Kidd. We haven't gotten to the candy yet but we will. Oh, we will. We had to put it in the fridge because I could tell it was melted and then I forgot about it until just now. Okay, it's mostly gone now. Yum. Cadbury...

Ahem. Anyway, I carried my new little handbag all weekend. The very first place it got to go was to my sister and cousin's graduation. They both graduated from college (University of Phoenix, no not in Arizona, a private college with lots of locations) this weekend and were very excited. My sister is one of about three people ever to go to our local comunity college and eventually get a degree. Way to go!

It begins.

2006-06-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Summer break. Today is the first day of it here. It's 9:30am and already the kids are devouring all snack foods in sight and generally driving each other, and me, crazy. Fabulous.

I haven't been knitting at all. Instead I've been trying to keep up with the SP7 Questionnaire game and also working on one of my other incredibly nerdy persuits, an RPG.

We've also been struggling to decide whether or not to move to San Jose, thanks to an offer given to Red Todd Kidd by his company. It's a lot more money but it's far away and something we had never even considered until this offer came up. Our goal has been Oregon, our purgatory has been San Diego, and this is way random. I don't think we'd consider it at all if it wasn't for the fact that we do know a few people there. My Uncle Elvis and Aunt Ivanna live there (in fact one of the apartment bulidings I found had a really familliar address, I realized it was their old place!) and I discovered Cpurl lives there too. Eh, I don't know. I'm completely on the fence about it. Not to mention it would totally give me away to my CASP!

Nothing else is really happening here. Lola Beans has taken to eating frozen chicken nuggets but that's it. No other interesting stuff. As soon as that sewing pattern gets here, though, there will be plenty of ranting on the blog, of this I am certain.

Go to the head of the class.

2006-06-13T10:41:00.000-07:00

Prompted by Penny Karma's pop quiz (which I totally rocked!) I've put up a quiz for the three people who read my blog. If I had to bet on it, I'm thinking high score will go to Rain. Wanna prove me wrong? Click here!

Cupcakes, cute kids, and crap.

2006-06-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, I never did get around to knitting on Tuesday. Lola Beans kept waking up and by the time I finally got a minute to myself I just ended up sitting on the couch watching VH1's countdown of the 100 Greatest Child Stars (number one was Gary Coleman if you're curious). How sad is that?

Since I have no cool projects going the pictures in today's post are going to be of Lola Bean's Birthday cake, which was cupcakes, and the kids eating them. No pictures of Miss Beans eating them since she slept through the whole party. Poor kid. Anyway, the cupcake tree there is how I managed to maim myself. All those little pictures of the Little Einsteins were made by me. Cut out with those fancy scrapbooking scissors. When I finished making them I noticed that my thumb was numb and tingly. Two weeks later it's better but still a bit tingly. I can't believe I pinched a nerve that bad on something so silly and didn't even notice until it was too late. I couldn't even knit for several days because I couldn't feel anything with my right thumb and it was just too weird. I'm used to it now but I really hope it goes away. The numbness not the thumb, that I'd like to keep.

I'm kind of in a knitting funk right now. I don't have any deadlines left so I'm not pressed to work on anything. I don't really have any projects ready to start either. I'm just kind of "meh" about the whole thing right now. That's probably best since I have a major sewing project coming up. Yes, sewing, the bane of my existance. I'm going to make a few diapers and some adaquate training pants for Miss Beans since I'm sick of buying diapers and the Pull-Ups are the worst invention ever. I can't even begin to tell you about what a nightmare those things are for a parent of a stubborn child. All I'm going to say is that cloth training pants are uncomfprtable when wet and the kid will start going to the can instead of in their pants right quick if you switch to undies and make them help you clean up their messes. Maybe you think that's harsh and traumatic but I'm betting you don't know what it's like to have to do diapers for an infant, deal with a potty resistant three year old, AND clean up after an inconitnent cat day in and day out. There's literally only so much crap I can deal with without going barking mad and my limit is somewhere less than two small children and a cat.

So anyway, I'm going to be doing some sewing and hopefully I won't sew my shirt to my project like that one time, completely forget seam allowances like last time, or give up in misery like all those other times. I should either take a class, buy a book, or just give up on sewing altogether, shouldn't I? Oh well, we all know I'm a crafting masochist so that's not going to happen. Makes more interesting blog reading for the lot of you I guess, silver lining and all that.

*The boys in the pic are my son, Darth, and my nephew, Tank. Acoording to my sister the frosting made Tanks poop blue. Aren't you glad to know that?

Today's goals:

2006-06-06T11:55:00.000-07:00

1) Eat three meals, none of which consist entirely of snack foods. --Did it!
2) Research and prep for purchase of big girl pants for Miss Beans. I'm so sick of buying diapers that I'm not going to do it anymore. --Bought a pattern!
3) Laundry. --Done and put away!
4) Dinner; make something that doesn't suck.
5) Get Miss Beans to bed before 9:30pm, try to get her to go to sleep in bed intstead of in arms. --Skipped her nap and down by 7:45!
6) If there's any time left, knit. --Off to do that right now! I rule!

Formidable goals but I'm on track thus far. I had some toast for breakfast, I'm about to make some lunch, I've done some preliminary research on "Cloth Pull-Ups", I'm thinking about dinner, I've put a load of laundry in... I think I'm doing well. Last night Lola Beans put herself to bed but then she played in there and woke up her brother so I had to get her up and rock her. That didn't work either. At almost 10pm I took her in her room and put her in the bed and just sat there making her lie back down until she gave up and went to sleep. By the time I got her to bed no one else in the house was up. Sigh.

Oh, by the way the diet plan from yesterday makes your tummy feel very rumbly, I'm going to have to rethink it.

The Cheetos Naturals, Coca-Cola, Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookie Diet

2006-06-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

I'll let you know how that goes.

Oh, and if you haven't tried the bliss that are Cheetos Naturals, don't. They're hard to find and I want them all to myself.

Red Todd Kidd finished his MCSE last week, we're pretty excited about that around here. That means we're coming up on the end of his classes and we're all the closer to getting out of my parent's house. Yipee! Don't get me wrong, I love my parents but as an adult is really sucks to live with your parents. You may think you want to feel sixteen again but believe me, you really don't.

The thing I will miss about living here is the weekly dinner. We have dinner every night, of course, but once a week RTK makes a big dinner for everyone and usually a couple of extra people we invite. Last night it was pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, biscuts, and gravy and we had my grandma and RTK's mom over (his dad was out sailing in some race or something). It's just so much fun to have the great food and a few drinks in a relaxed atmosphere. In a couple weeks we're going to try and do a vegetarian meal (which I've never done before) and invite over our neighbor from across the street. The artist and his wife not the drug dealer.

You know what I've been craving (other than the stuff in the title of this post)? A good poker game. RTK and I used to have our friends over for Texas Hold 'em pretty often. We ended up watching a WPT game on television the other night and now we're both rabid to get a game together. Sigh.

I got one of Rachael Ray's cook books, 365: No Repeats. I picked it up at my sister's and flipped through it and it seemed pretty good so I picked it up at Costco this weekend. Yeah, Costco where we sepent almost $240 and I couldn't even tell you what we bought. Except peanut butter, I remember we got peanut butter. And the Cheetos Naturals, can't forget those.

I was meme-ed and I somehow missed it! Oops!

1)What's your favorite LYS? : The Antique Yarn Shoppe in Poway which despite it's name is a very laid back, cool place run by a very cool lady.

2)What about it do you like most?: That the staff is just two hippies as opposed to other places I've been where the staff has been pretentious or INSANE.

3)What is your 2nd favorite?: I don't have a second I don't think. I guess if I have to I go to Two Sisters and Ewe but I don't love it.

4)What would you improve about it to make it a tie with your first?: I'd have to live closer to it since it's way out of my way. I'd also have to there and make freinds with people. Really It's on me, I suppose.

5)What's the last thing your bought at your #1 LYS?: Addi Turbos and two skeins of bulky weight Alpaca.

6)Who's Next?: I'm breaking the chain. I'm a rebel and I'll never, ever be any good.

TurtleGirl RULES!

2006-05-30T12:23:00.000-07:00

Thanks to TurtleGirl going over my template code about a billion times, the bugs have finally been mostly worked out. She is awesome. I hereby declare May 30th TurtleGirl Appreciation Day! In her honor you must go to your template, copy the entire thing into a text document and update it whenever you change your template so that she never has to go through the aggravation I just put her through again.

I fucked up.

2006-05-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

I was talking on the phone, updating flickr, trying to IM while dealing with my four year old, and messing with my template. I didn't have a back up, at least I can't find it. So here we are in the black. I fucked up all my customization and had to start over. PLEASE back up your blogs! Learn from my mistake.

I'm going to go cry now.

Calling Cthulhu fans

2006-05-25T15:17:00.000-07:00

I was goofing around with charts for a fair isle yoked sweater I intend to create and ended up wasting a BUNCH of time on the fair isle chart you see in this post. Yep, it's Cthulhu. Believe it or not this rudimentary chart took some doing. Following the standard rule of not floating a carry for more than five stitches made this endevour very nearly impossible. Finally I got the idea to add some symbol or other from the Lovecraftian universe and came across this one which lent itself well to the chart. The (I think it's the swastika type symbol used to keep the Old Ones away) dot in the center can be done with a bead or french knot. I like it with the lighter colored stripe so that it looks like a more traditional fair isle design but do with it as you wish. Happy minioning! @E

I'm no Wendy

2006-05-22T10:49:00.000-07:00

I rarely post pictures of myself because I rarely look as good as I do even in the picture you see right there. As I flit around looking at the blogs of others I often see pictures of people posing in their brand new FOs or participating in Self Portrait Tuesday and I'm always stoked to see that the people I feel like I know. So I'm going to make more of an effort to post pictures of myself even though I hate how I look in pictures and I don't have HWWV* (see Knit and Tonic) to snap elegant photos of me.

I'm no Wendy but I'm not Phyllis Diller either and she let people take pictures of her.

I have a date tonight, hence the Rosie the Riveter meets Aunt Jemima look I've got going on, got to keep the pin curls tidy while they dry. Actually, the photo is from last week but I look the same today so there was no need to snap another, let's not go crazy here. Red Todd Kidd and I are going out on the town. "On a Monday?" you ask. Why yes, on a Monday. You see I've got something special planned and it's a one night only event so we're going out on a Monday even though it's Lola Bean's birthday today. I figure, she's two, she doesn't know. Plus we're giving her a party on Saturday. Not to mention I'm the one who actually did all the work when she was born anyway.

I wonder how the whole birthday thing got started anyway. If you think about it it should really be kids doing something nice for their mothers on the anniversary of their birth not the other way around. I guess that's the nature of motherhood though, just keep on giving, right?

So here I sit, listening to the kids play while watching Dora the Epileptic Fit Causer, thinking about the knitting and laundry I have to do while I wait for my pin curls to dry. Is it 1943 in here or is it just me?

*This is no way a Wendy slam, I love Wendy and read her blog every chance I get. While I may be jealous of her thin, blonde, fabulousness I still think she's the greatest thing since knitblogging.

Too many appendages!

2006-05-18T10:45:00.000-07:00

(As always, you can click on the pictures for larger views. This is especially helpful for the close up of the wings and stinger.)
The ever versatile Kate pattern has yeilded yet another interesting toy at my house: a bumble bee. The main thing I learned from this experience is that insects have too many appendages and I won't be doing that again. I mean, finishing sucks why would I want to add MORE things to sew on? I suppose we all know the answer to that: the extreme cuteness!

I intended to give this to Miss Beans for her birthday but when I finished it I set it down and Darth gave it to her. He was trying to be nice which was especially sweet since he's got the chicken pox right now(yes he had the vaccine and I'm gld because his case is WAY mild because of it), so I didn't have a fit about it. In any case she seems to like it so who cares if she got it a week early, right?

Okay by now you're wondering what yarn I used and what changes I made right? Here's the scoop:

Yarn:
-Caron Simply Soft in Black and Caron Simply Soft Brites in Lemonade (I made a Tychus with the same two skeins of yarn and there's STILL leftovers enough for at least one more Kate).
Needles:
-Clover bamboo DPNs in size 7US, if I did another I'd even go down one more size to make the fabric that much tighter.
-For the stinger and antennae you'll also need some size 3US needles.
Changes:
-No changes to the basic body of the pattern other than not doing as many colors in the stripes.
-The legs and arms are also done as the pattern calls for with the exception of the stripes on the arms and the fact that there's two extra arms to make.
-The antennae are done by doing a simple I-cord. With size 3 needles cast on 3 sts, knit across. *Slide sts to other end of needle, pull yarn tightly across the back and knit across. Repeat from *8 more times. On next row set up as before but k into fron and back of each st. Break yarn and using a large needle thread end through the sts and pull tightly. Secure as you se fit. I threaded the yarn down through the antenna and used it plus the cast on strand to secure it to the head of the toy.
-For the stinger cast on 8 sts over 3 needles (use your size 3s again!), join to knit in the round and k 2 rnds. (On the next rnd dec 1 st at beg of 1st needle, knit to end of rnd. K 1 rnd plain. Next rnd K to second needle, dec 1 st at beg of second needle K to end of rnd.) K one rnd plain. Next rnd K to third needle dec 1 st at beg of third needle. K one round plain. Repeat section in ( ). When you have 5sts you can put them on 1 needle like I-cord if you like. When you get to the last 3 sts slip 1, K2tog, psso. Break yarn and slip end though loop and pull tight to finish it should create a nice point. You can weave the end through the stinger as for the antennae. Stuff the stuinger with a bit of stuffing to help keep its shape. I used my size 7 needle to get the stuffing down into the point.
-For the wings cast on 14sts and join to knit in the round. K 2 rnds plain. On the next rnd *inc 1 sts, k7 repeat from *. Knit one rnd plain. Next rnd *inc 1 sts, k8 repeat from *. K 4 rnds plain. On next rnd K2tog around. Break yarn and thread through sts, pull tight and secure. Flatten out wings with the incs on edges. Using your contrasting yarn sew the wings flat. I also secured the wings to each other before sewing them onto the body but that's up to you.

If you have any trouble with my directions feel free to contact me or make up your own!

(This post brought to you by the : )

I did it!

2006-05-15T09:02:00.001-07:00

I got those Jaywalkers finished, washed, blocked, and wrapped on time! Ah sweet victory, how I love you.

Red Todd Kidd snapped a few pics of them for me before I wrapped them up and sent them on their way so I'm sharing those with you. No, I didn't cut my hair, it's just pulled back.

We had a very nice day yesterday. Carne Asada, Pacifico, homemade rice, and refried beans. It was also RTK's sister's birthday (it was actually on the third but we celebrated it yesterday) so my MIL made cupcakes. It's funny because I'm doing cupcakes for Lola Beans' birthday party in two weeks. Are they the new black or something? I haven't decided on what flavors yet so if anyone has a recipie to suggest I'd be happy to hear it. Oops, got off the subject.

Anyway, we had a nice day. Red Todd Kidd got me way too many presents but I'm not complaining! My favorite of the gifts was my very own copy of the book The Princess Bride. I'm so excited! I can't wait to read it with the kids. If you've never read it I suggest you go out and get a copy. There's more background to the characters than the movie provides and it will make you love the movie even more.

Man, now I wan to knit Andre! Well, that's going into the queue (Has a UK knitty infected my brain? That just came right out...) for a bit since I should be getting the pattern for my sweater today!

I placed a Knit Picks order last week and should be here today. I ordered two books, a pattern, and a sweater stone. That's right, no yarn. I knew if I ordered yarn I'd HAVE to cast on with it. I was being good... I was being stupid wasn't I? Oh well, it's done now!

Just Crumbs and the sarf for Uncle Elvis to finish and then I can do what I want. Namely, my sweater. I can't wait.

You know what I need? A project.

2006-05-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, you're going to want to click on that to make it bigger. Please. You see, I've worked so long and hard on that sock and now I'm worried that it won't fit. It may be too long. It could be too tight. It's (and it's soon to be buddy) for my MIL and it really has to be right. Not because she's an exacting tyrant (you're thinking of your MIL) but because for her birthday last year I gave her a vest that was too small but that she really liked. The yarn was discontinued and I've never gotten gauge with anything I've tried. I know I should just alter the pattern but since it was such a boring knit I'd really rather find something else . I've just felt terrible that I haven't made it up to her and it's been over a year. Let's not even get started on the cableknit sweater my mom requested. Anyone else feel like a walking apology?

Then of course there's my favorite pattern ever: Crumbs. It's coming along but every time I pick it up I just want to rip the whole damn thing out and start fresh with my very own pattern. I'm very seriously considering writing a pattern (or rather a formula that can be easily adjusted for any size) for a top/dress that is strikingly similar but different enough that I wouldn't infringe on the copyright. If I do that, it will be a free pattern that I'll post here on the blog. Any volunteer test knitters (for child and adult sizes)? If I have test knitters willing to allow me to use pics of their projects once finished, I'd be able to offer the pattern much sooner. Like, in time for summer soon.

My newest project that's due at the end of the month is this. I know it looks like a swatch but it's bulky yarn and it'll be a scarf before you know it. It's for my uncle, Elvis*, who has a bad bout of bronchitis. He lives up in the Bay area (San Francisco, Oakland) and works a job where he has to be out of doors a great deal. As Mark Twain said, "There's no colder winter than summer in San Francisco." Hopefully this scarf will help him get well and stay that way. It is alpaca after all. Anyway, Uncle Elvis and Aunt Ivanna are going to be coming down for Lola Beans' birthday party so I want to have it ready then.

On top of these projects I also have my super secret Kate modification that's not quite done yet. It needs appendages and it has more than your standard mammal. Will I finish in time? I sure hope so! I've got a Knit Picks order coming with a pattern I adore and a book by EZ that has a sweater I want to modify. I've gone project MAD!

*As always the names of subjects are changed to reflect their true character, or because I felt like it.

One sock down, bi-atch!

2006-05-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

One Jaywalker is done and the second is on the needles. I should be working on it now but I haven't posted in over a week!

In my absence I've made progress on Crumbs as well, I'm in the skirt now and though it's slow going, it is going. Small favors, blah blah.

Okay I have to get a move on but Ill post something witty and worthwile tomorrow. Okay I can't make those promises but something will get posted tomorrow.

And coming soon: The Fourteen Feet of Fug takes a trip...

Bilateral symmetry you are my nemisis!

2006-04-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

Damn humans with their two feet. I have a severe case of PMSSS (for the uninitiated, that stands for Pre-Mature Second Sock Syndrome) and as such I have a question for all of you:

Once you finish turning the heel of a sock do you suddenly knit in slow motion?

I seem to.

I did up the top of that sock in no time flat. The heel took some time because I had to rip it out to get the reinforcing thread right but still, it was fairly quick. Then I picked up my gusset stitches and started the decreases. That was Wednesday. Today is Friday and I've gotten through the decreases but not much further. I'm treading against the tide trying to do the foot of this thing and going nowhere.

And there's another whole sock to do!

Now I remember why I don't knit socks much. I'm bad at finishing one thing let alone one two-part thing!

Damn your two footedness human kind! Damn it!

How'd I get on this bandwagon?

2006-04-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it is what you think it is (Notice the unintentional diffused glow that alerted me to clean the camera lens, makes it look almost other worldly, eh?). It's a Jaywalker. I don't know what compelled me to do it but suddenly I looked down and I had an inch of ribbing on my size 1US DPNs. I swear I don't even remember winding that skein of All Things Heather (gift from the lovely Keohinani) into a ball but there was that inch of ribbing and it was time to start that pattern stitch. I've picked up and put down the DPNs quite a few time since I found that ribbing in my hand and I'm always astonished at how quickly it seems to be going.

Until I got to the heel.

Now, I've made socks before and I have never understood why some people don't get turning a heel. To me it seems intuitive. I've never had any heel turning trouble to talk tabout (the alliteration is out of control!). The trouble I had with this particular sock was with the reinforcing thread. I couldn't seem to choose one. They all looked crappy. I'm not sure I'm happy with the one I ultimately chose but I do know that I'm not ripping that damned heel out again.

Also, purling across a sliped stitch heel pisses me off. I don't like it.

I am pretty proud of how neatly the stitches look where I picked up around the gussets. Usually I get one perfect side and one that pulls but this time it's looking pretty sweet.

All in all I'm pretty happy with this pattern. Hopefully I'll be able to finish this sock and it's mate for my MIL for Mothers' Day and then I'll go back and finish Crumbs. I'm not stalling on it so much as I just can't find the beads and I have to string more. That's a "GRR!" for another post though.

(The color is more accurate in the first picture)

The OoS make a classroom appearance

2006-04-24T18:30:00.000-07:00

A quick aside about the picture: I searched and searched and couldn't find a pic of Edina for some reason. I know I have several I just can freaking find them. Instead of a recent picture I offer up to you this picture of us at a high school formal. Oddly the nicknames I've chosen to obscure the identities of those therein are mostly actual nicknames from high school. In fact four of them. You can guess if you want.

My good freind Edina*, lover of all things kitchy, decided to do her informative speech in her Speech Class on knitting. This was mostly so she could spend her spring break sitting around my house learning to knit so she can eventually make purses. Edina loves purses. LOVES them. If she were stranded on a desert island and could only have one thing, she'd totally take her purse. At least she'd have about 12 lighters in it... I'm getting off the subject.

Anyway, Edina decided to do her speech on knitting. She's going to discuss a bit of the history, a breif how to, and dispell some common misconceptions. She intends to do all of this while wearing the Overalls of Shame.

She explained to me that in order to punch up a speech she thought others might find dull she needed something to grab their attention so we called up my cousin and got the okay to take the OoS on an outing. This will be video taped. Which brings me to my big question:

Does anyone know how turn a VHS clip into something I can puit on my computer to share with the lot of you? Because this just seems too good to pass up.

*Name has been changed to reflect the true character of the subject.

Once upon a time, I thought I could do anything...

2006-04-21T11:28:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember last year when I decided to make my own shoes? I've got the itch to try again. Actually I also have the itch to get a new tattoo but that's another post. I've been working it out in my head and I even pulled out the leather the other day. Then yesterday I found a website for a place to go learn to make shoes for real. Yeah, I'm TOTALLY stoked about it. I've already got a freind of mine roped in to going with me and helping me acheive my dreams of cobblery. The only thing is, it's in Washington AND it's pretty expensive. Alas, it shall be awhile before I can attend. Sigh. But I'm definately going to do it, and it's going to be (dare I quote Barney?) Legendary. Yes, with a capital "l".

In the mean time, I'm working on Crumbs (you may call it Crumpets but I no longer do) and thinking of starting some Jaywalkers for my MIL. I'd like to give them to her for Mother's Day but I don't think that's going to happen. Likely I'll just make them when I get a bit more stuff off the needles and give them to her for Christmas.

As a quick aside, about The Dalai Lama's book: I think I'm going to have to read it more than once.

Making peace

2006-04-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

Crumpets is slow going as you can see. I'll be giving pattern notes for this thing when I finish it since it was very poorly written. On the bright side you can see my very first pair of Addi Turbos in that picture and I am LOVING them. They make me dread the rows of cabling because I don't want to touch the cable needle when I could be touching those slick shiny new Addis. The cable needle you see in the pic isn't the one I'm using, the one I like up and dissapeared, likely forever lost in the chair I do my knitting in. I've been using a cable hook actually and I don't love it to say the least. I wish I could do the cab;es without a cable needle but this is definately not a project where that is possible.

I can also tell you that there's no danger of me becoming a cotton junkie anytime soon. My poor fingers are suffering from the stuff. But the beads. I love the beads. Beaded knitting my just be my new thing. It's so much fun! I can't wait for the bead rows. I love how they look! Well, I'd love them more if they were the clear purple beads I wanted instead of the dark metallic beads I'm using. Let me tell you it was not fun to dig through the bag of multicolor beads looking for the purplest ones but I think it was worth the effort for them to match a bit better. You can see that some of the beads are still blue or green but they've got purple over at least half of them because they tricked me into thinking they were purple long enough to get into the project. Which reminds me...

A few pattern notes for those who wish to make Crumpets:
1) Prestring the beads before you cast on.
2) An example of the Picot Cast On can be found here: Knitty pattern for Miss Dashwood.
3) You will need WAY more beads than the pattern calls for. I'm not sure just how many but I wish I had stung on at least an additional 25%.
4) Slip all stitches knitwise unless other wise instructed. This may be intuitive to you but it sure as heck wasn't to me. I always slip my stitches purlwise so they don't twist. In this pattern you want that twist.
5) Just because you swatched doesn't mean you'll get the right size. Just remember that the pattern stitch for the top is a multiple of six so after you've seen how crazily huge it is, rip out and guess at how many stitches you'll actually need using a multiple of six. Sorry, I haven't come up with a better way just yet. Once I've finished I'll be sure to share the actual pattern gague for the top section.

I'm sure there will be more and I'll put all of this in my pattern review when I finish the thing.

Oh! I almost forgot, I'm actually reading a book! I know this may not seem like a monumentous event to most people but when you have two small children, it's very difficult to read anything that is longer than you can read in the can. I'm reading a book by the Dalai Lama because that guy fascinates me and also because I'm an angry, angry person and hopefully this will help.

Okay, I have to go, I can hear Darth talking about jumping off his bunk bed, he's four, that won't go well.

Best. Day. (For mail.) Ever.

2006-04-17T14:22:00.000-07:00

(Click the images for larger views)
I got TWO packages in the mail this morning! One came all the way from the UK, sent by my lovely SP, Glittrgirl. The other came from the oposite direction, sent by the wonderful Keohinani.

Over there to the left you can see my package from Glittrgirl which included a cute green bag (linen?), two balls of Noro Aurora in color 6, some Earl Grey tea, a bar of delicious soap that I MUST HAVE MORE OF! Ahem, a cute stuffed bunny (Lola has made off with it already) that she knitted, a box of Lindor truffles, A felted pincushion, a blank journal, some english candies, a ball of Curious Yarns sock yarn in Gothic, and a couple of stitch markers! Oh the last few things were in the green purse so I tool a second pic to show those. So many goodies! Oh, and the card says, "Honey, you gotta sin to be saved!" I love it! That's going to get used in a project eventually I think...

As for the box from Keohinani, I knew she was sending me some of her handspun but what I didn't know is that she saw it was my birthday and sent some extra goodies along. First off, she's so dang sweet she sent me a box of presents and she thanked me! I can't wait to get to her incredibly soft handspun. It's going to be the first thing I grab when the birthday knitting for Miss Beans is done. It's bright and soft and I can't wait! Anyway, she also sent along a bit of her handspun that isn't dyed and I may just hit that with some kool-aid, I haven't decided yet. Then there were the extras, 440yards of self striping sock yarn from All Things Heather (jaywalkers?), a little purple journal, some soap from the Body Shop (do I smell?), and a box of some crazy Japanese... candy? I don't know, I didn't open it yet. She calls it a party in a box. I call it my lucky day.

Hooray for me! I feel so special!

It's my birthday.

2006-04-12T11:57:00.000-07:00

Yep. I'm 26 today. Yawn. This is one of the more boring birthdays I can recall. Nothing going on. Not going out to celebrate. Nothing exciting happening. Just me, home with the kids like any other day. Oh wait, it is laundry day. Yippeeeeee!

Sigh.

At tea parties in Hell they serve...

2006-04-10T16:15:00.000-07:00

CRUMPETS! This pattern is the bane of my existance!

I swatched. I really did. If my new digital camera were here I'd show you the swatch. The perfect sized swatch that I did. And I'll be damned if several inches into the thing I didn't realize that not only had I twisted my cast on for the first time EVER but it was a lso a good SIX inches bigger around than the size I was knitting was supposed to be.

Before I even got to that point, the tearing-it-out-while-screaming-obcenities-and-shaking-my-
fist-at-the-sky point. I had issues with this pattern. It calls for a picot cast on but omits the two sentence directions for said cast on. They do include two pages of pictures of some kid wearing the finished item which, however cute, are not helpful to ANYTHING having to dowith this pattern. There's a detail of the pattern stitch given but no detail of it with the beadwork. Speaking of the beadwork, they don't mention anything about prestrining the beads until you're supposed to start slipping them into place. I just think that in a four page pattern that prints in a 12 point font and includes two pages of pictures, a few sentences to say, "Hey prestring the beads and to do a picot cast on you cast on five stitches, bind off two, and repeat until you have the right number of stitches for your size," might have been nice.

I'm not sure what my gague problem is yet but I'm going to go get some new needles tomorrow. I'll get a pair in the same size I was using but with a shorter cable as I may have ben stretching it, and another pair in a size smaller in case that doesn't solve the problem. If I end up knitting this thing on needles a size smaller AND have to knit the smallest size in order to get it to come out at the medium size I will not be a happy camper especially since, as I may have mentioned, I SWATCHED!

Damn that adorable pattern!

Ahem.

As I mentioned, I'm getting a new digital camera. Red Todd Kidd and I (as predicted) are giving it to each other for our birthdays. It should actually arrive on my birthday (Wednesday). I'm actually typing this on one of RTK's b-day gifts: a snazzy light-up keyboard. It's still pretty stiff so forgive my typos.

I got some birthday gifts of my own this weekend. A couple of new westerns for the ol' movie collection. That's the current genre I'm into. I'm going to be running a Western themed RPG here pretty soon (my other nerdy hobby) so I've been watching insane amounts of westerns. I have decided that Clint Eastwood is about the coolest guy ever. Anyway. I've also decided that since I never read anymore, I'm going to switch out the "What I'm reading" thingy on the sidebar to a "Movie(s) of the Week" thingy. I promise someday I'll read again. I just can't do it when Lola Beans eats my books. Seriously, she's eaten more than one.

Bleach, camera, and Kates galore

2006-04-03T16:59:00.000-07:00

Bleaching the KP yarn didn't do anything to it. It wasa bit lighter but not enough to justify the effort. I have given up on it and will put it in the box of shamefully unfinished things.

I'm getting a new camera! Yes , Red Todd Kid already ordered it and it should be here next week. Or this week. It will get here sometime. I'm totally stoked because the new camera will have a way shorter lag time so I can actually take pictures of my kids doing cute stuff intead of three seconds after they did some cute stuff. I'm also excited because then I can show you all pictures of my latest endevour.

I've been working on another Kate and it's definately NOT a cat. It's not even mammalian. Of course, it's not so out there as an alien but it's different, for sure. I think I may write up a whole section of Kate mods for you guys. I have some other ideas dancing in my brain. Not as cool as the Star Wars Kates (yoda here, Leia here) but I think mine are pretty cool.

Hide the yarn, Sarah's on the loose.

2006-03-30T16:05:00.000-08:00

Soooooo. I decided to make Crumpets for Lola Beans' birthday. Very cute. I thought to myself, hey, I have some DK weight yarn around here. Turns out it was KP Merino Style in Storm. Didn't much care for it for Miss Beans so I thought I'd over-dye it and make it sort of a verigated purple. Did I mention I've never dyed anything before? Well, inexperience has never stopped me from jumping into the wading pool head first before so I gathered up some Kool-Aid packets and went to town. It didn't go as I had hoped.

Then I decided I'd try something just for you, my readers. In the history of knitbloggers I have never heard of anyone trying to bleach a bad dye job and re-dye it (like I've done to my poor hair in the past). So I have four (yes four) skeins of Merino style sitting in a bleach soak in the sink as I type this. I'm afraid to go look at it's progress.

Okay, it's time, I'll keep you posted.

Edit: So far it doesn't look much different but it's wet. One of the skeins is a bit greenish now. The rest look a tad lighter but like I said, they're still wet. I don't know if it was the bleach or the fact that I rung them out (because I don't care that much anymore) but they did full slightly. I ran my fingers through them a bit and they're fine now. They're hanging in the garage to dry. I'm off to shop for back up yarn. Toodles.

The Muppets rule

2006-03-30T08:12:00.000-08:00

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!"
You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn't always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.

The Muppet Personality Test

I took it twice, the first time I got Animal.